Ever leave the DMV and see successful people who aren't this T20 college obsessed and wonder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And contrary to the PP who said in the DMV it's all MC and LMC people trying to advance their kids -- people do this differently in other parts of the country. Even when they are LMC or MC and trying to help their kids climb an income ladder. In fact, in many parts of the country, the focus for college is on finding a way to get a good education that will get you the credentials you need to create a stable and financially rewarding career, without simply buying into prestige rankings or name recognition.

A major difference, though, is that DC has an extremely credential-focused economy and there is a perception that a degree from a "top" school is the only way to stand out in a sea of graduates from the Ivies, top/nationally recognized public flagship, and elite/highly competitive SLACs. Outside the DMV, the calculus is very different. Going to a T20 for its own sake might impress people, but it's not automatically considered the best (or only good) option. Lots of terrific state flagships, as well as smaller state schools that have well-respected departments in specific specialties, many of which have pipelines into industry in those states, including plenty of high-paying international companies and firms.

One thing I've noticed outside the DMV is that people, even young people, tend to view entrepreneurship as a more accessible possibility than here. And in many ways it is more accessible. Start up costs for a new business in the DMV can be daunting, and the market can be competitive. But that's not true elsewhere. I also think that the further west you live, the stronger the idea that you make your own way through life and in your career, rather than simply going to the "right" schools and having the way paved for you by your credentials.

This. No other city has the same credential-based economy as DC. None. Yes, you can find pockets in NYC (finance, dramatic arts, etc) but there is so much more career diversity in other cities. Here, at least within DC and the very close-in suburbs, it is pretty much journalism, then law, lobbying, policy, whether for FedGov or private. That is all so credential-driven. So DC is a self-selecting universe of very smart people who all achieved quite a bit (educationally), so of course they will think that is the way to go. Head out to Ashburn, or up to Gaithersburg, and you see way more entrepreneurs who didn't "achieve" at the tippy top schools, but they're buulding businesses and creating, and taking risks. Or head to another state and talk to friends there - and see how they live...very very different from the rat race here. Only downside to the DC crowd is that they are motiviated to...achieve. but not to build or create. They have no real appetite for risk (not sure they've ever had to take a real risk), very few have actualy created something meaningful and sustainabvle, from scratch, and are absolutely terrified of failing or being percieved to be wrong about something.

[Anonymous]

Why is my experience so different? My private school senior said just last night that he would be psyched to go to a particular state school. He might apply to an Ivy bc he is very interested in a particular program but he doesn’t view it as the end-all-be-all. He does like to study a lot, as do his friends, but he chooses it. He also has a close-knit group of buddies that I hope he stays in touch with for life. My youngest kid doesn’t like to study but finds a lot of happiness participating in a certain activity and will likely end up at a low ranked school but she is happy as a clam now.

We have told our kids since they were little that there are a thousand paths you can take to become successful human and it has sunk in - at least it seems like it now. Also, neither my husband nor I graduated from a prestigious school and are pretty happy with our lives, so they do have our example to follow.

I come on this board to find answers to questions about applications etc. I am surprised by a lot of answers I see.

[Anonymous]

This. No other city has the same credential-based economy as DC. None. Yes, you can find pockets in NYC (finance, dramatic arts, etc) but there is so much more career diversity in other cities. Here, at least within DC and the very close-in suburbs, it is pretty much journalism, then law, lobbying, policy, whether for FedGov or private. That is all so credential-driven. So DC is a self-selecting universe of very smart people who all achieved quite a bit (educationally), so of course they will think that is the way to go. Head out to Ashburn, or up to Gaithersburg, and you see way more entrepreneurs who didn't "achieve" at the tippy top schools, but they're buulding businesses and creating, and taking risks. Or head to another state and talk to friends there - and see how they live...very very different from the rat race here. Only downside to the DC crowd is that they are motiviated to...achieve. but not to build or create. They have no real appetite for risk (not sure they've ever had to take a real risk), very few have actualy created something meaningful and sustainabvle, from scratch, and are absolutely terrified of failing or being percieved to be wrong about something.

I left D.C. several years ago, and this thread is fascinating. In my experience, outside of the D.C. Metro, where you went to school is simply not as much of an emphasis. Sure, it's interesting when people studied at Stanford or Cal, but there are plenty of "builders/creators" that went to less heralded schools. I view D.C. as an economy of "takers." The wealth and innovation in America is largely created elsewhere, D.C. is where the tax bounties and wealth created by those companies goes to be spent. How it's spent is up for great debate, but when you consider that D.C is a company town and is not lacking in affluence, maybe that spending and the various industries it supports need to be a bit more closely examined. Put differently, who is getting rich off of our tax dollars? Maybe these T20 folks are onto something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is my experience so different? My private school senior said just last night that he would be psyched to go to a particular state school. He might apply to an Ivy bc he is very interested in a particular program but he doesn’t view it as the end-all-be-all. He does like to study a lot, as do his friends, but he chooses it. He also has a close-knit group of buddies that I hope he stays in touch with for life. My youngest kid doesn’t like to study but finds a lot of happiness participating in a certain activity and will likely end up at a low ranked school but she is happy as a clam now.

We have told our kids since they were little that there are a thousand paths you can take to become successful human and it has sunk in - at least it seems like it now. Also, neither my husband nor I graduated from a prestigious school and are pretty happy with our lives, so they do have our example to follow.

I come on this board to find answers to questions about applications etc. I am surprised by a lot of answers I see.

Same for me, although kids at an affluent public school. DH and I have a good life and we both went to affordable state Us. I don't get the obsession. I have one kid at VT and a rising senior who has a range of schools on her list with no clear preference, she knows she can do well anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This. No other city has the same credential-based economy as DC. None. Yes, you can find pockets in NYC (finance, dramatic arts, etc) but there is so much more career diversity in other cities. Here, at least within DC and the very close-in suburbs, it is pretty much journalism, then law, lobbying, policy, whether for FedGov or private. That is all so credential-driven. So DC is a self-selecting universe of very smart people who all achieved quite a bit (educationally), so of course they will think that is the way to go. Head out to Ashburn, or up to Gaithersburg, and you see way more entrepreneurs who didn't "achieve" at the tippy top schools, but they're buulding businesses and creating, and taking risks. Or head to another state and talk to friends there - and see how they live...very very different from the rat race here. Only downside to the DC crowd is that they are motiviated to...achieve. but not to build or create. They have no real appetite for risk (not sure they've ever had to take a real risk), very few have actualy created something meaningful and sustainabvle, from scratch, and are absolutely terrified of failing or being percieved to be wrong about something.

I left D.C. several years ago, and this thread is fascinating. In my experience, outside of the D.C. Metro, where you went to school is simply not as much of an emphasis. Sure, it's interesting when people studied at Stanford or Cal, but there are plenty of "builders/creators" that went to less heralded schools. I view D.C. as an economy of "takers." The wealth and innovation in America is largely created elsewhere, D.C. is where the tax bounties and wealth created by those companies goes to be spent. How it's spent is up for great debate, but when you consider that D.C is a company town and is not lacking in affluence, maybe that spending and the various industries it supports need to be a bit more closely examined. Put differently, who is getting rich off of our tax dollars? Maybe these T20 folks are onto something.

DC is an economy of takers? Really? Tell that to all us Feds who chose a career in service. Managers of wealth, deciders, maybe, but takers? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This. No other city has the same credential-based economy as DC. None. Yes, you can find pockets in NYC (finance, dramatic arts, etc) but there is so much more career diversity in other cities. Here, at least within DC and the very close-in suburbs, it is pretty much journalism, then law, lobbying, policy, whether for FedGov or private. That is all so credential-driven. So DC is a self-selecting universe of very smart people who all achieved quite a bit (educationally), so of course they will think that is the way to go. Head out to Ashburn, or up to Gaithersburg, and you see way more entrepreneurs who didn't "achieve" at the tippy top schools, but they're buulding businesses and creating, and taking risks. Or head to another state and talk to friends there - and see how they live...very very different from the rat race here. Only downside to the DC crowd is that they are motiviated to...achieve. but not to build or create. They have no real appetite for risk (not sure they've ever had to take a real risk), very few have actualy created something meaningful and sustainabvle, from scratch, and are absolutely terrified of failing or being percieved to be wrong about something.

I left D.C. several years ago, and this thread is fascinating. In my experience, outside of the D.C. Metro, where you went to school is simply not as much of an emphasis. Sure, it's interesting when people studied at Stanford or Cal, but there are plenty of "builders/creators" that went to less heralded schools. I view D.C. as an economy of "takers." The wealth and innovation in America is largely created elsewhere, D.C. is where the tax bounties and wealth created by those companies goes to be spent. How it's spent is up for great debate, but when you consider that D.C is a company town and is not lacking in affluence, maybe that spending and the various industries it supports need to be a bit more closely examined. Put differently, who is getting rich off of our tax dollars? Maybe these T20 folks are onto something.

DC is an economy of takers? Really? Tell that to all us Feds who chose a career in service. Managers of wealth, deciders, maybe, but takers? No.

PP who posted the "creators/risk" post. Feds are taking our tax dollars and not creating anything with them Sure, some of you are protecting civil liberties, but the vast majority are just facilitators and bureaucrats. Not that fund managers are any better, but at least they take risk and live and die with capitalism. Feds get paid no matter what. No real judgment there, because taxes are part of the bargain of a democratic society and federalism, and we need a strong central government. But there is a strong element of taking there.

[Anonymous]

DC is an economy of takers? Really? Tell that to all us Feds who chose a career in service. Managers of wealth, deciders, maybe, but takers? No.

Keep telling yourself that, and maybe you're one of the exceptions. I was raised by two Federal employees, so I do have some context. Lovely people, yes, but hardly the tip of the spear. I stand by my early statement.

[Anonymous]

1. It’s not just a DC bubble. It’s also NYC, Boston, Seattle, Chicago, LA, the Bay Area, Dallas, Houston, etc.

2. It was your choice to send your kids to Big-3.

Own your choices.

[Anonymous]

DC is hardly a city of takers. We pay more per capita in income taxes than any other state.

https://norton.house.gov/media-center/press-releases/at-start-of-federal-tax-filing-season-norton-reminds-the-public-that-dc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This. No other city has the same credential-based economy as DC. None. Yes, you can find pockets in NYC (finance, dramatic arts, etc) but there is so much more career diversity in other cities. Here, at least within DC and the very close-in suburbs, it is pretty much journalism, then law, lobbying, policy, whether for FedGov or private. That is all so credential-driven. So DC is a self-selecting universe of very smart people who all achieved quite a bit (educationally), so of course they will think that is the way to go. Head out to Ashburn, or up to Gaithersburg, and you see way more entrepreneurs who didn't "achieve" at the tippy top schools, but they're buulding businesses and creating, and taking risks. Or head to another state and talk to friends there - and see how they live...very very different from the rat race here. Only downside to the DC crowd is that they are motiviated to...achieve. but not to build or create. They have no real appetite for risk (not sure they've ever had to take a real risk), very few have actualy created something meaningful and sustainabvle, from scratch, and are absolutely terrified of failing or being percieved to be wrong about something.

I left D.C. several years ago, and this thread is fascinating. In my experience, outside of the D.C. Metro, where you went to school is simply not as much of an emphasis. Sure, it's interesting when people studied at Stanford or Cal, but there are plenty of "builders/creators" that went to less heralded schools. I view D.C. as an economy of "takers." The wealth and innovation in America is largely created elsewhere, D.C. is where the tax bounties and wealth created by those companies goes to be spent. How it's spent is up for great debate, but when you consider that D.C is a company town and is not lacking in affluence, maybe that spending and the various industries it supports need to be a bit more closely examined. Put differently, who is getting rich off of our tax dollars? Maybe these T20 folks are onto something.

DC is an economy of takers? Really? Tell that to all us Feds who chose a career in service. Managers of wealth, deciders, maybe, but takers? No.

PP who posted the "creators/risk" post. Feds are taking our tax dollars and not creating anything with them Sure, some of you are protecting civil liberties, but the vast majority are just facilitators and bureaucrats. Not that fund managers are any better, but at least they take risk and live and die with capitalism. Feds get paid no matter what. No real judgment there, because taxes are part of the bargain of a democratic society and federalism, and we need a strong central government. But there is a strong element of taking there. [/quote


I don’t even know where to start. I guess you are willing to live in a country with no government. Try Somalia or any other country with a failed state. See how you like it there.

[Anonymous]

Eh, OP. You can change their mindset, and your own, now. You don't have to live with regret about not making their lives easier. You can actually decide not to obsess about this or keep up with the Joneses anymore and prioritize your family's happiness. Your family clearly has the means and support necessary for kids to thrive. So, they will, with or without the T20 degree.