Parents please believe your child’s teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child was having issues so we had an evaluator sit in the classroom.

They evaluator had a list of 5 things for the teacher (not the child, not the parent) to change.

You paid a person to tell you your kid was perfect and it was all the teacher at fault? Got it.

No I paid a person to tell me my child was dyslexic.

When she observed the classroom she made suggestions to the teacher (and principal). The design of the desks, the order of the classes, the use of the board vs lecture, etc.

The teacher wasn’t as defensive as you she used all the suggestions to make her classroom a better environment for learning.

But you fo demonstrate his the teacher can be the problem and simple suggestions to improve are net with hostility.

This is hilarious. So many of those things are out if a teacher’s control. You think a teacher gets to unilaterally pick what order to teach classes. It has to be coordinated with specialists and the school. If the entire school teaches math before recess your observer’s recommendation that the teacher teaches reading first is laughable. The design of of the desks? Often times the leadership is dictating how they want desks arranged. If a teacher want to use rows of desks that wouldn’t be allowed at some schools. The teacher probably was relieved when your child left the class at the end of the year.

This anecdote really highlights the problem with education. The parent assumes the teacher is the problem and brings in an expert, somebody without teaching experience who is unfamiliar with the operations of an actual classroom. This expert doesn’t know the many conflicting priorities a teacher needs to meet on a daily basis. Would I have an “expert” sit in on a doctor’s appointment with me? No. I assume my doctor has the training and knowledge to be the expert in that environment. Why can’t we give teachers that same respect? I’m a general education teacher who is about to spend my whole summer in supplemental training programs. And for what? To have an “expert” second guess what I do in my classroom?

This post is hilariously ignorant.

PARENTS! Listen to teachers do something with your problem child!

Okay, I paid $3000 for an evaluation like you suggested which includes evaluation the child in the classroom.

PARENTS! Don’t use experts !

Like WTF! You want parents to take your feedback and get help or not? Sorry the observation found flaws in your teaching but if you have such a low self esteem that you can’t receive feedback maybe you shouldn’t teach.

Wow. Let’s take a slow, methodical look at this anecdote. The parent brings in an expert that makes a medical diagnosis. Was this a learning specialist, one who knows about dyslexia, or was this an education specialist, one who is experienced in pedagogy? Either way: Instead of saying what the student or family can do to support the child’s needs, the only changes mentioned are what the teacher needs to do. The teacher, who is responsible for 25+ other students, also doesn’t have the flexibility to even make some of the recommended changes. Somebody who understands how schools are run would know that. The person the family hired had one goal: find what will support that ONE child. The teacher can and would certainly accept recommendations, but the ones listed in the initial post are impractical. The teacher’s schedule and seating arrangements were already set to accommodate a variety of needs. If the hired expert had suggested accommodations that the parents, student, and teacher could implement together, then that would have been VERY useful. That’s not the picture the poster initially painted. The initial email was 100% “the teacher was wrong” and your attack above about finding flaws in teaching is a good illustration of the ultimate problem. Were these actually flaws in the initial post? They didn’t sound that way to me. Teachers are also experts. We take feedback daily. We have also learned to critically evaluate it.

It’s like you don’t know that IDEA exists.

Truly amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child was having issues so we had an evaluator sit in the classroom.

They evaluator had a list of 5 things for the teacher (not the child, not the parent) to change.

You paid a person to tell you your kid was perfect and it was all the teacher at fault? Got it.

No I paid a person to tell me my child was dyslexic.

When she observed the classroom she made suggestions to the teacher (and principal). The design of the desks, the order of the classes, the use of the board vs lecture, etc.

The teacher wasn’t as defensive as you she used all the suggestions to make her classroom a better environment for learning.

But you fo demonstrate his the teacher can be the problem and simple suggestions to improve are net with hostility.

This is hilarious. So many of those things are out if a teacher’s control. You think a teacher gets to unilaterally pick what order to teach classes. It has to be coordinated with specialists and the school. If the entire school teaches math before recess your observer’s recommendation that the teacher teaches reading first is laughable. The design of of the desks? Often times the leadership is dictating how they want desks arranged. If a teacher want to use rows of desks that wouldn’t be allowed at some schools. The teacher probably was relieved when your child left the class at the end of the year.

This anecdote really highlights the problem with education. The parent assumes the teacher is the problem and brings in an expert, somebody without teaching experience who is unfamiliar with the operations of an actual classroom. This expert doesn’t know the many conflicting priorities a teacher needs to meet on a daily basis. Would I have an “expert” sit in on a doctor’s appointment with me? No. I assume my doctor has the training and knowledge to be the expert in that environment. Why can’t we give teachers that same respect? I’m a general education teacher who is about to spend my whole summer in supplemental training programs. And for what? To have an “expert” second guess what I do in my classroom?

This post is hilariously ignorant.

PARENTS! Listen to teachers do something with your problem child!

Okay, I paid $3000 for an evaluation like you suggested which includes evaluation the child in the classroom.

PARENTS! Don’t use experts !

Like WTF! You want parents to take your feedback and get help or not? Sorry the observation found flaws in your teaching but if you have such a low self esteem that you can’t receive feedback maybe you shouldn’t teach.

Wow. Let’s take a slow, methodical look at this anecdote. The parent brings in an expert that makes a medical diagnosis. Was this a learning specialist, one who knows about dyslexia, or was this an education specialist, one who is experienced in pedagogy? Either way: Instead of saying what the student or family can do to support the child’s needs, the only changes mentioned are what the teacher needs to do. The teacher, who is responsible for 25+ other students, also doesn’t have the flexibility to even make some of the recommended changes. Somebody who understands how schools are run would know that. The person the family hired had one goal: find what will support that ONE child. The teacher can and would certainly accept recommendations, but the ones listed in the initial post are impractical. The teacher’s schedule and seating arrangements were already set to accommodate a variety of needs. If the hired expert had suggested accommodations that the parents, student, and teacher could implement together, then that would have been VERY useful. That’s not the picture the poster initially painted. The initial email was 100% “the teacher was wrong” and your attack above about finding flaws in teaching is a good illustration of the ultimate problem. Were these actually flaws in the initial post? They didn’t sound that way to me. Teachers are also experts. We take feedback daily. We have also learned to critically evaluate it.

It’s like you don’t know that IDEA exists.

Truly amazing.

I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion. If we take the original post at face-value, then we need to question whether that particular classroom was the most appropriate setting. A teacher cannot change an entire school schedule, the classroom configuration, all teaching methodology, etc. Of course that student should receive a strong education that supports the new diagnosis, but I can’t give the teacher 100% of the blame like that original poster did. It seems as if the expert’s suggestions go FAR above what one teacher can change, so in this case a different environment could also be explored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child was having issues so we had an evaluator sit in the classroom.

They evaluator had a list of 5 things for the teacher (not the child, not the parent) to change.

You paid a person to tell you your kid was perfect and it was all the teacher at fault? Got it.

No I paid a person to tell me my child was dyslexic.

When she observed the classroom she made suggestions to the teacher (and principal). The design of the desks, the order of the classes, the use of the board vs lecture, etc.

The teacher wasn’t as defensive as you she used all the suggestions to make her classroom a better environment for learning.

But you fo demonstrate his the teacher can be the problem and simple suggestions to improve are net with hostility.

This is hilarious. So many of those things are out if a teacher’s control. You think a teacher gets to unilaterally pick what order to teach classes. It has to be coordinated with specialists and the school. If the entire school teaches math before recess your observer’s recommendation that the teacher teaches reading first is laughable. The design of of the desks? Often times the leadership is dictating how they want desks arranged. If a teacher want to use rows of desks that wouldn’t be allowed at some schools. The teacher probably was relieved when your child left the class at the end of the year.

This anecdote really highlights the problem with education. The parent assumes the teacher is the problem and brings in an expert, somebody without teaching experience who is unfamiliar with the operations of an actual classroom. This expert doesn’t know the many conflicting priorities a teacher needs to meet on a daily basis. Would I have an “expert” sit in on a doctor’s appointment with me? No. I assume my doctor has the training and knowledge to be the expert in that environment. Why can’t we give teachers that same respect? I’m a general education teacher who is about to spend my whole summer in supplemental training programs. And for what? To have an “expert” second guess what I do in my classroom?

This post is hilariously ignorant.

PARENTS! Listen to teachers do something with your problem child!

Okay, I paid $3000 for an evaluation like you suggested which includes evaluation the child in the classroom.

PARENTS! Don’t use experts !

Like WTF! You want parents to take your feedback and get help or not? Sorry the observation found flaws in your teaching but if you have such a low self esteem that you can’t receive feedback maybe you shouldn’t teach.

Wow. Let’s take a slow, methodical look at this anecdote. The parent brings in an expert that makes a medical diagnosis. Was this a learning specialist, one who knows about dyslexia, or was this an education specialist, one who is experienced in pedagogy? Either way: Instead of saying what the student or family can do to support the child’s needs, the only changes mentioned are what the teacher needs to do. The teacher, who is responsible for 25+ other students, also doesn’t have the flexibility to even make some of the recommended changes. Somebody who understands how schools are run would know that. The person the family hired had one goal: find what will support that ONE child. The teacher can and would certainly accept recommendations, but the ones listed in the initial post are impractical. The teacher’s schedule and seating arrangements were already set to accommodate a variety of needs. If the hired expert had suggested accommodations that the parents, student, and teacher could implement together, then that would have been VERY useful. That’s not the picture the poster initially painted. The initial email was 100% “the teacher was wrong” and your attack above about finding flaws in teaching is a good illustration of the ultimate problem. Were these actually flaws in the initial post? They didn’t sound that way to me. Teachers are also experts. We take feedback daily. We have also learned to critically evaluate it.

It’s like you don’t know that IDEA exists.

Truly amazing.

I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion. If we take the original post at face-value, then we need to question whether that particular classroom was the most appropriate setting. A teacher cannot change an entire school schedule, the classroom configuration, all teaching methodology, etc. Of course that student should receive a strong education that supports the new diagnosis, but I can’t give the teacher 100% of the blame like that original poster did. It seems as if the expert’s suggestions go FAR above what one teacher can change, so in this case a different environment could also be explored.

You’re a joke but thanks for demonstrating in real time how this conversation goes.

[Anonymous]

I have never had a teacher criticize any of my kids at all. When I ask specific questions, I get back that they are great and everything is fine. When I ask about a lack of improvement in iReady testing from BOY to MOY, I hear about how bad iReady is, not consistent with classroom performance, etc, etc. If a teacher actually criticized one of my kids or made any sort of statement with negative connotations, I would assume my kid murdered someone. Who are these teachers that give overly judgmental or even remotely harsh feedback? 3 ES kids, 4 different schools over the past 5 years between them and no actionable feedback of any kind ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child was having issues so we had an evaluator sit in the classroom.

They evaluator had a list of 5 things for the teacher (not the child, not the parent) to change.

You paid a person to tell you your kid was perfect and it was all the teacher at fault? Got it.

No I paid a person to tell me my child was dyslexic.

When she observed the classroom she made suggestions to the teacher (and principal). The design of the desks, the order of the classes, the use of the board vs lecture, etc.

The teacher wasn’t as defensive as you she used all the suggestions to make her classroom a better environment for learning.

But you fo demonstrate his the teacher can be the problem and simple suggestions to improve are net with hostility.

This is hilarious. So many of those things are out if a teacher’s control. You think a teacher gets to unilaterally pick what order to teach classes. It has to be coordinated with specialists and the school. If the entire school teaches math before recess your observer’s recommendation that the teacher teaches reading first is laughable. The design of of the desks? Often times the leadership is dictating how they want desks arranged. If a teacher want to use rows of desks that wouldn’t be allowed at some schools. The teacher probably was relieved when your child left the class at the end of the year.

This anecdote really highlights the problem with education. The parent assumes the teacher is the problem and brings in an expert, somebody without teaching experience who is unfamiliar with the operations of an actual classroom. This expert doesn’t know the many conflicting priorities a teacher needs to meet on a daily basis. Would I have an “expert” sit in on a doctor’s appointment with me? No. I assume my doctor has the training and knowledge to be the expert in that environment. Why can’t we give teachers that same respect? I’m a general education teacher who is about to spend my whole summer in supplemental training programs. And for what? To have an “expert” second guess what I do in my classroom?

This post is hilariously ignorant.

PARENTS! Listen to teachers do something with your problem child!

Okay, I paid $3000 for an evaluation like you suggested which includes evaluation the child in the classroom.

PARENTS! Don’t use experts !

Like WTF! You want parents to take your feedback and get help or not? Sorry the observation found flaws in your teaching but if you have such a low self esteem that you can’t receive feedback maybe you shouldn’t teach.

Wow. Let’s take a slow, methodical look at this anecdote. The parent brings in an expert that makes a medical diagnosis. Was this a learning specialist, one who knows about dyslexia, or was this an education specialist, one who is experienced in pedagogy? Either way: Instead of saying what the student or family can do to support the child’s needs, the only changes mentioned are what the teacher needs to do. The teacher, who is responsible for 25+ other students, also doesn’t have the flexibility to even make some of the recommended changes. Somebody who understands how schools are run would know that. The person the family hired had one goal: find what will support that ONE child. The teacher can and would certainly accept recommendations, but the ones listed in the initial post are impractical. The teacher’s schedule and seating arrangements were already set to accommodate a variety of needs. If the hired expert had suggested accommodations that the parents, student, and teacher could implement together, then that would have been VERY useful. That’s not the picture the poster initially painted. The initial email was 100% “the teacher was wrong” and your attack above about finding flaws in teaching is a good illustration of the ultimate problem. Were these actually flaws in the initial post? They didn’t sound that way to me. Teachers are also experts. We take feedback daily. We have also learned to critically evaluate it.

It’s like you don’t know that IDEA exists.

Truly amazing.

I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion. If we take the original post at face-value, then we need to question whether that particular classroom was the most appropriate setting. A teacher cannot change an entire school schedule, the classroom configuration, all teaching methodology, etc. Of course that student should receive a strong education that supports the new diagnosis, but I can’t give the teacher 100% of the blame like that original poster did. It seems as if the expert’s suggestions go FAR above what one teacher can change, so in this case a different environment could also be explored.

You’re a joke but thanks for demonstrating in real time how this conversation goes.

If you mean that a teacher tries to meaningfully contribute about the restrictions they face but is then immediately shut down, then I agree. This is how the conversation goes.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

Stop speaking in coded language that doesn't mean anything. Try sharing actual information. Maybe then you'll find parents listening to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely believe the teacher but I know of a mother of a black boy who got phone calls for behavior, and it turned out his behavior was identical to the behavior of white kids and black girls who did not get phone calls. Yes it was true that he was rocking back and forth on the carpet and looking away while the teacher was talking. It was also true that she was biased against this poor kid. So while I believe the teacher’s facts I won’t always wholesale accept their conclusions

This is awful and I am sorry your friend's child was singled out.

I am the parent of white kid who had bad behavior in elementary school. I was was called all the time. I was told to come into school for endless meetings. DS was sent to the office 3 times a week. Please know this happens too. (he has Autism and school, including his teacher, was refusing to review for IEP or provide appropriate environmental accommodations)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen teachers let kids bully.

Kids are bullies because their parents raised them that way. Your kid being a menace is not the fault of a teacher that's known them for 3 months. Also, you must be oblivious but telling a kid to "stop being mean" doesn't work! Neither does contacting parents or asking them to apologize. So what would you suggest the next step be?

FYI: We can NOT suspend kids in DCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child was having issues so we had an evaluator sit in the classroom.

They evaluator had a list of 5 things for the teacher (not the child, not the parent) to change.

You paid a person to tell you your kid was perfect and it was all the teacher at fault? Got it.

No I paid a person to tell me my child was dyslexic.

When she observed the classroom she made suggestions to the teacher (and principal). The design of the desks, the order of the classes, the use of the board vs lecture, etc.

The teacher wasn’t as defensive as you she used all the suggestions to make her classroom a better environment for learning.

But you fo demonstrate his the teacher can be the problem and simple suggestions to improve are net with hostility.

I’m left wondering how the teacher accommodated all of these suggestions that directly benefit your child while simultaneously supporting all of the other children in the class.

Also, you need to realize how your initial statement sounds to a teacher. Teachers have to take responsibility for everything. They are used to hearing “simple suggestions” from their administrators, from parents, and from anybody else who spends 2 seconds in their classrooms. Often these suggestions contradict.

This is a neat encapsulation of what happens:

Teacher: Your child has big problems!!
Parent: OK, we got an evaluation and this is what they need in the classroom.
Teacher: That’s not possible!! Only kids with IEPs get that
Parent: OK give us the IEP
Admins: Not possible! Your child doesn’t have a disability that require special education.
Parent: Here, talk to our lawyer
Admins: Ok here is your IEP
Teacher: (Doesn’t implement IEP)
Teacher: Your child has big problems!
Parent: I know. Did you follow the IEP?
Teacher: I don’t have the resources
Other Parents: Why does that bad kid get all the resources? It’s so unfair!

fin

Ha! This is it exactly.

Optional encore:

<Homeschool>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen teachers let kids bully.

Kids are bullies because their parents raised them that way. Your kid being a menace is not the fault of a teacher that's known them for 3 months. Also, you must be oblivious but telling a kid to "stop being mean" doesn't work! Neither does contacting parents or asking them to apologize. So what would you suggest the next step be?

FYI: We can NOT suspend kids in DCPS

Intervene in the moment. Separate the bully from the kid being bullied. Teach kids math, grammar, history, and geography.

What do you want the parent to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen teachers let kids bully.

Kids are bullies because their parents raised them that way. Your kid being a menace is not the fault of a teacher that's known them for 3 months. Also, you must be oblivious but telling a kid to "stop being mean" doesn't work! Neither does contacting parents or asking them to apologize. So what would you suggest the next step be?

FYI: We can NOT suspend kids in DCPS

it's amazing that you don't realize that there are actually evidence-based behavioral approaches to address aggression. THIS is why parents have to go whole-hog and hire lawyers and consultants and get in-class evaluations. because schools basically sit there like "durrrrr, your kid is bad!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen teachers let kids bully.

Kids are bullies because their parents raised them that way. Your kid being a menace is not the fault of a teacher that's known them for 3 months. Also, you must be oblivious but telling a kid to "stop being mean" doesn't work! Neither does contacting parents or asking them to apologize. So what would you suggest the next step be?

FYI: We can NOT suspend kids in DCPS

Intervene in the moment. Separate the bully from the kid being bullied. Teach kids math, grammar, history, and geography.

What do you want the parent to do?

Yes + don't blame the kid being bullied, don't pretend it isn't happening just because you can't stop it, don't punish the kid that actually stands up for themselves, and don't be surprised when the victim(s) take matters into their own hands in a way that you don't like.

[Anonymous]

Can we just note that the bullying conventions need to be done thoughtfully? We had issues with bullying the entire first half of third grade. You know what started it? Bullying awareness week. Biggest. Mistake. EVER. The kids started labeling each other as bullies and were quick to accuse without understanding the term. Once someone made an accusation, others would join in and they'd chant it at each other. Which kid was targeted switched every week or two. My daughter came home crying that everyone was pointing at her and calling her a bully one day. I asked her what started it and she had no idea. Next week it was another kid, then another. It wad a really tough few months.

The kids frankly still have no idea what bullying is. The term has been misused so many times now it's the equivalent of calling someone mean. It's also viewed as an appropriate way to show you're mad at someone. "I don't want to play with XXX because she's a bully." What did she do to earn that label? Sit next to another friend at indoor recess or lunch that day. It's bonkers.

(Occasionally mostly tuned out parents would also hear the fake bullying accusations and charge into the guidance counselor or administration. Everyone would speed to a response. It was a big mess as none of the 8 yo accusors understood what the word even meant.)

[Anonymous]

My favorite kind of parent is the one who tells me their child has no issues at home, and then when I ask how he does on play dates, they tell me he can’t go on those, because he can’t behave. Then I see the kid at Target having a screaming fit over Pokémon and other people tell me the kid is a nightmare at soccer, but you have no problem with him at home? Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen teachers let kids bully.

Kids are bullies because their parents raised them that way. Your kid being a menace is not the fault of a teacher that's known them for 3 months. Also, you must be oblivious but telling a kid to "stop being mean" doesn't work! Neither does contacting parents or asking them to apologize. So what would you suggest the next step be?

FYI: We can NOT suspend kids in DCPS

it's amazing that you don't realize that there are actually evidence-based behavioral approaches to address aggression. THIS is why parents have to go whole-hog and hire lawyers and consultants and get in-class evaluations. because schools basically sit there like "durrrrr, your kid is bad!"

I posted above about separating kids. I wonder if this kind of response is what makes teachers feel overwhelmed and undervalued. Saying that there are evidence based behavioral approaches to reduce aggressive behavior sounds like you are talking down to the teacher, there is a lot of work that the teacher needs to do to address this child’s aggression, and finally, the teacher is somehow responsible for helping children manage their emotions.

No wonder teachers feel that they don’t have enough resources to do this and push it back onto parents.