Is $200K A Negative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

We are in our 40s and 50s and have never made anywhere close to 200K individually or combined. When I met my husband, he was earning peanuts as a post-doc at NIH. Research doesn't pay, even when you have an MD and a PhD. It's a labor of love. It saves lives. There are a lot of professions with a higher purpose, and perhaps you could look there for a spouse.

And yet we're living a nice life in Bethesda, because we live frugally and invested wisely in the stock market.

There will be plenty of interested people if you present well and are genuine and charming. Some people on DCUM are crazy, ignore.

Invested wisely and bought housing at a price that is now unthinkable. Don’t be dense. OP cannot afford a SAHM in Bethesda. I think that’s fine—he can live in Anne Arundel with me—but seriously, join us in the current century.

+1. The issue is that OP has to buy a home here, which is extremely expensive. $200K isn't a lot for that and there's a big difference between someone who bought their home 20 years ago now living on $200K and someone who has to buy it now. OP is wise enough to know that sometimes women intend to keep working but then things change after having a child.

OP, do you have a lot in savings? Focus on saving as much as you can and hopefully you can find a partner who also has a bit saved up and has a good salary.

[Anonymous]

Wow. A Man is not a plan. This board is nuts. I’ve been a
SAHM and it’s hard work! Juggling career and family is hard but it’s nice to have choices and decide as a family. If you are attracting women who only want a 200+ man, you need to swipe differently. I am teaching my girls to be able to fend for themselves. Your husband could have an affair, Health issues, a hidden secret, or god forbid dies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A Man is not a plan. This board is nuts. I’ve been a
SAHM and it’s hard work! Juggling career and family is hard but it’s nice to have choices and decide as a family. If you are attracting women who only want a 200+ man, you need to swipe differently. I am teaching my girls to be able to fend for themselves. Your husband could have an affair, Health issues, a hidden secret, or god forbid dies!

plus 1. I know a girl that married for money, stayed home, prenup, he divorced her and she had no resources because she never worked on herself. Her plan was a rich guy. That’s it You sound like a terrific mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know women that looked for high earning spouses and they got them. The problem, they are miserable as their husbands don’t treat them like equals, have cheated on them, work late for.... If money is your first priority in a partner, you’ll regret it.

Trust me, spouse doesn’t treat you as equal just because you didn’t look at his paycheck. You will regret either way.

Um, what? Can you explain your point a different way. It’s confusing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A Man is not a plan. This board is nuts. I’ve been a
SAHM and it’s hard work! Juggling career and family is hard but it’s nice to have choices and decide as a family. If you are attracting women who only want a 200+ man, you need to swipe differently. I am teaching my girls to be able to fend for themselves. Your husband could have an affair, Health issues, a hidden secret, or god forbid dies!

Having a high income working wife and kids is hard work too. Work that most men I personally know aren’t willing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know women that looked for high earning spouses and they got them. The problem, they are miserable as their husbands don’t treat them like equals, have cheated on them, work late for.... If money is your first priority in a partner, you’ll regret it.

Trust me, spouse doesn’t treat you as equal just because you didn’t look at his paycheck. You will regret either way.

Um, what? Can you explain your point a different way. It’s confusing

I’m pretty sure what PP means is lower income men can be just as horrible as high income men when it comes to truly sharing the domestic burden.

[Anonymous]

Would love to know where all these people with astronomical salaries work? Controller jobs in the DC area usually go for around 150 in a middle market company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would love to know where all these people with astronomical salaries work? Controller jobs in the DC area usually go for around 150 in a middle market company.

I know, DCUM is insane thinking everyone makes $200K as a minimum. The fact is that there are tons of federal and non-profit employees here, most of whom make <$200K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A Man is not a plan. This board is nuts. I’ve been a
SAHM and it’s hard work! Juggling career and family is hard but it’s nice to have choices and decide as a family. If you are attracting women who only want a 200+ man, you need to swipe differently. I am teaching my girls to be able to fend for themselves. Your husband could have an affair, Health issues, a hidden secret, or god forbid dies!

Depends on the woman’s age, if she is dating in her 20s, asking 200k from another 20 something is kind of absurd. If they are both mid to late 30s, it’s a normal expectation. A woman who didn’t need to scale back for kid can have this kind of earning potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know women that looked for high earning spouses and they got them. The problem, they are miserable as their husbands don’t treat them like equals, have cheated on them, work late for.... If money is your first priority in a partner, you’ll regret it.

TONS of women have cheating husbands and/or ones tha taren't helpful around the house and aren't great fathers. Plus they are broke or make very average salaries.

Money makes everything easier, including putting up with or divorcing your cheating husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know women that looked for high earning spouses and they got them. The problem, they are miserable as their husbands don’t treat them like equals, have cheated on them, work late for.... If money is your first priority in a partner, you’ll regret it.

TONS of women have cheating husbands and/or ones tha taren't helpful around the house and aren't great fathers. Plus they are broke or make very average salaries.

Money makes everything easier, including putting up with or divorcing your cheating husband.

Loser men cant see the logic flaws in their argument. 🤔

[Anonymous]

I think your salary is great. Especially if you aren't divorced with kids from another relationship you are supporting, which doesn't sound like you are.

I would say that is average salary for more advanced degree professionals.

[Anonymous]

^most

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200K is pretty much my minimum for dating a guy seriously but I also make $220K and I have some issues so I figure a guy who can’t even make more than I do has even bigger issues than I do. That said it would be an exception if they were truly excelling at something I respect that’s less lucrative, like they are a research scientist, a successful musician or artist, or a serious journalist.

What do you bring to the table? Your paycheck? Not sure that makes up for your issues, whatever those are.

Just FYI, this is what insecure men say. Don't use that phrase unless you want to sound like one of them.

It’s valid. Many women want so much but have so little to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200K is pretty much my minimum for dating a guy seriously but I also make $220K and I have some issues so I figure a guy who can’t even make more than I do has even bigger issues than I do. That said it would be an exception if they were truly excelling at something I respect that’s less lucrative, like they are a research scientist, a successful musician or artist, or a serious journalist.

What do you bring to the table? Your paycheck? Not sure that makes up for your issues, whatever those are.

Just FYI, this is what insecure men say. Don't use that phrase unless you want to sound like one of them.

You didn’t answer the question. $200k per year is her minimum, and she has “issues”. She’s high maintenance in other words. That sounds unpleasant.