Is $200K A Negative?

[Anonymous]

I just moved back to the area and I’m single after getting out of a longterm relationship. I’m serious about finding a partner because I’m ready and I want a family. The only issue for me is I make about $200k/year. While that is well above the average U.S. salary, I know that is below the average DC salary, at least from what I gathered on here. I worry that my salary will be a negative for most women who want a higher earning spouse. How challenging will it be to find a potential partner with my salary?

[Anonymous]

Only if you’re looking for gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

Depends what you think you're entitled to. Are you a 38 yr old guy who wants a thin pretty 28 yr old who is willing to put her career in the backseat to yours? Or are you a 33 yr old ready to date other 33 yr olds who also have established careers and expect to be treated as an equal?

[Anonymous]

THB, yes. I know several DC women who are only looking for higher salary because it’s expensive here and they may want the option to be a SAHM. I’m sure you can find exceptions and there will be women who don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THB, yes. I know several DC women who are only looking for higher salary because it’s expensive here and they may want the option to be a SAHM. I’m sure you can find exceptions and there will be women who don’t care.

Oh come on. A couple can have a very nice life in this area on a $200k hhi and a sah parent. Don’t be absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only if you’re looking for gold diggers.

All people are wise to consider their partner's salary. If you think it's best for children if one spouse downshifts or steps back while their kids are young, $200k is a bit tight barring a long commute. I have a long commute, but people on this board are appalled by the idea, so I guess that's a common sentiment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THB, yes. I know several DC women who are only looking for higher salary because it’s expensive here and they may want the option to be a SAHM. I’m sure you can find exceptions and there will be women who don’t care.

Oh come on. A couple can have a very nice life in this area on a $200k hhi and a sah parent. Don’t be absurd.

To OPs comment, I’ve read on this thread women expecting their spouse to make $400k + a year in order to live a comfortable life, with many of their spouses earning $600k +. There are women here who expect that and feel they can’t live a comfortable on anything less. I don’t agree with them, but many of these women have high expectations and expect more than OPs salary.

[Anonymous]

Just avoid women who have any desire to be SAH. That's a rare type of woman these days. Shouldn't be too hard. Discuss it early and be clear.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and have never dated anyone who makes over $175k. But I have my own money so it’s not as important to me as it may be to some. But I think $200k is a great salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and have never dated anyone who makes over $175k. But I have my own money so it’s not as important to me as it may be to some. But I think $200k is a great salary.

+1

[Anonymous]

Even on DCUM I think 200k is a very good salary. Most people who talk about 300k are talking HHI—- two GS 15s, or one firm lawyer and one lower salary

[Anonymous]

Are you making $200k and topped out? Or are you making $200k and have potential to be making $400k in a few years?

Also, do you expect to do 50% of the household work? Do you expect to date women making $200k or women making $85k?

You could be a catch, either as potential for someone who wants to SAH once you’re making more and is willing to put her career on the back burner later OR for someone who is driven who you are willing to be a team player with, go 50-50, and have an HHI closer to $500k and outsource more.

You also might not be a catch if you’re going to expect someone to be impressed with $200k in this area and/or sideline their own career and live on a $200k HHI here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THB, yes. I know several DC women who are only looking for higher salary because it’s expensive here and they may want the option to be a SAHM. I’m sure you can find exceptions and there will be women who don’t care.

Oh come on. A couple can have a very nice life in this area on a $200k hhi and a sah parent. Don’t be absurd.

I don’t think this is true. It was true about 10 years ago, but now you are not going to easily pay the mortgage for a single family house in a good school pyramid on that income, or your housing costs are going to be truly ridiculous as a proportion of your salary. Let alone private school and well funded 529s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just moved back to the area and I’m single after getting out of a longterm relationship. I’m serious about finding a partner because I’m ready and I want a family. The only issue for me is I make about $200k/year. While that is well above the average U.S. salary, I know that is below the average DC salary, at least from what I gathered on here. I worry that my salary will be a negative for most women who want a higher earning spouse. How challenging will it be to find a potential partner with my salary?

Then those are not the women you want.

BTW, $200k is above average, even for DC area.

[Anonymous]

Oh crap, I’m a single 29 year old guy and only make 300k. I always thought my income was a plus but if 200k is a negative then I must be neutral at best. I’m gonna start working harder now.