Is $200K A Negative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:W...t....f....

Most women in DC have no interest in staying home. If you were a SAHM type you got married pretty much right out of college. 200K is fine.

Lots of SAHMs in the DC suburbs, which is where OP will probably end up.

+1. Lots of career women quit their jobs to stay home or scale back their hours to raise their kids.

[Anonymous]

Women who use salary as the main criteria in looking for a partner have serious issues.

[Anonymous]

OP please don’t use this board as any kind of barometer for what “most” women in DC want. It’s incredibly skewed and $200k is a great salary. I live in DC with my DH, 3 kids and a HHI of $250k (split evenly) and we live extremely well with no additional help. This board is not reflective of reality for the vast majority of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who use salary as the main criteria in looking for a partner have serious issues.

I didn’t, so I end up working like a dog during the day paying for all the bills and slaving away for the kids cooking and cleaning the second shift. I am pretty sure I will die at 52 without a single day worth living.
I am here to tell the young women not to be idiots and follow the same route.

[Anonymous]

I never thought about DH’s salary when we were dating. Could have married richer but it honestly never occurred to me. I make my own money and felt happy to use other criteria — like chemistry, character, who I want to talk with for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends what you think you're entitled to. Are you a 38 yr old guy who wants a thin pretty 28 yr old who is willing to put her career in the backseat to yours? Or are you a 33 yr old ready to date other 33 yr olds who also have established careers and expect to be treated as an equal?

My ex went for a fat chunky 27 yr old with no career. Does that count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who use salary as the main criteria in looking for a partner have serious issues.

I didn’t, so I end up working like a dog during the day paying for all the bills and slaving away for the kids cooking and cleaning the second shift. I am pretty sure I will die at 52 without a single day worth living.
I am here to tell the young women not to be idiots and follow the same route.

Probably shouldn’t have had kids. You sound…delightful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who use salary as the main criteria in looking for a partner have serious issues.

I didn’t, so I end up working like a dog during the day paying for all the bills and slaving away for the kids cooking and cleaning the second shift. I am pretty sure I will die at 52 without a single day worth living.
I am here to tell the young women not to be idiots and follow the same route.

Probably shouldn’t have had kids. You sound…delightful.

You sound helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who use salary as the main criteria in looking for a partner have serious issues.

Just like men who use looks as the main criteria do. Both are one piece of a package deal, and insisting either should be ignored is foolish.

[Anonymous]

DH and I each earn $200k, so combined HHI of $400k. I never desired to be a SAHM and I actually like that we are evenly matched. There is no breadwinner, so I don’t have any issue putting kid duties or house work on him (we split evenly, but gender norms would tip the scale in my direction if I didn’t push it back). You will do just fine.

[Anonymous]

What kind of woman are you looking for?

[Anonymous]

I will put it bluntly. You won’t have to settle for a fatty with that salary, but you won’t be able to get a trophy wife with that salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even on DCUM I think 200k is a very good salary. Most people who talk about 300k are talking HHI—- two GS 15s, or one firm lawyer and one lower salary

I’m the secondary salary GS-14 to my husband’s and I make $185k. He currently makes $275k because he took a step back- but averaged around $400k for 2 decades- but that was more stress and he didn’t WAH like he does. now with me. 2 WAH parents is pretty awesome for raising a family.

So find a partner that works too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you making $200k and topped out? Or are you making $200k and have potential to be making $400k in a few years?

Also, do you expect to do 50% of the household work? Do you expect to date women making $200k or women making $85k?

You could be a catch, either as potential for someone who wants to SAH once you’re making more and is willing to put her career on the back burner later OR for someone who is driven who you are willing to be a team player with, go 50-50, and have an HHI closer to $500k and outsource more.

You also might not be a catch if you’re going to expect someone to be impressed with $200k in this area and/or sideline their own career and live on a $200k HHI here.

OP here. I live VA right outside of DC. There is potential for my salary to grow but I won’t ever make more than $250k in my field. I don’t have any expectations regarding a woman’s income. I don’t expect her to stay at home or put my career first. That’s up to her ahh if it makes sense financially down the road. A good buddy of mine has a super career driven wife who was adamant she will always work and then she quit after working PT for 6 months to raise her two boys until they go to school. Anything can happen and I don’t think that decision can be made until kids are here.

I don’t expect anyone to be impressed with my salary. The whole point of the thread was me being worried I wouldn’t make enough to attract a woman is this area.

Move into dc. Many women who live in dc prefer to date men who live in dc, but there are way more single straight women around yuor age living in dc than there are men. Seriously. Living in dc will up your dating prospects considerably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will put it bluntly. You won’t have to settle for a fatty with that salary, but you won’t be able to get a trophy wife with that salary.

Funny, I had a trophy wife and I made a lot less than OP.