Is $200K A Negative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know women that looked for high earning spouses and they got them. The problem, they are miserable as their husbands don’t treat them like equals, have cheated on them, work late for.... If money is your first priority in a partner, you’ll regret it.

Trust me, spouse doesn’t treat you as equal just because you didn’t look at his paycheck. You will regret either way.

Um, what? Can you explain your point a different way. It’s confusing

I’m pretty sure what PP means is lower income men can be just as horrible as high income men when it comes to truly sharing the domestic burden.

Ok, but higher income men have more choices and options to cheat with travel etc

Are you joking? Do you know how much tail cops, plumbers, electricians, mechanics, contractors, etc. have thrown at them every day?

My handyman lives in a $4500/month one bedroom apt. He is def a high income man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200k is not a dealbreaker if the guy supports me having a career. That means he cannot be working 80 hours a week and expect me to both work and deal with all things child and home related. He needs to have flexibility and willingness to pitch in for 50/50 or thereabouts.

Ah, in that case you’ll grit your teeth and look past his meager take-home pay.

Nope. In that case, we both bring in the bacon and raise our family.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the information.

For more information, I live in a townhouse I just bought in Falls Church. I make around $200k/year but have a large amount in savings and no debt. There is opportunity for me to make more but I will never make more than $250k/year in my field. I have a lot of flexibility with work and usually work 40-50 hours but I’ve been putting in extra hours lately to save up more money.

I want an equal partner. I can’t really answer questions or say much about kids because I won’t know certain things until I have them. I know I’m looking for a woman around my age who knows what she wants and is at the stage in her life where she wants to settle down and get married and have kids.

[Anonymous]

DC women are the worst. Some of the most entitled women who are largely unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the information.

For more information, I live in a townhouse I just bought in Falls Church. I make around $200k/year but have a large amount in savings and no debt. There is opportunity for me to make more but I will never make more than $250k/year in my field. I have a lot of flexibility with work and usually work 40-50 hours but I’ve been putting in extra hours lately to save up more money.

I want an equal partner. I can’t really answer questions or say much about kids because I won’t know certain things until I have them. I know I’m looking for a woman around my age who knows what she wants and is at the stage in her life where she wants to settle down and get married and have kids.

OP, like others have said, anyone who dismisses you as a potential partner, simply because of your salary, isn’t someone you’d want as a partner. Knowing that you want an equal partner as well and would share equitable in household duties makes you appealing, too. And I say that as a woman your age, who makes $300K.

[Anonymous]

$200k is a great salary for a true partner. It’s just okay for a man who is going to offload all the domestic work/mental labor onto his wife. Sadly OP doesn’t really know which he will be. Lots of men go into marriage with the best intentions and then do a crappy job when push comes to shove.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$200k is a great salary for a true partner. It’s just okay for a man who is going to offload all the domestic work/mental labor onto his wife. Sadly OP doesn’t really know which he will be. Lots of men go into marriage with the best intentions and then do a crappy job when push comes to shove.

Many women don’t know what kind of wife and mother they will be. Some moms are not very involved in parenting or would say they want to work and then quit their jobs. OP is right that he can’t answer about kids until he has them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$200k is a great salary for a true partner. It’s just okay for a man who is going to offload all the domestic work/mental labor onto his wife. Sadly OP doesn’t really know which he will be. Lots of men go into marriage with the best intentions and then do a crappy job when push comes to shove.

OP here. I will be an equal partner. I grew up with parents who were amazing role models. They have been happily married for 40+ years and were true partners with working and raising us. My dad taught us the importance of being self-sufficient and that housework was not only a woman’s job. I have carried those same values into prior relationships. I love to cook and typically have been the main cook in prior relationships. I’m a very clean person and I keep things clean. I don’t know how it will go in terms of parenting, but I will be an equal partner when I’m comes to housework and being involved with raising kids.

[Anonymous]

Neve get married. There is no value for men to get married these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200k is a great salary for a true partner. It’s just okay for a man who is going to offload all the domestic work/mental labor onto his wife. Sadly OP doesn’t really know which he will be. Lots of men go into marriage with the best intentions and then do a crappy job when push comes to shove.

OP here. I will be an equal partner. I grew up with parents who were amazing role models. They have been happily married for 40+ years and were true partners with working and raising us. My dad taught us the importance of being self-sufficient and that housework was not only a woman’s job. I have carried those same values into prior relationships. I love to cook and typically have been the main cook in prior relationships. I’m a very clean person and I keep things clean. I don’t know how it will go in terms of parenting, but I will be an equal partner when I’m comes to housework and being involved with raising kids.

You’ll be fine, then. $200k is perfect for a dual income couple. It usually means you will not be asked to do extreme things for your job, such as travel, be available on weekends, do tons of overtime, or never take time off. Being able to cook well and keep a space tidy is a huge plus. The women who are looking to SAH on a partner’s income generally have a partner who doesn’t lift a finger around the house, they expect to do everything. Women who make $100k+ would expect someone like you — respectable income, solid background, willing to be an equal partner on the home front. I think if you go in expecting that kind of partnership you will be a catch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neve get married. There is no value for men to get married these days.

Most men get far more from previous generations thanks to the two-income household trend. OP probably can’t afford surrogates ($100k cash per child) and single parenthood with a full time nanny, so seems like he is especially better off with a wife since he wants kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200k is a great salary for a true partner. It’s just okay for a man who is going to offload all the domestic work/mental labor onto his wife. Sadly OP doesn’t really know which he will be. Lots of men go into marriage with the best intentions and then do a crappy job when push comes to shove.

OP here. I will be an equal partner. I grew up with parents who were amazing role models. They have been happily married for 40+ years and were true partners with working and raising us. My dad taught us the importance of being self-sufficient and that housework was not only a woman’s job. I have carried those same values into prior relationships. I love to cook and typically have been the main cook in prior relationships. I’m a very clean person and I keep things clean. I don’t know how it will go in terms of parenting, but I will be an equal partner when I’m comes to housework and being involved with raising kids.

You’ll be fine, then. $200k is perfect for a dual income couple. It usually means you will not be asked to do extreme things for your job, such as travel, be available on weekends, do tons of overtime, or never take time off. Being able to cook well and keep a space tidy is a huge plus. The women who are looking to SAH on a partner’s income generally have a partner who doesn’t lift a finger around the house, they expect to do everything. Women who make $100k+ would expect someone like you — respectable income, solid background, willing to be an equal partner on the home front. I think if you go in expecting that kind of partnership you will be a catch!

+1. While you want to stay humble, you would be considered a catch for a lot of women. Likes to cook, self-sufficient, unproblematic family, owns property and not living outside means, good salary with family friendly hours, and honestly looking for an equal partner - yes, you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

I'm a senior loan officer for a well known bank in DC. Extremely few people actually gross more than 250k. Couples, yes, individuals, no.

[Anonymous]

* and I've made 400k the last two years thnaks to all of you refinancing!

But it won't lst. Feast and famine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neve get married. There is no value for men to get married these days.

True. But, what's the value for women to get married these days?