I want a month break from spouse. How to approach?

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't your spouse go to the home solo for one week? When spouse returns, you go there solo for a week. That gives you 2 weeks apart with minimal disruption to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by your child being very independent?
Your place is at home with the child you brought into this world.

It means OP has neglected the kid for their entire life, so kid has learned to not rely on OP or try to engage with them. Good, involved parents don't up and leave their kids for a month because they want to shack up with an AP for a month to "help" them figure out if they want to be part of they family.

[Anonymous]

Why is anyone giving OP helpful advice? OP is a lousy parent and probably a lousy spouse. OP has already checked out on her/his family. Abandonment just makes it obvious to family court, which is what should happen, ideally.

[Anonymous]

I’m amazed that it’s not the SAHP that wants a month long break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m amazed that it’s not the SAHP that wants a month long break.

I’m guessing part of the marital problems are due to the perceived work inequities not child care inequities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't your spouse go to the home solo for one week? When spouse returns, you go there solo for a week. That gives you 2 weeks apart with minimal disruption to your kid.

That's what I was thinking. Let your spouse take a week away. Without you. Without kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would change the locks on you. If you go, go for good. You'll never be able to turn that ship back around if you feel you need a month break. It's over. Don't kid yourself.

Perhaps that's what's best.

+1 seriously! Abandoning your child over marriage issues. Go to a therapy like a normal person. You should not have children if this is how selfish you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amazed that it’s not the SAHP that wants a month long break.

I’m guessing part of the marital problems are due to the perceived work inequities not child care inequities.

The fact that OP says she (he?) can leave for a month because she can work remotely and she doesn’t have to worry about her child for a month because her spouse stays home and has no responsibility other than childcare says otherwise. It’s pretty clear that OP doesn’t feel that childcare is her responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m amazed that it’s not the SAHP that wants a month long break.

I’m guessing part of the marital problems are due to the perceived work inequities not child care inequities.

The fact that OP says she (he?) can leave for a month because she can work remotely and she doesn’t have to worry about her child for a month because her spouse stays home and has no responsibility other than childcare says otherwise. It’s pretty clear that OP doesn’t feel that childcare is her responsibility.

I’m.. wouldn’t that be a problem in the marriage? Perhaps a reason that spouse is maybe not as enamoured with OP as they are with themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a stay at home parent. Doesn't work.

Then you need to grow up and address the issues. Get counseling, but you don't get to go MIA because boo hoo you need a break.

[Anonymous]

This is why you don’t buy a weekend house, folks, way too easy for an entitled spouse to just go there and leave you as a single parent without actually being a single parent, meaning you’re legally and financially on the hook for whatever happens at the family weekend house that you don’t get to enjoy.
Leave all you want, op, just don’t expect to be married when the month is over. If you do manage to stay married, plan on your spouse insisting that the weekend house be sold. No way would I want to go to a place where my husband spent time.. to get away from me. It would be too emotionally painful.

[Anonymous]

OP- this is going to totally mess you kid up. Either do this the right way or don’t do it at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don’t you let your spouse go find themselves at the weekend house for a month first, then you can go and make the decision it sounds like you’ve already made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% use it as constructive abandonment. I would call my lawyer, change the locks on the doors, and file for emergency custody. You don’t sound very smart, OP.

Yep. I have a relative who did something like this and his wife changed the locks and the judge considered him to have abandoned the family.

NP here. This happened to my cousin. He went on a work trip and came home to his wife having left and moved into a sublet apartment. The judge considered her to have abandoned the family and the marital home. She got screwed in the divorce settlement and my cousin (the father) got primary physical custody and the ex-wife lost claim to the marital home. This was in Virginia about 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a stay at home parent. Doesn't work.

Then you need to grow up and address the issues. Get counseling, but you don't get to go MIA because boo hoo you need a break.

FYI being a SAH can be WAY more difficult than time in the office. Going to the office was my time off when my kids were little.