I want a month break from spouse. How to approach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to take care of the child?

That would be my first question too. Sorry, sounds like you are abandoning both. Why can you not decide what to do in the same household as spouse?

My spouse is a stay at home parent. Does not work and does not have any other responsibilities outside of being a stay at home parent.

But you still have a responsibility as a parent of your child too.

[Anonymous]

If you weren’t so wrong-headed about your parental responsibilities, I’d be on your side.

As it is, you’re so, so, so, in the wrong. A real loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, what are you going to do with your 9 year old? Leave them with dad? What are you going to tell them? I think the abandonment issues are going to be your child’s not your husband’s.

I would never voluntarily leave my child for a month before possibly blowing up their lives completely with a divorce. This just seems like you guys should spend some time in therapy deciding whether to stay together, not put your kid through that. But that’s just me.

Why do you assume a woman wrote this?

[Anonymous]

If the vacation home is an hour away I'd at least bring the child there to spend weekends with you so you get time together. Maybe the SAHP can drive them out there so you get them Friday after work (can you flex schedule to start earlier and end earlier) and you bring the child back Sunday night?

[Anonymous]

Well that is not going to look good to a judge.

[Anonymous]

Will this idea be a shock for the sah spouse?
Maybe he/she feels the same.
Why don't you talk about it instead of announcing it.
He/she nay think some time apart is a good idea and my be the one who would like to get away.
Why do you get to make all the decisions?

[Anonymous]

I would 100% use it as constructive abandonment. I would call my lawyer, change the locks on the doors, and file for emergency custody. You don’t sound very smart, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you expect your child to just be fine not seeing you for a month?

That was my first questions. I don’t care how to structure it; if you walk away from your kid for a month just because you’re unhappy with your spouse, you run a serious risk of losing joint custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you expect your child to just be fine not seeing you for a month?

That was my first questions. I don’t care how to structure it; if you walk away from your kid for a month just because you’re unhappy with your spouse, you run a serious risk of losing joint custody.

Do you really think that Op is the type of person that would care about joint custody?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you expect your child to just be fine not seeing you for a month?

That was my first questions. I don’t care how to structure it; if you walk away from your kid for a month just because you’re unhappy with your spouse, you run a serious risk of losing joint custody.

Do you really think that Op is the type of person that would care about joint custody?!?

Limited visitation time will mean paying a lot more in child support, so I suspect OP would care. Not necessarily about the kid, but about the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the vacation home is an hour away I'd at least bring the child there to spend weekends with you so you get time together. Maybe the SAHP can drive them out there so you get them Friday after work (can you flex schedule to start earlier and end earlier) and you bring the child back Sunday night?

Agree. You take kid Friday-Sunday. This is how it will work if you actually get a divorce later on anyway. But, the fact that you didn't think about this already makes me think that you don't help your spouse out much at all with childcare. Just because someone is a SAHP, doesn't mean they are responsible 24 hours a day for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what are you going to do with your 9 year old? Leave them with dad? What are you going to tell them? I think the abandonment issues are going to be your child’s not your husband’s.

I would never voluntarily leave my child for a month before possibly blowing up their lives completely with a divorce. This just seems like you guys should spend some time in therapy deciding whether to stay together, not put your kid through that. But that’s just me.

Why do you assume a woman wrote this?

Are you assuming it’s a man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% use it as constructive abandonment. I would call my lawyer, change the locks on the doors, and file for emergency custody. You don’t sound very smart, OP.

Yep. I have a relative who did something like this and his wife changed the locks and the judge considered him to have abandoned the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what are you going to do with your 9 year old? Leave them with dad? What are you going to tell them? I think the abandonment issues are going to be your child’s not your husband’s.

I would never voluntarily leave my child for a month before possibly blowing up their lives completely with a divorce. This just seems like you guys should spend some time in therapy deciding whether to stay together, not put your kid through that. But that’s just me.

Why do you assume a woman wrote this?

I did as well because OP wires like a woman and her spouse is a stay at home parent.

[Anonymous]

Also assuming it is a woman because women are the ones who need breaks from their marriages. And who are the ones who want to leave their spouses.