I want a month break from spouse. How to approach?

[Anonymous]

My spouse and I have had a tough going for the last 5-6 years. We have one child who's nine and very independent. Recently, our marriage has come to the point where I need a break. To get away and think about next steps. Meaning to stay or file for separation. We have a weekend home an hour away so I would go there. I can work remotely so that wouldn't be an issue. How do I bring this up without my spouse turning it against me as "abandonment"?

There is plenty of money to pay for bills, food, etc.

[Anonymous]

Who’s going to take care of the child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to take care of the child?

That would be my first question too. Sorry, sounds like you are abandoning both. Why can you not decide what to do in the same household as spouse?

[Anonymous]

My spouse is a stay at home parent. Doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

I would change the locks on you. If you go, go for good. You'll never be able to turn that ship back around if you feel you need a month break. It's over. Don't kid yourself.

[Anonymous]

Well, what are you going to do with your 9 year old? Leave them with dad? What are you going to tell them? I think the abandonment issues are going to be your child’s not your husband’s.

I would never voluntarily leave my child for a month before possibly blowing up their lives completely with a divorce. This just seems like you guys should spend some time in therapy deciding whether to stay together, not put your kid through that. But that’s just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to take care of the child?

That would be my first question too. Sorry, sounds like you are abandoning both. Why can you not decide what to do in the same household as spouse?

My spouse is a stay at home parent. Does not work and does not have any other responsibilities outside of being a stay at home parent.

[Anonymous]

Can you do a weekend instead of a month? A month is hugely long to be away from a 9 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would change the locks on you. If you go, go for good. You'll never be able to turn that ship back around if you feel you need a month break. It's over. Don't kid yourself.

Perhaps that's what's best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would change the locks on you. If you go, go for good. You'll never be able to turn that ship back around if you feel you need a month break. It's over. Don't kid yourself.

Considering the spouse is a stay at home "parent" good luck getting money if you "change the locks" .

[Anonymous]

You are abandoning your child. That’s not fair to your spouse. Sahp does not mean indentured servant. Get a hotel room if necessary but you need to show up for your kid for dinners/breakfasts/weekends. Otherwise you risk losing custody and while tour ‘independent’ child seems to mean little to you you will probably care how much that $$$.

[Anonymous]

So you expect your child to just be fine not seeing you for a month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to take care of the child?

That would be my first question too. Sorry, sounds like you are abandoning both. Why can you not decide what to do in the same household as spouse?

My spouse is a stay at home parent. Does not work and does not have any other responsibilities outside of being a stay at home parent.

Wow. So they deserve to be left with a confused kid missing their other parent? I think you should just do your spouse a favor and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would change the locks on you. If you go, go for good. You'll never be able to turn that ship back around if you feel you need a month break. It's over. Don't kid yourself.

Considering the spouse is a stay at home "parent" good luck getting money if you "change the locks" .

The spouse would be well compensated in this scenario, idiot. Don’t abandon your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would change the locks on you. If you go, go for good. You'll never be able to turn that ship back around if you feel you need a month break. It's over. Don't kid yourself.

Considering the spouse is a stay at home "parent" good luck getting money if you "change the locks" .

So what, OP is also going to turn off the credit cards? That’s gonna look real good in the divorce proceedings.