55 y.o. Female - no desire to date, what’s my problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

NP I do not understand why those prefer to alone have the sole voice of truth or authenticity.

She is not in a position to understand even remotely what it feels like to be in the situation of the OP, or single people in their 50s who are wondering about their desire to date. She's a happily married grandmother in her 60s. Might as well have the 20-year-old sorority girls chime in too, then?

Maybe it helps to have the perspective of someone older who sees the benefit of a relationship, versus just all the bitter divorcees who show up in force on every thread?

[Anonymous]

I’m 52 and divorced. I love having fantastic sex with boyfriend who is seven years younger. We don’t live together or ever plan on getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

NP I do not understand why those prefer to alone have the sole voice of truth or authenticity.

She is not in a position to understand even remotely what it feels like to be in the situation of the OP, or single people in their 50s who are wondering about their desire to date. She's a happily married grandmother in her 60s. Might as well have the 20-year-old sorority girls chime in too, then?

Maybe it helps to have the perspective of someone older who sees the benefit of a relationship, versus just all the bitter divorcees who show up in force on every thread?

Because, as somebody her age, with friends her age we listen to her real truth after a glass of wine or 5. She needs to cling to this “fantasy” of happy ever after with a “companion”. Because it’s really all she has. She also is miserable 1/2 the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Old bitters”

File next to: cat lady. Fat. Dried up. Crazy.

Yawn.

Hey, only 2 rules in my house:

-cats are people
-no bad vibes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

NP I do not understand why those prefer to alone have the sole voice of truth or authenticity.

She is not in a position to understand even remotely what it feels like to be in the situation of the OP, or single people in their 50s who are wondering about their desire to date. She's a happily married grandmother in her 60s. Might as well have the 20-year-old sorority girls chime in too, then?

Maybe it helps to have the perspective of someone older who sees the benefit of a relationship, versus just all the bitter divorcees who show up in force on every thread?

Why are you labeling divorcees bitter? They don't sound bitter. They sound happier without men in their life because it was not a good experience overall or worth it. They are not "bitter" because they don't see the value in a serious commitment with a man longterm or anymore. That is not being bitter. You just don't get it because you have not had their experience. They are not "bitter."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 52 and divorced. I love having fantastic sex with boyfriend who is seven years younger. We don’t live together or ever plan on getting married.

And I think this is fantastic...to you other posters...this is not bitter at all. It is just a diffent way of being happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

NP I do not understand why those prefer to alone have the sole voice of truth or authenticity.

She is not in a position to understand even remotely what it feels like to be in the situation of the OP, or single people in their 50s who are wondering about their desire to date. She's a happily married grandmother in her 60s. Might as well have the 20-year-old sorority girls chime in too, then?

Maybe it helps to have the perspective of someone older who sees the benefit of a relationship, versus just all the bitter divorcees who show up in force on every thread?

Why are you labeling divorcees bitter? They don't sound bitter. They sound happier without men in their life because it was not a good experience overall or worth it. They are not "bitter" because they don't see the value in a serious commitment with a man longterm or anymore. That is not being bitter. You just don't get it because you have not had their experience. They are not "bitter."

They don’t appear to be able accept someone else’s experience which is different to their own and they are intensely negative ie ….. bitter

[Anonymous]

I stopped dating in my late thirties. Late forties now. Life is good, I’m happy, no drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

NP I do not understand why those prefer to alone have the sole voice of truth or authenticity.

She is not in a position to understand even remotely what it feels like to be in the situation of the OP, or single people in their 50s who are wondering about their desire to date. She's a happily married grandmother in her 60s. Might as well have the 20-year-old sorority girls chime in too, then?

Maybe it helps to have the perspective of someone older who sees the benefit of a relationship, versus just all the bitter divorcees who show up in force on every thread?

Why are you labeling divorcees bitter? They don't sound bitter. They sound happier without men in their life because it was not a good experience overall or worth it. They are not "bitter" because they don't see the value in a serious commitment with a man longterm or anymore. That is not being bitter. You just don't get it because you have not had their experience. They are not "bitter."

They don’t appear to be able accept someone else’s experience which is different to their own and they are intensely negative ie ….. bitter

They accept it for your life…not theirs, which does not mean bitterness or negativity. you do not understand that your experiences are not the same. No one is calling you bitter. They are not intensely negative at all. Your experience does not apply is not negative…it is accurate. You call them bitter because you can’t comprehend them being at peace with their life without being defined by marriage. That is not them being bitter.

[Anonymous]

Same.

—- 53 year old single mom by choice

[Anonymous]

OP here, well at least I’m not alone! I’d like to clarify that I’m not bitter or anti-man. I’m just over the dating game and have lost my libido…..doesn’t mean I’m anti-man. I personally have a lot of stress in my life right now, so perhaps that has something to do with it? But, I do find dating exhausting and really don’t think I’ll ever go back to the whole dating app thing. If I meet someone by chance then who knows…..but the actual dating game is awful.never again! And as far as a FWB, casual sex……been there, done that. I feel that at a point that’s unfulfilling too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, well at least I’m not alone! I’d like to clarify that I’m not bitter or anti-man. I’m just over the dating game and have lost my libido…..doesn’t mean I’m anti-man. I personally have a lot of stress in my life right now, so perhaps that has something to do with it? But, I do find dating exhausting and really don’t think I’ll ever go back to the whole dating app thing. If I meet someone by chance then who knows…..but the actual dating game is awful.never again! And as far as a FWB, casual sex……been there, done that. I feel that at a point that’s unfulfilling too.

Consider maybe you aren’t actually having any “good” sex? I certainly won’t be giving that up any time soon!

[Anonymous]

This is one of the reasons men date younger. Once you hit 50+, it's harder to find women your own age that was sex and adventure. I have a close female friend and she feels similarly to OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm 56 and felt like you in my late 40s, early 50s. Then I met a younger man! He's mid 40s and he has so much more energy than the guys I was dating. Wants to go out and do things, and expands my circle of friends. Look younger or just keep an eye out while you're living your life. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

NP I do not understand why those prefer to alone have the sole voice of truth or authenticity.

She is not in a position to understand even remotely what it feels like to be in the situation of the OP, or single people in their 50s who are wondering about their desire to date. She's a happily married grandmother in her 60s. Might as well have the 20-year-old sorority girls chime in too, then?

Maybe it helps to have the perspective of someone older who sees the benefit of a relationship, versus just all the bitter divorcees who show up in force on every thread?

Why are you labeling divorcees bitter? They don't sound bitter. They sound happier without men in their life because it was not a good experience overall or worth it. They are not "bitter" because they don't see the value in a serious commitment with a man longterm or anymore. That is not being bitter. You just don't get it because you have not had their experience. They are not "bitter."

Look at the quotes above! There are so many bitter comments to one post talking about the upside of romantic relationships later in life, posted by someone older than the OP. The angry reaction was totally ridiculous.