55 y.o. Female - no desire to date, what’s my problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

Classic male DARVO response.
Man does bad thing. Blame his mother for raising him. Blame his wife for marrying him.

Classic female behavior. Complain and blame, complain and blame.

I don’t have anything to complain about.
But I do find it telling that when a woman complains about an awful husband, the male reaction on here is “you married the loser!”
Do you say that in cases where a man beats his wife? “Well, she was stupid to marry him”. Men not being awful never seems to be an option, but it’s women’s responsibility to know in advance that he might turn into a monster. Very “boys will be boys”.

I think it is mostly women who say "you married the loser!" And I think a lot of people don't really believe that the complainer is without fault in the dysfunctional relationship. it's always weird to read these screeds against how horrible some husband, or ex-husband, is, and how the poster is this victim. Like didn't you date and then choose to marry this person? Is the husband really that bad? Or do you just have a bad relationship, in which you play a role?

Emotional abusers do not show their true colors until they have you trapped. Everything comes out after marriage. You can’t use this logic in those situations.

Yes. In a former career I sold home services and we always met with the DH and DW. Man …so many of the women were verbally and emotionally abusive to their DH. It was so uncomfortable to be in the same room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

So the fact that there are some women out there who you don't find attractive was enough to turn you into a misogynist? Wow. 😮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the angry incel here would be a real force in the state of nature. Probably short and weak, as so many frustrated guys are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the angry incel here would be a real force in the state of nature. Probably short and weak, as so many frustrated guys are.

This sounds like the fat feminist lawyer who loves the word incel and keeps posting her man hate everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

Classic male DARVO response.
Man does bad thing. Blame his mother for raising him. Blame his wife for marrying him.

Classic female behavior. Complain and blame, complain and blame.

I don’t have anything to complain about.
But I do find it telling that when a woman complains about an awful husband, the male reaction on here is “you married the loser!”
Do you say that in cases where a man beats his wife? “Well, she was stupid to marry him”. Men not being awful never seems to be an option, but it’s women’s responsibility to know in advance that he might turn into a monster. Very “boys will be boys”.

If you marry a man who is awful, yeah you have to take responsibility for choosing poorly. The guy did not turn into a monster. The signs were there, you didn’t see them or ignored them, and that’s on you.

On DCUM it is rarely a wife beater who is the problem. It’s usually women whining about how their DH is lazy, boring, incompetent, and refuses to listen to their “gentle suggestions” (incessant nagging). You chose that guy, too. What mostly changed about him is that he learned FROM YOU to be that way. As nothing he ever did satisfied you, he gave up trying.

Also, a lot of people change when they marry. Maybe physical violence isn't an issue you see a lot on DCUM, but it's not like all battered wives were battered girlfriends first. Abusive men are smarter than that.

The bold is so true. If abusive men were abusive from the get go, they would never be able to abuse. Abusive men groom women just like pedophiles groom their victims. The abuser is very engaging, charming and attentive in the beginning. Only when the woman is firmly on the hook (after I love yous, becoming a couple, engagement, moving in or marriage), does the abuser begin to test boundaries in subtle ways, slowly upping the boundary testing, and including cycles of tension-building, conflict and making up. Our culture encourages women to stay in relationships even despite difficulties by telling us that relationships are hard, and take work and require compromise. The subtle boundary testing is difficult to differentiate from normal disagreement. Often it takes years to come to a place where abuse really starts and by that time women are often tied down financially, with kids and poor career opportunity.

Women do not choose abusers. The abuser chooses us. In my case, it was only after a solid year of slerious sleuthing that I was able to uncover my exDH’s cheating and the web of lies he constructed to cover up things.

You again? For the millionth time, cheating is not "abuse" in the sense that anyone uses that word, so stop trying to play that card. And yes, affairs are almost always hidden, abuse less so, but it does happen. And you are right about the boundary testing and all that.

The extra-marital sex aside, the behavior the perpetrator engages in to accomplish it and keep it secret is definitely abusive - disorienting lies, manipulation, gaslighting, DARVO tactics, verbal denigration, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the angry incel here would be a real force in the state of nature. Probably short and weak, as so many frustrated guys are.

No. I'm tall, good-looking, have banged at least 50 women, and was married for a long time. I'm a natural leader with a high net worth. I've also lived outside of the US and I've noticed that young, attractive, obnoxious women are sometimes tolerated, but old, unattractive and obnoxious women with short hair are not tolerated in traditional societies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the angry incel here would be a real force in the state of nature. Probably short and weak, as so many frustrated guys are.

No. I'm tall, good-looking, have banged at least 50 women, and was married for a long time. I'm a natural leader with a high net worth. I've also lived outside of the US and I've noticed that young, attractive, obnoxious women are sometimes tolerated, but old, unattractive and obnoxious women with short hair are not tolerated in traditional societies.

LOL. What a crock. Tall, good looking men are not as angry at women as you are. Gimme a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the angry incel here would be a real force in the state of nature. Probably short and weak, as so many frustrated guys are.

No. I'm tall, good-looking, have banged at least 50 women, and was married for a long time. I'm a natural leader with a high net worth. I've also lived outside of the US and I've noticed that young, attractive, obnoxious women are sometimes tolerated, but old, unattractive and obnoxious women with short hair are not tolerated in traditional societies.

LOL. What a crock. Tall, good looking men are not as angry at women as you are. Gimme a break.

NP whenever a man on DCUM says something a woman disagrees with, she immediately accuses him of being an angry, bitter, and misogynistic incel. Gimme a break. Try harder, women of DCUM, your insults are weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

I'm not angry, just annoyed. Annoyed that a fat, purple-haired, cat-ranching, HR Karen thinks she is entitled to my attention, or that her opinions should carry any weight in society. She is a loser. In Hobbes' state of nature, she'd be the first one put into the cook pot.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the angry incel here would be a real force in the state of nature. Probably short and weak, as so many frustrated guys are.

No. I'm tall, good-looking, have banged at least 50 women, and was married for a long time. I'm a natural leader with a high net worth. I've also lived outside of the US and I've noticed that young, attractive, obnoxious women are sometimes tolerated, but old, unattractive and obnoxious women with short hair are not tolerated in traditional societies.

LOL. What a crock. Tall, good looking men are not as angry at women as you are. Gimme a break.

Not angry, just annoyed. I don't hate dumpster fires, but their smell and the air pollution they cause is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Who says that just because you choose to be single this is what you’ll end up doing? That’s a little close minded and being stereotypical.