55 y.o. Female - no desire to date, what’s my problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Wrong. The middle aged divorced women I know have very active and fulfilling lives. They are world travelers, they spend time with children and grandchildren, they create wonderful art, they paint masterpieces, they design beautiful jewelry, they are active in politics, they start new businesses, they are very, very successful!

It’s amazing how many happily single women find the time to constantly post on a relationship forum how happy they are, you know, not doing relationships. As if they can’t stand the idea that someone else might succeed where they haven’t. Go be single.

This is PP. I never said I was happily single. I said the middle-aged divorced women I know are happily single!

I know a few happily single women who then are happily not single - not married but happily not single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

+1

I'm 38 and I feel this so much. My husband is absolutely my 4th child. Only, if he were my child he wouldn't have turned out to be such a pig. My MIL can be credited for that. I have no desire to sleep with or vacation with an overgrown toddler that is ego-driven and controlling.

So why did you marry him? What a weird thing to blame everyone else for the major dysfunction in your life.

[Anonymous]

57 F. Not interested in marriage, but like sex and companionship for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

Classic male DARVO response.
Man does bad thing. Blame his mother for raising him. Blame his wife for marrying him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and you can tell its angry incel men who dont get much sex by the comments. You men want us to want you, need us to need you, and hate us when we don't. Seething insecurity!

Gee who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a lovely person like you? 🙄🙄🙄

Cats won't mind so long as they feed them.

[Anonymous]

I'm a male and married, and I definitely feel I can relate. If/when I divorce, I don't think I would be that keen to marry again. I have kids and grandkids, cousins, siblings to get together with on holidays and celebrate life events and call on when in need. It might be nice to go on dates and have sex occasionally, but I don't think I need to be married for that. Indeed, given my current marriage is a dead bedroom, marriage is no guarantee of sex either!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

Classic male DARVO response.
Man does bad thing. Blame his mother for raising him. Blame his wife for marrying him.

Yeah, geez, doesn’t this guy know that in this forum, the rule is that the man is to blame for any marital, relationship, or sexual problem that may arise, no matter what the woman involved may or may not have done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The dead men are in Heaven banging hot, young women.

These are the spirits of hot, young women, who alas were mortal sinners, and their Hell is to spend all eternity banging the spirits of old men...

OMG This is so funny! and a classic DCUM response!

I'm thinking how many young women are there in heaven since women tend to live longer than men? No logic on this one but hey if they have sex with lots of young women that makes them happy, good for them. If that's all it takes for them to be happy, life should be so simple for them and wish them well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The dead men are in Heaven banging hot, young women.

These are the spirits of hot, young women, who alas were mortal sinners, and their Hell is to spend all eternity banging the spirits of old men...

OMG This is so funny! and a classic DCUM response!

I'm thinking how many young women are there in heaven since women tend to live longer than men? No logic on this one but hey if they have sex with lots of young women that makes them happy, good for them. If that's all it takes for them to be happy, life should be so simple for them and wish them well!

It's only in the last 100 years that women have outlived men, and only in the West.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The dead men are in Heaven banging hot, young women.

These are the spirits of hot, young women, who alas were mortal sinners, and their Hell is to spend all eternity banging the spirits of old men...

OMG This is so funny! and a classic DCUM response!

I'm thinking how many young women are there in heaven since women tend to live longer than men? No logic on this one but hey if they have sex with lots of young women that makes them happy, good for them. If that's all it takes for them to be happy, life should be so simple for them and wish them well!

It's only in the last 100 years that women have outlived men, and only in the West.

You miss the point but thanks for confirming that is the case currently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I haven't read through the thread at all! I'm just here to say- Girl you are SMART! Last thing you need now is a middle aged male paperweight. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, free of that stress!

And what a rich, fulfilling life it will be! Cats. Knitting. Bingo. Prevention magazine. Murder, She Wrote reruns. Brooding about ancient grievances.

Oh, ok you're right. I'd rather clean up an old man's mess at the table, do all his laundry, listen to him snore and claim 'I don't snore', watch him watch Fox news all day and complain complain complain...thanks for setting me on the right track!

NP and am a married woman. Why do men who are angry at women on this board respond to women with with cats, knitting, fat in their responses? At that point, it's just an attack and not a real response. BTW, if those things make someone happy, why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know any women over 50--single, divorced, widowed--who have any interest whatsoever in being (re)married. Some are interested in dating, but not many.

Only true if they have kids.

True. My childfree friend got married 1st time at 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

Classic male DARVO response.
Man does bad thing. Blame his mother for raising him. Blame his wife for marrying him.

Classic female behavior. Complain and blame, complain and blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a fun read! I’d love to see all the man haters meet and then be a fly on the wall and just listen in. The stories! The misery! Please keep in mind that for those of you who got divorced or are in a crappy marriage….YOU MARRIED THE LOSER! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING?

Good question! No answers so far!

Classic male DARVO response.
Man does bad thing. Blame his mother for raising him. Blame his wife for marrying him.

Classic female behavior. Complain and blame, complain and blame.

I don’t have anything to complain about.
But I do find it telling that when a woman complains about an awful husband, the male reaction on here is “you married the loser!”
Do you say that in cases where a man beats his wife? “Well, she was stupid to marry him”. Men not being awful never seems to be an option, but it’s women’s responsibility to know in advance that he might turn into a monster. Very “boys will be boys”.