55 y.o. Female - no desire to date, what’s my problem

[Anonymous]

This is definitely hormonal. Are you on any menopause hormonal therapy? Any testosterone cream?

It may be a good idea to read more about menopause. There are good books out there and probably some podcasts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

My uncle is 80, and keeps a stable of about four girlfriends at a time. Those women are always pressuring him to get married.

A friend retired and moved to the Villages. He said whenever a single man moves in there, a dozen old ladies all pounce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55 year young female, who is totally over the dating game and sex, and have zero desire to ever do either again. What the heck is my issue? I did go through menopause…….maybe that destroyed my desire? I did the online dAting thing……nothing but trouble and disappointment there. But, I’ve lost my desire to even have a life partner. I’m over it. Which I think is sad.

Anyone else go through this phase?

I totally understand and I think it's normal. I'm not there yet but I can see it happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

My uncle is 80, and keeps a stable of about four girlfriends at a time. Those women are always pressuring him to get married.

A friend retired and moved to the Villages. He said whenever a single man moves in there, a dozen old ladies all pounce.

Yes, in retirement communities and assisted living facilities there are like 12 women for every man. Because the rest of the men are dead already. Which is pretty depressing, if you're a man.

[Anonymous]

Reasons to be concerned about yourself-
-depression
-social isolation that harms you (
-some other mental health variant, or even just simple
loneliness

Reasons not to worry-
-You have a good (or good enough…) life and have noticed you don’t miss men and all of the associated ups/downs.

I am not in menopause yet at 46 but I certainly am not in the mood for men, after divorce, working, elderly parents etc. maybe I will eventually like the 90 year old who wrote and book and earned a doctorate. Your feelings might be permanent or they might be passing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely hormonal. Are you on any menopause hormonal therapy? Any testosterone cream?

It may be a good idea to read more about menopause. There are good books out there and probably some podcasts.

I am a PP and I don’t think it’s hormonal at all; I think it’s maturity.

[Anonymous]

As with most things, it's not a problem unless it's a problem.

I would just enjoy your other relationships, maybe stay open to the possibility that you'll meet someone at work or socially, but no need to put yourself through the online dating ringer if you're not enjoying it.

Honestly, I'm amazed that couples manage to get together later in life. At that point, you are so set in your ways and you don't care what people think. It's hard to imagine making the compromises and accommodations needed to be in a marriage (or marriage-type) relationship, with someone who is equally set in their ways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

My uncle is 80, and keeps a stable of about four girlfriends at a time. Those women are always pressuring him to get married.

A friend retired and moved to the Villages. He said whenever a single man moves in there, a dozen old ladies all pounce.

Yes, in retirement communities and assisted living facilities there are like 12 women for every man. Because the rest of the men are dead already. Which is pretty depressing, if you're a man.

It's not depressing at all. The dead men are in Heaven banging hot, young women.

[Anonymous]

I’m 58 and I have no desire to remarry but I do enjoy companionship and sex and I met a guy my age who shares that perspective. It’s unclear if he’s a BF or FWB but we have a good time with NSA. We get together a couple of times a week and he’s a great travel companion. I love to travel but I don’t like to do it alone or with a GF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely hormonal. Are you on any menopause hormonal therapy? Any testosterone cream?

It may be a good idea to read more about menopause. There are good books out there and probably some podcasts.

I am a PP and I don’t think it’s hormonal at all; I think it’s maturity.

Do you know what happens to the cis-female brain and body during and after menopause?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely hormonal. Are you on any menopause hormonal therapy? Any testosterone cream?

It may be a good idea to read more about menopause. There are good books out there and probably some podcasts.

I am a PP and I don’t think it’s hormonal at all; I think it’s maturity.

Do you know what happens to the cis-female brain and body during and after menopause?

It is like waking up from a coma.

[Anonymous]

Given the general consensus on DCUM that men are lazy, incompetent, and untrustworthy, how can anyone say it's a bad thing when you're finally not interested in them anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the general consensus on DCUM that men are lazy, incompetent, and untrustworthy, how can anyone say it's a bad thing when you're finally not interested in them anymore?

BC is is also the end of sex.

[Anonymous]

I’m in my 60’s and I adore my husband and we still have a very good sex life. But I can understand not wanting to start over with someone else as I think there is more downside than upside. I can’t imagine finding someone equal or better. I have three children and 10 grandchildren who give me the love I need and I have a very busy life separate from my married life. Sex? I really enjoy it because it’s a wonderful connection with my husband but it isn’t an itch that needs to be scratched absent my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

My uncle is 80, and keeps a stable of about four girlfriends at a time. Those women are always pressuring him to get married.

A friend retired and moved to the Villages. He said whenever a single man moves in there, a dozen old ladies all pounce.

My moms is 90 and just got a “boyfriend” which means they watch Wheel of Fortune together every night.

Nobody is pouncing but loneliness sucks so now they have a regular “date”.