SIL Said My Parenting Is “ Cold”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to those people. I sleep trained two kids and they are fine. First at 4 months and second at 8 weeks. One is an infant and one is a toddler. Both sweet angels.

I have a SIL who never sleep trained, did co-sleeping, baby wore. Guess who is always frazzled and has clingy kids vs who is happy? Her kids are so hard to get along with because they do nothing but whine and cry every time we get together. She constantly complains how exhausted she is but refuses to do anything about it. I’m over here very happy. Whenever she gives advice or says things, I just silently laugh and nod along because I know I’m much happier than she even though she thinks what I did was barbaric and cruel.

You have a toddler and an infant. We will see how your kids behave as they grow. I’d hardly call you an expert on motherhood. How long have you been doing this —two and a half years? Take a seat.

PP here. My family has sleep trained all babies for over two decades and they are all fine. Many are high achieving kids and young adults. Most of us were sleep trained. I don’t want to raise kids who can’t cope with life. Too many young “ adults” these days can’t cope with simple things. I want to raise independent kids who don’t need to be coddled. Many attachment parenting people I know have bratty kids who can’t sleep and need to breastfeed every two minutes because they are “ sad”. I will do it my way.

I also want what you want, but I never thought that letting my 8 week old baby cry himself to sleep would achieve that…

You want it, I go it. I just put the work in and you’re still rocking your kid to sleep or putting them on the boob to fall asleep.

You are delusional… my kids were traveling internationally alone at 5 and 6 years old. My kids are the most independent kids in their classes and FYI I only breastfed for 6 months..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to have to grow a thicker skin OP. When it comes to motherhood, your SIL, parents, friends etc are all going to have something to say about every little thing. Be confident in how you are parenting and recognize there are multiple “right” ways to do things. Also realize that you will likely have to rewrite the manual for baby #2.

My only concern with your schedule is how rigid it is and I personally didn’t want to be a slave to my baby’s nap schedule- but if this works best for you then go with it. DS #1 was a super easy baby and would go with the flow. Not so much for baby #2 but I didn’t want to be confined to the house at nap times every day so there were days I’d wear him on errands or I’d drive around a bunch until he fell asleep so that I could get things done.

OP here. It’s a routine but a flexible one. We went off his wake windows. He is only awake for 90 minutes and starts getting tired between 75-90 minutes. We see him start getting tired or the clock and put him down. He gets overtired very fast if we don’t follow the wake windows. We have a 15 minute flexibility window if he doesn’t go right away, he wakes up, or we are doing something. We do try to follow it because he gets overtired fast and then it’s harder to get him to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to those people. I sleep trained two kids and they are fine. First at 4 months and second at 8 weeks. One is an infant and one is a toddler. Both sweet angels.

I have a SIL who never sleep trained, did co-sleeping, baby wore. Guess who is always frazzled and has clingy kids vs who is happy? Her kids are so hard to get along with because they do nothing but whine and cry every time we get together. She constantly complains how exhausted she is but refuses to do anything about it. I’m over here very happy. Whenever she gives advice or says things, I just silently laugh and nod along because I know I’m much happier than she even though she thinks what I did was barbaric and cruel.

You have a toddler and an infant. We will see how your kids behave as they grow. I’d hardly call you an expert on motherhood. How long have you been doing this —two and a half years? Take a seat.

PP here. My family has sleep trained all babies for over two decades and they are all fine. Many are high achieving kids and young adults. Most of us were sleep trained. I don’t want to raise kids who can’t cope with life. Too many young “ adults” these days can’t cope with simple things. I want to raise independent kids who don’t need to be coddled. Many attachment parenting people I know have bratty kids who can’t sleep and need to breastfeed every two minutes because they are “ sad”. I will do it my way.

I also want what you want, but I never thought that letting my 8 week old baby cry himself to sleep would achieve that…

You want it, I go it. I just put the work in and you’re still rocking your kid to sleep or putting them on the boob to fall asleep.

You are delusional… my kids were traveling internationally alone at 5 and 6 years old. My kids are the most independent kids in their classes and FYI I only breastfed for 6 months..

If this is true, you’re a bad mother. I would have turned you into services if I knew you. What kind of parent let’s their kid fly alone at 5 and 6 years old? You sound irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to those people. I sleep trained two kids and they are fine. First at 4 months and second at 8 weeks. One is an infant and one is a toddler. Both sweet angels.

I have a SIL who never sleep trained, did co-sleeping, baby wore. Guess who is always frazzled and has clingy kids vs who is happy? Her kids are so hard to get along with because they do nothing but whine and cry every time we get together. She constantly complains how exhausted she is but refuses to do anything about it. I’m over here very happy. Whenever she gives advice or says things, I just silently laugh and nod along because I know I’m much happier than she even though she thinks what I did was barbaric and cruel.

You have a toddler and an infant. We will see how your kids behave as they grow. I’d hardly call you an expert on motherhood. How long have you been doing this —two and a half years? Take a seat.

PP here. My family has sleep trained all babies for over two decades and they are all fine. Many are high achieving kids and young adults. Most of us were sleep trained. I don’t want to raise kids who can’t cope with life. Too many young “ adults” these days can’t cope with simple things. I want to raise independent kids who don’t need to be coddled. Many attachment parenting people I know have bratty kids who can’t sleep and need to breastfeed every two minutes because they are “ sad”. I will do it my way.

I also want what you want, but I never thought that letting my 8 week old baby cry himself to sleep would achieve that…

You want it, I go it. I just put the work in and you’re still rocking your kid to sleep or putting them on the boob to fall asleep.

You are delusional… my kids were traveling internationally alone at 5 and 6 years old. My kids are the most independent kids in their classes and FYI I only breastfed for 6 months..

You call OP cold mommy but you’re an irresponsible and neglectful parent. There is a difference between an independent kid and just plain dangerous parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are relaying the details? You seem to be asking in a paragraph for us to make a determination? I thought this would be about dealing w/your SIL.

It's possible -- she used 1 unfortunate word not knowing it's impact. And yet you feel victimized + humble brag. I doubt this SIL is your best barometer re: how you parent. Make more friends, friends you can trust with this type of thing.

OP here. Posters asked and I answered. You can not come to my thread if you don’t like it.

NP here. You don’t have to like that we say: you are a cold mother if you let your baby cry at 8 weeks and younger, and never hold for naps.

You don’t have to come back if you don’t like it.

SIL is right: you are cold.

OP here. My baby was held for almost nap for 8 weeks. It was miserable and on all of us and we found something that works for us. We are all happy and my baby is much more happy now that he is well rested.

You can still get off of my thread.

Backpedal/move those goalposts. You don’t like the feedback so you add details.

Cold Mommy

Your kid is going to one of those college kids who need a “ cry closet”. Your kid will have it hard when they realize the world doesn’t revolve around them and no one cares about their feelings if they’re having a bad day.

Not PP you are responding to, but Why do you say this? Why do you tell this mom she will have failed her kids? Why do you stoop to this level? Did PP say your kid will be depressed, will never know how to love and will never want anything to do with you?

I don’t think so… why do you bring this up? Why all sleep training people do this? I don’t see the anti sleep training people doing the same at all

What? All of these anti-sleep training posters on here say horrible things. One said OP shouldn’t have a second kid.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’d have Jeff close your thread. People are mean about CIO, and the wine mommies are probably posting too.

You are fine, your baby is fine. Ignore your SIL

[Anonymous]

I can't quite understand why it's important to you that SIL approves of your parenting.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I’ve been transported back to 2004 and discussions of Babywise. OP, was the class you took at a church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve been transported back to 2004 and discussions of Babywise. OP, was the class you took at a church?

OP here. No. We are not religious and don’t go to church. We took the Taking Cara Babies course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't quite understand why it's important to you that SIL approves of your parenting.

OP here. It’s hurtful. Would you want your close family members to think you were a bad mom?

[Anonymous]

I don’t new to derail the thread but is anyone going to talk about PP posting that she let her 5 and 6 year old travel on international flights alone. How is this oaky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t new to derail the thread but is anyone going to talk about PP posting that she let her 5 and 6 year old travel on international flights alone. How is this oaky?

* okay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't quite understand why it's important to you that SIL approves of your parenting.

OP here. It’s hurtful. Would you want your close family members to think you were a bad mom?

Your take away should be your SIL is rude. You sound like a good mom, don't stress about it. Congrats on your little one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to have to grow a thicker skin OP. When it comes to motherhood, your SIL, parents, friends etc are all going to have something to say about every little thing. Be confident in how you are parenting and recognize there are multiple “right” ways to do things. Also realize that you will likely have to rewrite the manual for baby #2.

My only concern with your schedule is how rigid it is and I personally didn’t want to be a slave to my baby’s nap schedule- but if this works best for you then go with it. DS #1 was a super easy baby and would go with the flow. Not so much for baby #2 but I didn’t want to be confined to the house at nap times every day so there were days I’d wear him on errands or I’d drive around a bunch until he fell asleep so that I could get things done.

OP here. It’s a routine but a flexible one. We went off his wake windows. He is only awake for 90 minutes and starts getting tired between 75-90 minutes. We see him start getting tired or the clock and put him down. He gets overtired very fast if we don’t follow the wake windows. We have a 15 minute flexibility window if he doesn’t go right away, he wakes up, or we are doing something. We do try to follow it because he gets overtired fast and then it’s harder to get him to sleep.

Not sure about cold but you are rigid. As someone who raised a happy kid in a far more unstructured way this seems alien to me. I guess I’d just say lighten up and don’t assume you can control all aspects of parenting

[Anonymous]

How are you able to keep such close track of the time all day long?