SIL Said My Parenting Is “ Cold”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. All of my friends sleep trained at that age.

How are you defining “sleep train”?

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to her. My SIL shamed me because breastfeeding did not work. She called me a “ quitter” more than once. We slept trained at 4 months and she said we were “ cruel”. Funny now that my child is a good sleeper but her kids have never slept through the night, constantly are cranky and whiny, and need to comfort nurse for every little thing. I’m much happier than her.

[Anonymous]

My first kid slept through the night at eight weeks without any CIO. I just nudged her toward an organized day sleep (like after they are up for an hour and a half try getting them down again) and “once the day sleep was organized the night sleep organized itself” just like the book said.

Not all babies do this at eight weeks but some do. That kid is in college now. The other kids were more work to get into a good routine with sleep.

[Anonymous]

Piece of advice for a new mom, learn not to give a shit what other moms say especially the know-it-alls.

[Anonymous]

LOL, I hope you're not planning on having a second child!

[Anonymous]

OP, newsflash: You didn't sleep train your child, YOU GOT LUCKY. Don't expect your second child to be this easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m confused. We don’t let him cry.

So he you just put him down and he sleeps for hours on end?

OP here. No. He takes 3 1.5 hour naps and then a 30 minute nap before bed. He sleeps 11 hours at night with a dream feed.

[Anonymous]

If it works for you guys, that’s great. I had a friend who did sleep training early with all three of her kids and they’re fine. I will say there’s something special about having your baby fall asleep in your arms and it makes me a bit sad for her that she never experienced that. But obviously that wasn’t a thing for her, and like I said, we’re years past that point now and her kids are doing great, so I’d just say you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL, I hope you're not planning on having a second child!

OP here. We plan to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Piece of advice for a new mom, learn not to give a shit what other moms say especially the know-it-alls.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m confused. We don’t let him cry.

That’s not sleep training then. What did you do? What do you mean he is on a “ routine”? How old is he now?

OP here. We took a baby course and that really helped us. He was all over here place before 8 weeks. He was a good sleeper but never predictable with sleep or feeds. We took the class and started implementing sleep and feeding techniques.

- Sleep training. We put him down in his crib when he gets tired and we let him fuss for 3-5 minutes. We put pacifier back in if he’s still then give him 5 minutes each time until he is asleep. We let him cry when he wakes up for 5 minutes to see if he will put himself back to sleep if it’s not time for him to get up.

- We have worked to get him on a good routine. Right now he is on a routine of 7am ( we wake him every morning if not up), feed ( 6oz), nap 8:30-10am, feed (5-6oz), nap 11:30-1pm, feed ( 5-6oz), nap 2:30-4pm, feed ( 5-6oz), nap 5:30-6pm, 7pm ( 6oz), 8pm bedtime, and dream feed at 10pm ( 6oz).

He is 3 months old.

[Anonymous]

Ignore. I never held my kids while they were sleeping. We didn't sleep train specifically but no issue letting them cry a bit to self soothe as that is what they needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think 8 weeks is early to sleep train. But I also know that all kids are different and if your son wasn't screaming his little brains out, maybe he was also ready for it. Regardless, its a cold thing for her to say. Either she thinks you have a very close relationship where you can say anything to each other without causing offense (like you'd tell a best friend that the hair color was not really working for her, or that her new boyfriend was awful)--or she's just clueless about human relationships. If that's the case, I would say something back like "I'm really surprised you'd say something like that. I feel very hurt by the implication that I'm not sufficiently loving to my baby. I know we make different parenting choices and over the years to come, we're sure to agree on some things and disagree about others. I hope we can support each other as sisters even if we feel like we'd make a different choice."

Sleep training seems like such a BFD when your baby is little, but then you get on the whole train of junk food, screen time, dating, skirt length, weed use, study habits, college applications, appropriate friends....and you can't even remember what you DID with sleep training. All that stuff shrinks to nothingness in the rear view mirror.

This was one thing my mom was helpful on -- she had a ton of kids and was super old by the time I had mine, so she was like "eh, whatever -- just love them and they'll grow up fine."

OP here. Thank you for this. We are very close and she does not have much of a filter. I just didn’t think she would say something like that about us. She knows how much we love our son.

Sleep training has worked for us. It was the best choice. We are all getting sleep and happier because of it. My baby used to cranky and wasn’t the best sleeper for the first 8 weeks. Now he is always happy and gets good sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m confused. We don’t let him cry.

That’s not sleep training then. What did you do? What do you mean he is on a “ routine”? How old is he now?

OP here. We took a baby course and that really helped us. He was all over here place before 8 weeks. He was a good sleeper but never predictable with sleep or feeds. We took the class and started implementing sleep and feeding techniques.

- Sleep training. We put him down in his crib when he gets tired and we let him fuss for 3-5 minutes. We put pacifier back in if he’s still then give him 5 minutes each time until he is asleep. We let him cry when he wakes up for 5 minutes to see if he will put himself back to sleep if it’s not time for him to get up.

- We have worked to get him on a good routine. Right now he is on a routine of 7am ( we wake him every morning if not up), feed ( 6oz), nap 8:30-10am, feed (5-6oz), nap 11:30-1pm, feed ( 5-6oz), nap 2:30-4pm, feed ( 5-6oz), nap 5:30-6pm, 7pm ( 6oz), 8pm bedtime, and dream feed at 10pm ( 6oz).

He is 3 months old.

This is a form of sleep training but not CIO. Your baby sounds fine and you do what works for your family.

[Anonymous]

Probably she had a kid who didn’t sleep easily so she thinks you had to be way harsher than you actually were to get your kid on a schedule.

-fellow parent of an unusually easy kid (we didn’t do schedules because I’m not schedule oriented but I both never “sleep trained” the way people talk about here and also never had issues getting my kid to sleep through the night fairly early on)