Disaster coming with brother and fiancé

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your brother is making you bend over backwards for his high maintenance fiancé and stepdaughter.
I wouldn’t vacation with them again. I don’t think you can say anything. He probably wouldn’t wanna hear anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound annoying. There is nothing wrong with asking a younger child to leave the bedroom she is sharing with an older child who is still asleep. And there’s nothing wrong with asking a younger child to try to be quiet early in the morning when sharing a beach house. What do you mean you stepped in?

Sounds like you weren’t very welcoming.

Stay out of it.

These are pretty basic things. I had my b/g 15 year olds share a room at the beach for this reason so their 7-10 year old cousins could romp at 7 am.

[Anonymous]

OP is the 11 year old older than your oldest? Because it sounds to me like your brother was trying to please everyone and make sure the 11 year old was comfortable, and that is very sweet.

You probably think the 11 year old is basically an adult, or a teen, but I'm here to tell you she is NOT, and that when your 6yo is 11 you will see that that is very very very much still a child.

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

I think OP dislikes the fiancée for having an existing kid and not being well-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

What were you expecting? This sounds totally normal. Did you think a 12 year old should go to bed when a 6 year old does?

The food/shopping thing sounds weird, but who knows.

Everyone seems to be forgetting that the brother and night owl 12-year-old were guests in a place OP had been staying for a month. Likely the six-year-old had establish her room at the beach. If it was such an inconvenience for the 12-year-old to be quiet around the 6yo and vice versa, the 12-year-old shoulda shacked up with her mother.

[Anonymous]

A week? Op, do something practical to make this situation much better in the future - 2 nts, 3 nts max of togetherness. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP dislikes the fiancée for having an existing kid and not being well-off.

But that doesn’t make OP wrong. Her brother looks like a simp paying for everything and for a kid who isn’t his. I’ve been in OP’s shoes and it sucks. Why do men do this to themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

Is this a problem? It’s a vacation. Relax.

On my dime. I forget a lot of you are rude and like to mooch.

Are you the OP? If so, I’m ready to say, with only the facts you’ve given, that you are the worst person in this vacation house, and I’m glad your brother will be gaining a family that will hopefully serve as a buffer against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP dislikes the fiancée for having an existing kid and not being well-off.

But that doesn’t make OP wrong. Her brother looks like a simp paying for everything and for a kid who isn’t his. I’ve been in OP’s shoes and it sucks. Why do men do this to themselves?

They do this because they fall in love and can’t imagine not spending their life with their partner (and kids). It’s is sweet and wonderful that he wants to be a family with her. Should single people with kids never marry again? We don’t choose love, it chooses us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP dislikes the fiancée for having an existing kid and not being well-off.

But that doesn’t make OP wrong. Her brother looks like a simp paying for everything and for a kid who isn’t his. I’ve been in OP’s shoes and it sucks. Why do men do this to themselves?

They do this because they fall in love and can’t imagine not spending their life with their partner (and kids). It’s is sweet and wonderful that he wants to be a family with her. Should single people with kids never marry again? We don’t choose love, it chooses us.

Life isn't a Hallmark movie. I know someone who married a single mom of FOUR and she ended up divorcing him even though he helped raise her brood. I think if OP's future SIL was helpful and had pitched in, then it would have been ok. But it's like she wanted OP and her family to wait on her and her daughter hand on foot. That really is a recipe for disaster. Talk about making a great first impression...not.

[Anonymous]

Try to figure out how to have a good relationship w your bro even if you don’t like the woman he chose.

[Anonymous]

You probably invited them so you could get to know the fiancee and her kid, right? Well, you did. You also got to know the version of your brother that his him in a relationship, at least with her. So file all that info away.

I wouldn't give him any crap about his behavior though, as others have said a shared house vacation, especially when some are just getting to know each other, is no place to be making judgments about anybody.

[Anonymous]

I sense there are a lot of single parents commenting who feel defensive on behalf of the fiancé.

[Anonymous]

Presuming you are close, get your brother alone and ask if everything is okay. Mention that he seemed very strung out and spending a lot of money during vacation trying to accommodate every whim. Ask if that's usual or was he just trying to keep things smooth while so many of you were together at once. Just remind him that you love him and hope he's okay settling into a relationship that is a lot of dynamics all at once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sense there are a lot of single parents commenting who feel defensive on behalf of the fiancé.

No it's that OP is the sister posting, and on DCUM that automatically means she is wrong.