Disaster coming with brother and fiancé

[Anonymous]

I just spent a week at the beach with my brother, his fiancé and her tween. My DH and I rented a house for a month and invited them and my parents. I can’t even put down some of what’s so crazy because it’ll read as fiction. (My brother is anxious about the step-parent dynamic and went shopping multiple times a day - not an exaggeration, going to the one market 3 to 5 times a day to satisfy whims - to buy all kinds of food for just his fiancé and the picky girl, to the point where DH could not fit in a bottle of wine or a pack of hot dogs into the fridge; my much younger DD was told and did leave the shared room so the girl could sleep in every morning, and had to “be quiet” - I stepped in).

I’m just venting. I’m so distressed by the imminent marriage. The dynamic seems incredibly messed up, not a partnership, but rather a guy taking on a burden to an absurd degree. He doesn’t have a high salary but pays for everything. Would you try to talk to your sibling about this or simply accept that as an adult he makes his own calls and offer no thoughts? That’s what I’ve done but it feels crazy to see crazy and say nothing.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t your business, the part you can control is either not inviting them on vacation or certainly not asking your daughter to share a room with your brother’s fiancé’s teen daughter. That part is on you. Tbh, leaving the room or “being quiet” if one sleeps later is how you share a room. Buying lots of food doesn’t sound that insane either but I mean, whatever. It’s not your business.

[Anonymous]

It’s none of your business. However you should not be having your young child share a room with what is essentially a teenage stranger.

[Anonymous]

You sound annoying. There is nothing wrong with asking a younger child to leave the bedroom she is sharing with an older child who is still asleep. And there’s nothing wrong with asking a younger child to try to be quiet early in the morning when sharing a beach house. What do you mean you stepped in?

Sounds like you weren’t very welcoming.

Stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

I’m hesitant to substantiate more but it was crazy. However, I accept that’s the way it is and hope it works for the best.

[Anonymous]

The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound annoying. There is nothing wrong with asking a younger child to leave the bedroom she is sharing with an older child who is still asleep. And there’s nothing wrong with asking a younger child to try to be quiet early in the morning when sharing a beach house. What do you mean you stepped in?

Sounds like you weren’t very welcoming.

Stay out of it.

Yeah, it’s super unwelcoming to invite people who can’t and don’t offer to pay for any collective groceries, run any towels, watch other kids after getting babysitting.

[Anonymous]

OP your brother is an adult.

He lives his life his way not yours.

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

Oh do you wanted her to be quiet and were annoyed when she wasn’t? Like they wanted your daughter to be quiet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

It depends on how long she was expected to be quiet. It's reasonable to expect people to be quiet until 8 in the morning or so, but expecting a little kid to be quiet until 10 am is unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

He bought some groceries and told your kid not to turn on the tv in a bedroom while the step-kid is sleeping.

Relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

Oh do you wanted her to be quiet and were annoyed when she wasn’t? Like they wanted your daughter to be quiet?

Are you for real? I know you think you’re smart, but the only kind of person who thinks an 11 year old banging into a shared bedroom after midnight each night and requiring silence in the morning is an asshole. So, you’re an asshole. Regards to your sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

What were you expecting? This sounds totally normal. Did you think a 12 year old should go to bed when a 6 year old does?

The food/shopping thing sounds weird, but who knows.

[Anonymous]

I'm not seeing any issue. They need to plan better with food but its nice he considers his girlfriends child's needs and wishes. And, if the child and your child are sharing a room and the other child is sleeping, your child needs to leave the room. You need to teach YOUR child manners.