Disaster coming with brother and fiancé

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

Is this a problem? It’s a vacation. Relax.

On my dime. I forget a lot of you are rude and like to mooch.

Oh, you’re one of those people who invite others just to lord it over them. Message received.

Butt out of your brother’s love life, and from now on, only take vacations with your DH and your so perfect that butter melts in her mouth 6 year old. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a perfect example of being mean for the sake of it. Mean women: butt out.

Counterpoint, OP is a self-centered dunce, and is being called out for it.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is anxious about becoming a step-parent to a tween. (Who wouldn't be?) He is trying to keep his fiancée and her daughter physically and emotionally comfortable in a group house with his whole family. I feel for him.

Is he in a healthy relationship? I have no idea. But an extended family beach trip doesn't tend to highlight the best of any relationship, so cut him some slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is anxious about becoming a step-parent to a tween. (Who wouldn't be?) He is trying to keep his fiancée and her daughter physically and emotionally comfortable in a group house with his whole family. I feel for him.

Is he in a healthy relationship? I have no idea. But an extended family beach trip doesn't tend to highlight the best of any relationship, so cut him some slack.

Exactly! My husband and I are very happily married but I don’t think that’s the impression one would get from overcrowded beach house vacations with his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is anxious about becoming a step-parent to a tween. (Who wouldn't be?) He is trying to keep his fiancée and her daughter physically and emotionally comfortable in a group house with his whole family. I feel for him.

Is he in a healthy relationship? I have no idea. But an extended family beach trip doesn't tend to highlight the best of any relationship, so cut him some slack.

I agree and would try. From watching a sibling's marriage implode (as everyone thought it would), I would recommend trying to be really supportive and talk to him about their relationship. Say things like - I see how special ____ to you. I would love to get to know her better. Can you share with me some things you guys love to do together .....

Not being passive aggressive - really listening and trying to understand why he proposed and wants to spend his life with her.

A good friend who is divorced asked - why didn't anyone tell me ...... yeah hind sight is 20/20 - but there are ways that you can engage that leads with trying to understand and kindness.

[Anonymous]

This is why I never vacation with any family members other than my wife and kids.

Every large family vacation I've ever taken has turned out to be more stress than enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm OP you seem like the cause of the problem. Letting a tween stay up till midnight on vacation and sleep in is totally normal.

Not OP. The 11 year old needs to as quiet going to bed as she wants the 6 year old to be while getting up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

PLUS 1

[Anonymous]

OP, I only read the first page of comments but I want to encourage you to say something to your brother about the behavior you’ve observed and ask him if he’s happy. It’s safe to assume when and if they get married you’ll end up estranged anyway because this new wife will likely be someone you want to avoid. I would too. Sounds to me this woman, who expects your brother to pay for everything, is using him.

[Anonymous]

Don’t invite them again.

[Anonymous]

Well, don’t add a nosy, gossipy, intrusive, judgmental sibling to the mix.

Mind ya business.

[Anonymous]

We always have a too full fridge when we are on vacation with another family.

What do you mean by “picky eater”? It sounds like your brother wanted his soon to be child to be comfortable on this vacation that was already going to be awkward by the very nature of it. He will probably settle down when they are back on their own turf. Your brother was probably also nervous about you and your family mixing with his fiancé and daughter.

I think if you do it again, the two girls who have such different sleep schedules should be in different rooms. That was bound to not work.

I would say the things you mention don’t scream crazy and go hand in hand with sharing a house on vacation. Maybe you should post some of the things that you think are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Let him live his life and don’t go on vacation with them.

[Anonymous]

I don't know many tween girls, but all the ones I do know would be "picky eaters" by some folks' definition.

A number are vegetarian or vegan. Others are into "healthy eating" and hot dogs would be disdained. If you served hot dogs and hamburgers, mac n cheese and cocoa puffs for breakfast, they wouldn't eat.

I know one lovely young girl who likes her food bland. Serve her something even mildly spicy and she won't eat it.

And, I know everyone seems to be dumping on you but...did you ask about food preferences before the weekend? Most people do these days...especially where kids are involved.

[Anonymous]

I can relate to your brother. His 3-5 daily grocery store trips were really just an excuse to get out of the house and away from the weird stressful family dynamic that inevitably happens during every family vacation.