Disaster coming with brother and fiancé

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sense there are a lot of single parents commenting who feel defensive on behalf of the fiancé.

No it's that OP is the sister posting, and on DCUM that automatically means she is wrong.

It seems that OP was trying to inject herself in the brother and his girlfriend's affairs and everyone was focusing on OP's daughter needing to yield to the girlfriend's daughter. The whole thing seems out of hand. OP's daughter is a little child, and the 11 year old really hasn't done anything wrong other than wanting to sleep in a bit. And buying a lot of food is not really a problem.

And probably OP should not be inviting siblings and their partners/children to their personal family vacations. She's not all that flexible.

[Anonymous]

“ON MY DIME…”

Get over yourself. He probably isn’t that interested in vacationing with you anyway.

[Anonymous]

You sound like lady bountiful inviting the peasants to spend a week in the manor, op.

On the surface sending your brother the market 5 times a day sounds strange.. but you know this and wrote it exactly as you intended.

Without knowing what is or isn’t in the fridge, I have no idea if he was reasonable or not. Teens are finding out their own food preferences, ours likes almond milk and mangoes.

Part of your problem is you aren’t used to teenagers. Another part I think is that you probably don’t want your brother to marry anybody.
This is exactly why many families ours included like to vacation with just ourselves.
He is allowed to court his fiance however he’d like and picking up food she and the kid want is one way to do that. You probably wouldn’t be too happy if your brother or anybody fussed at you about things your husband does to make your life a little sweeter, “he doesn’t need to bring you coffee, go get it yourself” “Don’t make him go pick up doughnuts, nobody needs those”

Stay out of other people’s marriages and relationships.
Also, realize that you may prefer to vacation with just your own family.. you aren’t being nice by inviting people to spend a week with you then fussing about their eating and sleeping habbits.

[Anonymous]

I guess I don’t see any glaring problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don’t see any glaring problem.

Me either. Other than the fact that OP seems to want everyone to be impressed that she paid for this vacation but is apparently too cheap to get a place big enough to accommodate everyone's needs. We also pay and plan a family vacation and part of doing that means you need to take into account for everything. You should be booking somewhere where the teen and little.kid get their own.space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don’t see any glaring problem.

Me either. Other than the fact that OP seems to want everyone to be impressed that she paid for this vacation but is apparently too cheap to get a place big enough to accommodate everyone's needs. We also pay and plan a family vacation and part of doing that means you need to take into account for everything. You should be booking somewhere where the teen and little.kid get their own.space.

Or don’t invite them! Why on earth would you ask someone to join you in your house where you can’t actually accommodate your guests?

[Anonymous]

I'd be worried. Unlike most of DCUM, my family doesn't act like we're strangers. We straight up ask questions and bring up concerns we have.

[Anonymous]

I’m curious what OP’s parents are thinking too

[Anonymous]

Tell him what you think OP. He’s going to find out either way through your behavior or a conversation/situation down the line so might as well put it all out there now. He probably won’t heed your advice, but at the very least he will keep it in the back of his mind for the future. Who are all these people that can’t have open discussions like this with their siblings??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store thing is weird but your daughter being asked to be quiet is completely normal (snd in fact you should have asked her.)

They let the daughter stay up until midnight-1, and “sneak in quietly” (nope) to a room shared with a 6 year old.

That’s not a huge deal. Certainly not “crazy”. My teens stay up later on vacation, and sleep in. Your examples are pretty mild, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not seeing any issue. They need to plan better with food but its nice he considers his girlfriends child's needs and wishes. And, if the child and your child are sharing a room and the other child is sleeping, your child needs to leave the room. You need to teach YOUR child manners.

She did, without fail, every morning. She actually has manners, unlike my guests, and I’m guessing all of you reacting this way.

Good heavens, based on your reactions to us being unfazed, I’m imagining that you are the difficult one here. No advice for you, but my advice to your brother is to get a hotel next time, geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him what you think OP. He’s going to find out either way through your behavior or a conversation/situation down the line so might as well put it all out there now. He probably won’t heed your advice, but at the very least he will keep it in the back of his mind for the future. Who are all these people that can’t have open discussions like this with their siblings??

Ask Prince William how well that went for him.

[Anonymous]

Nothing you can do. He won't listen to you and it will just alienate him and she will hate you. Just be there for him if/when he comes to you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, say something. My brother is going through a divorce and we have had a number of heart to hearts. Siblings tend to know each other better than anyone. You might be able to save him some heart ache later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you can do. He won't listen to you and it will just alienate him and she will hate you. Just be there for him if/when he comes to you.

+1. I still harbor some resentment at MIL for all her discussions with DH stating our relationship is a bad idea. I am remarried and came to the marriage with 3 kids. DH had none. MIL questioned every progressive step in our relationship. Moving across the country to my city was too much too soon. He did it anyways. Moving in with me and my kids. She thought he’d be unhappy. Getting a dog. Too much of a commitment. Buying a new house together where he put down most of the deposit. Too much financial commitment. Buying me a Mercedes. She lamented, what happens if we don’t work out. We eloped and are now happily married. I’m fairly average looking and I don’t think she understands DH marrying me at all. It’s driven a wedge between them. They would all get along better if she would just love and support him in his decision.