Would you be concerned if your DD planned to marry her high school or college sweetheart

[Anonymous]

You can still have individual life experience and a relationship. My husband and I started dating at 20 and 21. We both lived in crummy apartments with weird roommates for awhile before moving in together the year before we got engaged. We supported each other through first jobs, some difficult family situations and losses on both sides, grad school for me, etc. Got married at 26 and 27 and will celebrate our 17th anniversary this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone should work for a few years before getting married. This is the only time in your life when you can spend YOUR money the way YOU want. If she persists with the engagement track, I would push her to be independent and move out on her own. Don’t baby her through this time. I guess you should also fill us in —does she have a job, health benefits, a car, etc.

+1 I married too young, before I had time to figure out what I really wanted in life. I became part of a couple before I was a fully developed person. I also did not not have the life experience to recognize that some of the dynamics in my ex-husband's family were red flags.

It's hard to know if voicing your concerns to your daughter would backfire, but I wish someone had let me know back then that I didn't need to be in such a rush.

[Anonymous]

I married my first boyfriend when I was 19. Divorced at 34.

I would want my daughters to wait, know themselves, and be able to identify red flags. But you can't tell anyone what to do, especially when they're in love!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all of the posters from who married their HS and College sweethearts? I'm genuinely curious. I live in DC proper (have for over 20 years) and I know no one who married their HS sweetheart (not even from my HS days!) and I know no one who married their college sweetheart. I know one friend who married at 24 and her husband is a loser. Everyone else married late 20s, but mostly early 30s. And a good handful in late 30s/early 40s!!

1/3 of American couples meet in college and another 1/3 in the next couple of years after (usually in first jobs or grad school). In my UMC circle, most of the guys that are conventionally considered a catch, were off the market by mid 20s.

Met my HS sweetheart (bleah that term) in Houston, went to colleges in DC and NYC, and then moved back to DC. We’re highly educated and our careers are awesome. But I get the comment I look back at my high school classmates and I’m like hmmmm...

[Anonymous]

I’d be thrilled if it was a happy, healthy relationship. Why messeith that? Some people never find it.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband (and first serious boyfriend also) at 20, he was 22 and fresh out of college himself. I married him two years later six weeks out from my college graduation. It’ll be 20 years in June, we have a 14 year old and a 9 year old. Life has its ups and downs but both of us would say our relationship is strong and we still love each other. No regrets here. And we survived a year of enforced isolation/working and virtual schooling without murdering each other. Not bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are all of the posters from who married their HS and College sweethearts? I'm genuinely curious. I live in DC proper (have for over 20 years) and I know no one who married their HS sweetheart (not even from my HS days!) and I know no one who married their college sweetheart. I know one friend who married at 24 and her husband is a loser. Everyone else married late 20s, but mostly early 30s. And a good handful in late 30s/early 40s!!

Haha. I live in DC proper, DH was 24 and I was 22 when we married and people always assume that we were married as teens. Nope. The reactions are a hoot when people meet us. I don’t even have to say a word.

[Anonymous]

I married my first significant other my first year of college and we got married at 23. It's not for everyone, but I'm so happy that I had someone alongside me through law school and starting my life. We waited a long time to have kids, but those early years of marriage were a pure joy. If I thought the person was good, I'd be happy for daughter to have that experience.

[Anonymous]

Just support her OP.. If you talk her out of it and 10 years from now she's still single or with a loser she'll blame you.


It's not what I did, but I know several people who married their college SO and are still doing well and having amazing and interesting lives.

It's her life, not yours.

[Anonymous]

If he’s a great guy and they seem happy together op I would be very happy for them. I met me husband at 21 and he was 19, we married at 25 and 27 and are very happy, two kids now. In a lot of ways my path was easier than friends that dated around. And we lived a lot of life just the two of us in the 10 or so years we were together before kids - lived in new cities, started new careers, I don’t think it’s stifled us in any way.

[Anonymous]

All of the college sweethearts I know who got married are still happily married. It's because they were all wanting to get married and start families early. It's not because they just happened to meet the love of their lives in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all of the posters from who married their HS and College sweethearts? I'm genuinely curious. I live in DC proper (have for over 20 years) and I know no one who married their HS sweetheart (not even from my HS days!) and I know no one who married their college sweetheart. I know one friend who married at 24 and her husband is a loser. Everyone else married late 20s, but mostly early 30s. And a good handful in late 30s/early 40s!!

Haha. I live in DC proper, DH was 24 and I was 22 when we married and people always assume that we were married as teens. Nope. The reactions are a hoot when people meet us. I don’t even have to say a word.

I have lived in DC my whole life except for college and I know several. I went to Sidwell, GDS, NCS or Maret and a top ten University. I know more college sweethearts but at least two HS ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all of the posters from who married their HS and College sweethearts? I'm genuinely curious. I live in DC proper (have for over 20 years) and I know no one who married their HS sweetheart (not even from my HS days!) and I know no one who married their college sweetheart. I know one friend who married at 24 and her husband is a loser. Everyone else married late 20s, but mostly early 30s. And a good handful in late 30s/early 40s!!

Haha. I live in DC proper, DH was 24 and I was 22 when we married and people always assume that we were married as teens. Nope. The reactions are a hoot when people meet us. I don’t even have to say a word.

I have lived in DC my whole life except for college and I know several. I went to Sidwell, GDS, NCS or Maret and a top ten University. I know more college sweethearts but at least two HS ones.

We’re in Arlington, used to live in dc proper. But in our close friend group there is another couple that is high school sweethearts (we met in college) that live in dc, so they are definitely out there! High school more rare but lots of college I feel like.. surprised you wouldn’t know some of those

[Anonymous]

Add me as another successful young marriage. Husband and I met in high school and were just friends. Started dating sophomore year of college. Got married at age 23 after grad school. We are 40 now, still married, still happy.

I would not be concerned if either of my kids followed the same path. My husband's older sisters were really worried about us getting married because they waited until their late 20s and thought we were too young. I remember his mom saying to them that he wasn't like them and he has always known what he wanted straight away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all of the posters from who married their HS and College sweethearts? I'm genuinely curious. I live in DC proper (have for over 20 years) and I know no one who married their HS sweetheart (not even from my HS days!) and I know no one who married their college sweetheart. I know one friend who married at 24 and her husband is a loser. Everyone else married late 20s, but mostly early 30s. And a good handful in late 30s/early 40s!!

Haha. I live in DC proper, DH was 24 and I was 22 when we married and people always assume that we were married as teens. Nope. The reactions are a hoot when people meet us. I don’t even have to say a word.

I have lived in DC my whole life except for college and I know several. I went to Sidwell, GDS, NCS or Maret and a top ten University. I know more college sweethearts but at least two HS ones.

We’re in Arlington, used to live in dc proper. But in our close friend group there is another couple that is high school sweethearts (we met in college) that live in dc, so they are definitely out there! High school more rare but lots of college I feel like.. surprised you wouldn’t know some of those

PP married at 22 20 years ago. DC suburbs, originally, now in Columbia. My husband is originally from the Midwest, and oddly enough several of his HS friends he is still close with married a college sweethearts, one married a law school classmate. About five couples I can think of in his friend group besides us. And many of the couples both have advanced degrees.