Would you be concerned if your DD planned to marry her high school or college sweetheart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friends both married their prom dates. 25 years in and one has been saying for years she wants a do-over. Her oldest is finally graduating HS. At this point she may just hold out until her loaded MIL dies so she can get half in the eventual divorce.

The other couple are the exact image of Ray’s parents in everyone loves Raymond. I can’t stand to be around them together. Ugh the bickering never ends.

I’d be concerned my DD would fall into one of these categories.

Uh. Inheritance is not a marital asset, and it may even be in trust which will make that harder. Unless he commingled the assets, she will get none of his family money.

This isn’t true. I see this statement all the time on this forum and it isn’t true.

This is absolutely true! The rich have their trusts/assets setup to pass thru the bloodline only. Bloodline trusts. Actually very common among wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friends both married their prom dates. 25 years in and one has been saying for years she wants a do-over. Her oldest is finally graduating HS. At this point she may just hold out until her loaded MIL dies so she can get half in the eventual divorce.

The other couple are the exact image of Ray’s parents in everyone loves Raymond. I can’t stand to be around them together. Ugh the bickering never ends.

I’d be concerned my DD would fall into one of these categories.

Uh. Inheritance is not a marital asset, and it may even be in trust which will make that harder. Unless he commingled the assets, she will get none of his family money.

This isn’t true. I see this statement all the time on this forum and it isn’t true.

This is absolutely true! The rich have their trusts/assets setup to pass thru the bloodline only. Bloodline trusts. Actually very common among wealthy.

Yes I’m aware of this. But I wasn’t talk about their group of people lol

The group of people make up an extremely small number of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friends both married their prom dates. 25 years in and one has been saying for years she wants a do-over. Her oldest is finally graduating HS. At this point she may just hold out until her loaded MIL dies so she can get half in the eventual divorce.

The other couple are the exact image of Ray’s parents in everyone loves Raymond. I can’t stand to be around them together. Ugh the bickering never ends.

I’d be concerned my DD would fall into one of these categories.

Uh. Inheritance is not a marital asset, and it may even be in trust which will make that harder. Unless he commingled the assets, she will get none of his family money.

This isn’t true. I see this statement all the time on this forum and it isn’t true.

This is absolutely true! The rich have their trusts/assets setup to pass thru the bloodline only. Bloodline trusts. Actually very common among wealthy.

Yes I’m aware of this. But I wasn’t talk about their group of people lol

The group of people make up an extremely small number of people.

DP. Even without a trust set up like that, it's still separate property on divorce unless it's commingled. I'm guessing lots of people do end up commingling especially smaller inheritances, but that doesn't have to be the case.

[Anonymous]

So you want your daughter to "party" during her twenties and build a high body count so when she is in her thirties she hits the wall and "settles."

If my daughter married in early twenties with a low body count to a person I thought was mentally healthy and cared for her I would be VERY happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your “self” is not hidden behind your cervix and only dislodged by vigorous application of a variety of men.

Yikes, woman shaming at its best! Please crawl back into the evangelical hole you came out of.

I mean, yeah, the shaming is bad, but I'm honestly more concerned about this poster's understanding of the mechanics of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want your daughter to "party" during her twenties and build a high body count so when she is in her thirties she hits the wall and "settles."

If my daughter married in early twenties with a low body count to a person I thought was mentally healthy and cared for her I would be VERY happy.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Met my DH at 19, married when I was 23. 47, still happily married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meaning, someone she started dating at around 16-20 and so doesn’t have any experience with other partners or any serious experience.

Would this be concerning? My daughter started dating her boyfriend at 18 freshman year of college. She’s 23 now and is talking about getting engaged. She’s very smitten with him and we love him too. He’s not the problem. I’d love to see her marry someone like him eventually maybe 5-10 years from now.

I guess I just assumed she’d be more like her peers who want to marry later in life? I thought she’d take her twenties to date other people and “find herself” without a serious boyfriend etc. I assumed they’d break up after graduation but as she said to me, if I love him why would I break up with him? Isn’t this something people do though? Even if people end up with their hs or college sweethearts, isn’t it usually after a break in the relationship to date other people?

What would you say if your daughter started talking about getting engaged at 23 with the intention of marrying in a year or so to plan a wedding?

I would say stop reliving your mistakes through your daughters life. It’s her life. I watch so many women doing this their daughters. Such a shame. Sorry you regret your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want your daughter to "party" during her twenties and build a high body count so when she is in her thirties she hits the wall and "settles."

If my daughter married in early twenties with a low body count to a person I thought was mentally healthy and cared for her I would be VERY happy.

What kind of purity nonsense is this?? Wtf??

Americans ways of thinking from the impact of religion is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meaning, someone she started dating at around 16-20 and so doesn’t have any experience with other partners or any serious experience.

Would this be concerning? My daughter started dating her boyfriend at 18 freshman year of college. She’s 23 now and is talking about getting engaged. She’s very smitten with him and we love him too. He’s not the problem. I’d love to see her marry someone like him eventually maybe 5-10 years from now.

I guess I just assumed she’d be more like her peers who want to marry later in life? I thought she’d take her twenties to date other people and “find herself” without a serious boyfriend etc. I assumed they’d break up after graduation but as she said to me, if I love him why would I break up with him? Isn’t this something people do though? Even if people end up with their hs or college sweethearts, isn’t it usually after a break in the relationship to date other people?

What would you say if your daughter started talking about getting engaged at 23 with the intention of marrying in a year or so to plan a wedding?

I would say stop reliving your mistakes through your daughters life. It’s her life. I watch so many women doing this their daughters. Such a shame. Sorry you regret your choices.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meaning, someone she started dating at around 16-20 and so doesn’t have any experience with other partners or any serious experience.

Would this be concerning? My daughter started dating her boyfriend at 18 freshman year of college. She’s 23 now and is talking about getting engaged. She’s very smitten with him and we love him too. He’s not the problem. I’d love to see her marry someone like him eventually maybe 5-10 years from now.

I guess I just assumed she’d be more like her peers who want to marry later in life? I thought she’d take her twenties to date other people and “find herself” without a serious boyfriend etc. I assumed they’d break up after graduation but as she said to me, if I love him why would I break up with him? Isn’t this something people do though? Even if people end up with their hs or college sweethearts, isn’t it usually after a break in the relationship to date other people?

What would you say if your daughter started talking about getting engaged at 23 with the intention of marrying in a year or so to plan a wedding?

I would say stop reliving your mistakes through your daughters life. It’s her life. I watch so many women doing this their daughters. Such a shame. Sorry you regret your choices.

Well said.

+1

[Anonymous]

Well I understand your feelings but after looking at couples for many years I see the truly good ones marry young. Often to someone they met in college. Sometimes they break up fir awhile and date then go back to each other. I have seen this in marriages 30 years old. I’m old.

[Anonymous]

My DH was the only lawyer in the whole firm not married. We were engaged. Married 28 years. Great guy.

[Anonymous]

My DD is in love with her BF from freshman year college. He’s a great guy but very different cultural background. I’m ok with it. They seem to love each other in a respectful way.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband the first month of college in 2001, married him 3 years after graduating in 2008, and are celebrating our 20 year dating anniversary this year at ages 38. We really grew up together and he’s a wonderful person and father. I knew I’d marry him after a year or two - he just became part of my life and it was impossible to see the future without him in it. I occasionally wish I could have a hall pass for a little variety, but TBH I could lose 20 pounds myself and am more grateful he still finds me hot and appealing. If he’s a good person and you think he’ll be a good husband and father, then it’s definitely not too young.