Step-MIL says she’s not my messenger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

So, you won't contact FIL directly because your husband doesn't like it, but you are considering doing it to tell him that MIL won't pass along your messages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

So, you won't contact FIL directly because your husband doesn't like it, but you are considering doing it to tell him that MIL won't pass along your messages?

OP here. I'll tell him so that he'll know that I sent her videos of his grandkids and she wouldn't have a choice but to let him see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's a step, and a MIL, so you've got two layers of alienation there. I'd turn this over to DH to manage relations with his dad. If his dad starts to complain because he's not seeing your videos, it's up to your DH to decide what to do/tell his dad.

I'd also block that witch on FB.

OP is the only one alienating anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

So, you won't contact FIL directly because your husband doesn't like it, but you are considering doing it to tell him that MIL won't pass along your messages?

OP here. I'll tell him so that he'll know that I sent her videos of his grandkids and she wouldn't have a choice but to let him see them.

LOL, good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

So, you won't contact FIL directly because your husband doesn't like it, but you are considering doing it to tell him that MIL won't pass along your messages?

OP here. I'll tell him so that he'll know that I sent her videos of his grandkids and she wouldn't have a choice but to let him see them.

Do it and report back.

[Anonymous]

Lol I’d block her

You want silence? Here’s your silence b$tch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

So, you won't contact FIL directly because your husband doesn't like it, but you are considering doing it to tell him that MIL won't pass along your messages?

OP here. I'll tell him so that he'll know that I sent her videos of his grandkids and she wouldn't have a choice but to let him see them.

This is very misogynistic of you. Your DH doesn’t want you contacting his father, but instead of ignoring that to send him videos of his grandkids, you’re willing to ignoring it to get your Step MIL “in trouble” for not forwarding those videos to him? It’s not her job to be your go between, or to manage her HUSBAND’S relationship with HIS son/DIL/grandchildren. The fact that you are only going to contacting him to throw her under the bus is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

So, you won't contact FIL directly because your husband doesn't like it, but you are considering doing it to tell him that MIL won't pass along your messages?

OP here. I'll tell him so that he'll know that I sent her videos of his grandkids and she wouldn't have a choice but to let him see them.

This is very misogynistic of you. Your DH doesn’t want you contacting his father, but instead of ignoring that to send him videos of his grandkids, you’re willing to ignoring it to get your Step MIL “in trouble” for not forwarding those videos to him? It’s not her job to be your go between, or to manage her HUSBAND’S relationship with HIS son/DIL/grandchildren. The fact that you are only going to contacting him to throw her under the bus is sad.

Fortunately OP is a troll so none of this is really happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the person from a prior thread who stayed in their in-laws house while your DH was on a drinking bender and was dismayed that your step-MIL asked you to clean up after yourself and your children, which you stated was impossible? And she wanted you to keep your kids quiet while she worked from home, which you also refused to do, and were appalled at the request?

MUST be the same OP. Same clueless entitlement, same basic situation, same almost-trolling feeling to it but I’ve known some people awful enough that she could be real.

On the off chance she’s real, OP, you are 150% in the wrong and owe both of your IL’s an apology. Many of them actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol I’d block her

You want silence? Here’s your silence b$tch.

Why would you block her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

You’re creating emotional work for her. If you want to send videos, just start an Instagram account.

[Anonymous]

Good for MIL. An alcoholic stepson, a DIL who has no boundaries...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

You’re creating emotional work for her. If you want to send videos, just start an Instagram account.

Speaking as a DIL, I find that older people aren't going to be on social media and they aren't checking it at all. It's just not their thing. If they want to see your kids, they'll ask to set up a video call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

You’re creating emotional work for her. If you want to send videos, just start an Instagram account.

Speaking as a DIL, I find that older people aren't going to be on social media and they aren't checking it at all. It's just not their thing. If they want to see your kids, they'll ask to set up a video call.

First, being a DIL doesn't confer special insights on society at large.

Second, don't stereotype "older people." I know plenty of 60+ who are all over SM all day long and many in their 30s who are not on it at all.

If a person isn't into SM they probably aren't into video calls either.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I confided in DH about his stepmom’s behavior and he gave me permission to call FIL. Unfortunately, he wasn’t inside the house so step-MIL answered and basically said she showed him the videos and he said thanks. I didn’t get to speak with him and she was very curt. I asked if they were coming to see us in the summer and she said no without giving an explanation. DH took over and basically started asking if they’d consider moving to our city to provide emotional support and be closer to FIL’s grandchildren and she just said no. DH is upset as she usually is warm toward him and he blames me for “turning her against us”. I’m at a loss that I have no way of reaching FIL to show videos of his grandkids and DH isn’t supporting me,