Step-MIL says she’s not my messenger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has an alcohol problem he is seeking treatment for. FIL doesn’t take his calls anymore. I just wanted to share the videos with their grandfather. I don’t see what his wife would have against it and why she can’t do it when they live in the same house. I used to send the videos of DH drunk to prove that he was abusing alcohol at the time and I didn’t ask my step-MIL for money except to support my MLM business by buying a few products. She didn’t respond to that message so I thought she just ignored me.

There's your problem. I wouldn't want to hear from you either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's a step, and a MIL, so you've got two layers of alienation there. I'd turn this over to DH to manage relations with his dad. If his dad starts to complain because he's not seeing your videos, it's up to your DH to decide what to do/tell his dad.

I'd also block that witch on FB.

The woman who stands up for herself gets called a witch. Sad.

[Anonymous]

If I were the step-MIL, I would contact the stepson to complain about the OP’s attempt to solicit business and sending of unwanted videos. Then it would teach the OP a lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she has a good point. And if you asked me to support your MLM business I might want to ignore you too.

No one who works for an MLM actually refers to it as an MLM. They always have creative descriptors about their innovative company with amazing growth opportunities. That’s been the biggest tell that this is a troll.

Not true. Some people actually know it’s a MLM but they like the products and sign up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has an alcohol problem he is seeking treatment for. FIL doesn’t take his calls anymore. I just wanted to share the videos with their grandfather. I don’t see what his wife would have against it and why she can’t do it when they live in the same house. I used to send the videos of DH drunk to prove that he was abusing alcohol at the time and I didn’t ask my step-MIL for money except to support my MLM business by buying a few products. She didn’t respond to that message so I thought she just ignored me.

No one can be this self-unaware. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has an alcohol problem he is seeking treatment for. FIL doesn’t take his calls anymore. I just wanted to share the videos with their grandfather. I don’t see what his wife would have against it and why she can’t do it when they live in the same house. I used to send the videos of DH drunk to prove that he was abusing alcohol at the time and I didn’t ask my step-MIL for money except to support my MLM business by buying a few products. She didn’t respond to that message so I thought she just ignored me.

No one can be this self-unaware. Right?

If she’s anything like my sister, yes. I think OP faced a lot of gaslighting at home about drinking and felt she needed to convince his family too. Overall, a lot of boundary issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she doesn't like that you have been...treating her like a messenger?

She's not wrong. You should apologize. And if DH doesn't want you contacting his farther, why are you contacting FIL ny proxy?!

+1

"My husband and his son (my step-son) aren't on speaking terms. My step-son has a drinking problem and my husband has decided not to take his calls anymore. My DIL knows this, but keeps sending me videos of her kids, as well as videos of my step-son drunk, and asking me to show them to my husband. She won't send them directly to my husband because her own husband has told her not to. I'm really uncomfortable being an intermediary here, and I don't like being asked to circumvent my husband's and step-son's wishes. It's their relationship to work out, and it's not really my place to interfere.

Plus, she never asks me how I'm doing, she just tells me to forward the message like I'm the secretary. (She did try to get me to buy her MLM crap, though. I ignored those messages.) I finally told her that I didn't like being her messenger, and she got pissy and told my husband. Fortunately, he completely agrees that I shouldn't be in the middle of this, and her attempt to tattle-tale didn't really help her case."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

(1) She's right. She's not your messenger, and she shouldn't be expected to help you communicate with with your FIL against the expressed wishes of your husband and, apparently, her husband.

(2) You couldn't even be bothered to make friendly chit-chat or express any interest in her life, and this is the consequence. You see her as someone to be used -- to pass along your messages and buy your MLM nonsense -- and she's well within her rights to say that she isn't interested in being used that way.

(3) You're going to tattle on her? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has an alcohol problem he is seeking treatment for. FIL doesn’t take his calls anymore. I just wanted to share the videos with their grandfather. I don’t see what his wife would have against it and why she can’t do it when they live in the same house. I used to send the videos of DH drunk to prove that he was abusing alcohol at the time and I didn’t ask my step-MIL for money except to support my MLM business by buying a few products. She didn’t respond to that message so I thought she just ignored me.

You’re laying on the troll cliches awfully thick, OP.

+1

BTW nobody who’s involved in MLMs actually calls it an MLM. You gave yourself away. They always say side business, small business, mom boss, side hustle, etc. Otherwise, this was a pretty good troll attempt.

I had fun reading the thread, but you can do better OP! I believe in you

[Anonymous]

What do you want your step-MIL to do about your husband's drinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she has a good point. And if you asked me to support your MLM business I might want to ignore you too.

No one who works for an MLM actually refers to it as an MLM. They always have creative descriptors about their innovative company with amazing growth opportunities. That’s been the biggest tell that this is a troll.

Not true. Some people actually know it’s a MLM but they like the products and sign up.

said no one ever.

[Anonymous]

this is a troll, guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

She sounds like she’s jealous of the grand kids and won’t even do a small gesture of sharing the videos with her husband.

Lol. No. It sounds like mil set a boundary and is sticking to it. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

But you are contacting his Dad thru MIL. You're not making any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just sent her a few videos of my kids on Facebook messenger and said to please share with FIL. She responds “it seems like your phone is functioning just fine. Why don’t you text him yourself?” To which I said DH doesn’t like me contacting his dad and she wrote back “That’s between you and DH. I’m not your messenger. Every time you message me, it’s a directive to buy something or show FIL videos of DH drunk or your kids. It’s honestly rubbing me the wrong way that you don’t even ask about me but contact me with instructions every single time. You have FIL’s cell phone so you can send him the videos directly.” I’m annoyed that she couldn’t just say ok but had to lecture me like this. Do I tell FIL?

She sounds like she’s jealous of the grand kids and won’t even do a small gesture of sharing the videos with her husband.

Lol. No. It sounds like mil set a boundary and is sticking to it. Good for her.

This. OP could make the small gesture of sharing directly.