My gf slept with someone while we were broken up. Now I’m unsure if I want to be with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were ON A BREAK! Plus, YOU DID THE SAME DAMN THING! Holy double-standard, Batman!

You deserve to be alone.

I told her to give me a few days to think it over and she flipped. She said she wasn’t going to wait for someone to do with her life especially when I had slept with someone. That either I was 100% or 100% out. I said I was unsure again and she stormed out.

I thought it was unfair of her not to give me a few days to think.

This is not a situation where anyone did anything that wrong. It was okay to be separated for awhile, it was okay to see and/or sleep with other people while apart, it was okay to get back together, it was okay for you to have doubts, and it was okay for her to reconsider and not want to wait on you.

OP, it's probably over, and nobody is the bad guy. It just didn't work.

Meh. OP is kind of the bad guy. If you break up with someone, it’s okay to get back together. However the mind games OP is playing are not okay and it’s probably the reason for the original break up.

What mind games? If he doesn’t want to move forward that’s his right.

NP but asking if she slept with anyone while she was single and then punishing her for telling the truth because 1) she had sex too soon (slutty!) and/or/but 2) she must have really liked the guy (not slutty, too emotionally available?), but really 3) he's mad she beat him off the blocks. . . if it's not mind games it's just extreme immaturity. Plus, he didn't say he didn't want to move forward, he said he wants 3 days to think it over. That's very manipulative.

Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, and don't demand fidelity from someone you're not in a relationship with. He sounds like he only asked her if she slept with someone so he could tell her that he did, hoping for a reaction or to seem like he's got options, and is pouting because it didn't work out that way.

[Anonymous]

You're not mature enough to be in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were ON A BREAK! Plus, YOU DID THE SAME DAMN THING! Holy double-standard, Batman!

You deserve to be alone.

I told her to give me a few days to think it over and she flipped. She said she wasn’t going to wait for someone to do with her life especially when I had slept with someone. That either I was 100% or 100% out. I said I was unsure again and she stormed out.

I thought it was unfair of her not to give me a few days to think.

Dumb move. I hope you know, she's already banged that other guy again. But this time, she won't tell you.

Why would you say that she already “banged” the guy? All because she slept with him before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’m surprised she even answered your question. You broke up. You have no business asking or knowing what she did with her body and her life while you were broken up.

I bet she answered because she suspected OP would have this reaction. This was an opportunity for OP to demonstrated maturity and 'growth'. OP did not and this reinforces the XGF's decision to tell him to f@ck off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were ON A BREAK! Plus, YOU DID THE SAME DAMN THING! Holy double-standard, Batman!

You deserve to be alone.

I told her to give me a few days to think it over and she flipped. She said she wasn’t going to wait for someone to do with her life especially when I had slept with someone. That either I was 100% or 100% out. I said I was unsure again and she stormed out.

I thought it was unfair of her not to give me a few days to think.

This is not a situation where anyone did anything that wrong. It was okay to be separated for awhile, it was okay to see and/or sleep with other people while apart, it was okay to get back together, it was okay for you to have doubts, and it was okay for her to reconsider and not want to wait on you.

OP, it's probably over, and nobody is the bad guy. It just didn't work.

Meh. OP is kind of the bad guy. If you break up with someone, it’s okay to get back together. However the mind games OP is playing are not okay and it’s probably the reason for the original break up.

What mind games? If he doesn’t want to move forward that’s his right.

NP but asking if she slept with anyone while she was single and then punishing her for telling the truth because 1) she had sex too soon (slutty!) and/or/but 2) she must have really liked the guy (not slutty, too emotionally available?), but really 3) he's mad she beat him off the blocks. . . if it's not mind games it's just extreme immaturity. Plus, he didn't say he didn't want to move forward, he said he wants 3 days to think it over. That's very manipulative.

Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, and don't demand fidelity from someone you're not in a relationship with. He sounds like he only asked her if she slept with someone so he could tell her that he did, hoping for a reaction or to seem like he's got options, and is pouting because it didn't work out that way.

Another NP. This is spot on. It really wasn't any of OP's business whether is XGF slept with someone or not. A person's worth should not be measured by their abstaining from sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were ON A BREAK! Plus, YOU DID THE SAME DAMN THING! Holy double-standard, Batman!

You deserve to be alone.

I told her to give me a few days to think it over and she flipped. She said she wasn’t going to wait for someone to do with her life especially when I had slept with someone. That either I was 100% or 100% out. I said I was unsure again and she stormed out.

I thought it was unfair of her not to give me a few days to think.

Again, you deserve to be alone. You can have a one night stand, but she can't? Can't you see how that's a double standard and hypocritical of you? It was unfair of YOU to judge her. She deserves better.

I just want to point out that this is something you should have asked. Not told. You don't get to dictate the terms here. She was right to storm out. She did nothing wrong and she was honest with you. If she gets back together with you then I'll say she's in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’m surprised she even answered your question. You broke up. You have no business asking or knowing what she did with her body and her life while you were broken up.

I bet she answered because she suspected OP would have this reaction. This was an opportunity for OP to demonstrated maturity and 'growth'. OP did not and this reinforces the XGF's decision to tell him to f@ck off.

She didn’t want to. She started off saying let’s not discuss what happened while we were apart. I knew she had and I told her she needed to be honest with me

[Anonymous]

You're being a jerk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’m surprised she even answered your question. You broke up. You have no business asking or knowing what she did with her body and her life while you were broken up.

I bet she answered because she suspected OP would have this reaction. This was an opportunity for OP to demonstrated maturity and 'growth'. OP did not and this reinforces the XGF's decision to tell him to f@ck off.

She didn’t want to. She started off saying let’s not discuss what happened while we were apart. I knew she had and I told her she needed to be honest with me

So, you knew she had seen someone else after you broke up. She, quite reasonably, didn't want to discuss it, but you really did, and then you were upset when she was honest, and then you're upset because she didn't want to hang around while you decided whether or not you could "accept" that (like you) she slept with someone else after you broke up? You're exhausting.

[Anonymous]

The other side:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/lv4twj/my_exbf_broke_up_months_ago_we_both_slept_other/

[Anonymous]

Wait, should she have spent months pining for you and remained single and celibate in case you deigned that you wanted to come back? What sort of a pathetic woman does this and why would you want one of those?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other side:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/lv4twj/my_exbf_broke_up_months_ago_we_both_slept_other/

Amazing find!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, should she have spent months pining for you and remained single and celibate in case you deigned that you wanted to come back? What sort of a pathetic woman does this and why would you want one of those?

I’m not saying she should’ve waited but what does that mean if she can quickly hop into bed with someone else? She couldn’t have really cared about us if she did that so soon.

[Anonymous]

This has to be the same OP. you are probably the girlfriend. Both of you need to grow up.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/949220.page

[Anonymous]

You’re an asshole. You deserve to be alone. Please do the rest of society a favor and stick with the much needed therapy and stay single for a LONG time.