Custody Issue - Pendente Lite VS. Divorce Decree - Help!

[Anonymous]

If exclusively breastfed babies can see their dads every week, there is no reason you can’t see your daughter every week. Your lawyer is horrible. Maybe your daughter needs therapy to feel comfortable in her own bed. Did you’re lawyer not bring that up?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, either get a new attorney or get used to it and that visitation you do have will slowly disappear as she'll alienate your daughter more from you and have her go to court saying she doesn't want to see you anymore. This is very typical of the courts. Not much you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If exclusively breastfed babies can see their dads every week, there is no reason you can’t see your daughter every week. Your lawyer is horrible. Maybe your daughter needs therapy to feel comfortable in her own bed. Did you’re lawyer not bring that up?

OP is getting to see his daughter every week, just not for as much time as he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should interview a bunch of lawyers, ask them what you can do, and ask them what their experience has been with this particular judge. Use it as a double-check on what your lawyer is doing/saying.

People can sit on here and say the decision "doesn't make sense" but the fact is, one judge can do things that make no sense. It may not be the usual, common, or average outcome, but it can still be your outcome if you get an unusual, quirky, non-average judge. Which happens.

+1. You need some expert advice here and people here really aren't qualified to give it to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

I initiated the divorce and we agreed to keep it out of court. She said she wanted me to take the lead on everything since I was the one wanting the divorce. She wanted me to draft the separation agreement and file the necessary papers. I don't think she realized that I was serious about moving forward with the divorce.

Once DW realized that things were serious and we really were moving towards divorce she became extremely manipulative and began alienating me from my daughter. DW lied and went back on everything that we had agreed upon. She lawyered up thereby forcing me to lawyer up.

We were on track for a no fault divorce after the year separation period. After months of going back and forth between the lawyers and not getting anywhere she and her lawyer filed for an at fault divorce and pendent lite hearing.

She told her lawyer so many lies at every turn. If you have never dealt with a narcissist before you are very lucky. The lies and manipulation and emotional abuse are enough to make you question your sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

Then it sounds like your focus should be on your daughter's well being and helping her adjust. Is your daughter in any kind of counseling, individual or family?

The more likely scenario is that DW is creating a make believe narrative so support her having full custody. Even if DD is having issues adjusting (any child would), asking for full custody will actually give DD MORE ISSUES adjusting. I can't understand how some mothers don't see this.

BINGO.

Op here this is exactly what's going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

I initiated the divorce and we agreed to keep it out of court. She said she wanted me to take the lead on everything since I was the one wanting the divorce. She wanted me to draft the separation agreement and file the necessary papers. I don't think she realized that I was serious about moving forward with the divorce.

Once DW realized that things were serious and we really were moving towards divorce she became extremely manipulative and began alienating me from my daughter. DW lied and went back on everything that we had agreed upon. She lawyered up thereby forcing me to lawyer up.

We were on track for a no fault divorce after the year separation period. After months of going back and forth between the lawyers and not getting anywhere she and her lawyer filed for an at fault divorce and pendent lite hearing.

She told her lawyer so many lies at every turn. If you have never dealt with a narcissist before you are very lucky. The lies and manipulation and emotional abuse are enough to make you question your sanity.

Okay so there’s a lot to unpack here...but basically you couldn’t agree on terms, she blindsided you by filing for a fault divorce (for which you don’t contest the fault grounds - obviously she has something on you), you probably don’t have a good lawyer and you got a shitty judge. Interview more lawyers and see where the consensus lies. Stay the course and get ready to fight your case hard during your divorce litigation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

I initiated the divorce and we agreed to keep it out of court. She said she wanted me to take the lead on everything since I was the one wanting the divorce. She wanted me to draft the separation agreement and file the necessary papers. I don't think she realized that I was serious about moving forward with the divorce.

Once DW realized that things were serious and we really were moving towards divorce she became extremely manipulative and began alienating me from my daughter. DW lied and went back on everything that we had agreed upon. She lawyered up thereby forcing me to lawyer up.

We were on track for a no fault divorce after the year separation period. After months of going back and forth between the lawyers and not getting anywhere she and her lawyer filed for an at fault divorce and pendent lite hearing.

She told her lawyer so many lies at every turn. If you have never dealt with a narcissist before you are very lucky. The lies and manipulation and emotional abuse are enough to make you question your sanity.

What jurisdiction are you in? In most places you can't file for a fault-based divorce on the grounds of adultery without independent corroboration of the adultery (e.g., emails between you and the AP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If exclusively breastfed babies can see their dads every week, there is no reason you can’t see your daughter every week. Your lawyer is horrible. Maybe your daughter needs therapy to feel comfortable in her own bed. Did you’re lawyer not bring that up?

OP is getting to see his daughter every week, just not for as much time as he wants.

LOL, not sure if serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

I initiated the divorce and we agreed to keep it out of court. She said she wanted me to take the lead on everything since I was the one wanting the divorce. She wanted me to draft the separation agreement and file the necessary papers. I don't think she realized that I was serious about moving forward with the divorce.

Once DW realized that things were serious and we really were moving towards divorce she became extremely manipulative and began alienating me from my daughter. DW lied and went back on everything that we had agreed upon. She lawyered up thereby forcing me to lawyer up.

We were on track for a no fault divorce after the year separation period. After months of going back and forth between the lawyers and not getting anywhere she and her lawyer filed for an at fault divorce and pendent lite hearing.

She told her lawyer so many lies at every turn. If you have never dealt with a narcissist before you are very lucky. The lies and manipulation and emotional abuse are enough to make you question your sanity.

What jurisdiction are you in? In most places you can't file for a fault-based divorce on the grounds of adultery without independent corroboration of the adultery (e.g., emails between you and the AP).

Also very strange if they have already been separated for a year or close to a year. Really the only reason you would do this, practically, would be to waive the waiting period. I can’t see what OP’s ex is gaining from this - but I also can’t tell if OP is only giving selective facts because so much doesn’t add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If exclusively breastfed babies can see their dads every week, there is no reason you can’t see your daughter every week. Your lawyer is horrible. Maybe your daughter needs therapy to feel comfortable in her own bed. Did you’re lawyer not bring that up?

OP is getting to see his daughter every week, just not for as much time as he wants.

LOL, not sure if serious.

Per OP, part of the order was one weeknight visit per week in addition to every other weekend.

[Anonymous]

You're a cheater. Deal with it. When you chose to cheat, you chose to jeapordize your family and your ties to them--and that includes your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

I initiated the divorce and we agreed to keep it out of court. She said she wanted me to take the lead on everything since I was the one wanting the divorce. She wanted me to draft the separation agreement and file the necessary papers. I don't think she realized that I was serious about moving forward with the divorce.

Once DW realized that things were serious and we really were moving towards divorce she became extremely manipulative and began alienating me from my daughter. DW lied and went back on everything that we had agreed upon. She lawyered up thereby forcing me to lawyer up.

We were on track for a no fault divorce after the year separation period. After months of going back and forth between the lawyers and not getting anywhere she and her lawyer filed for an at fault divorce and pendent lite hearing.

She told her lawyer so many lies at every turn. If you have never dealt with a narcissist before you are very lucky. The lies and manipulation and emotional abuse are enough to make you question your sanity.

What jurisdiction are you in? In most places you can't file for a fault-based divorce on the grounds of adultery without independent corroboration of the adultery (e.g., emails between you and the AP).

Prince William.

It's more than likely going to end up being a no fault divorce because she basically just took everything and threw it against the wall to see what would stick, including lies. A lot of lies that she told we unpacked during the pendente lite which is the reason I believe she didn't get any of the other stuff she was asking for alimony, spousal support, lawyer fees, lump sum payments, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're a cheater. Deal with it. When you chose to cheat, you chose to jeapordize your family and your ties to them--and that includes your daughter.

THIS. Stoping thinking with your dick. Oh, wait, too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

I initiated the divorce and we agreed to keep it out of court. She said she wanted me to take the lead on everything since I was the one wanting the divorce. She wanted me to draft the separation agreement and file the necessary papers. I don't think she realized that I was serious about moving forward with the divorce.

Once DW realized that things were serious and we really were moving towards divorce she became extremely manipulative and began alienating me from my daughter. DW lied and went back on everything that we had agreed upon. She lawyered up thereby forcing me to lawyer up.

We were on track for a no fault divorce after the year separation period. After months of going back and forth between the lawyers and not getting anywhere she and her lawyer filed for an at fault divorce and pendent lite hearing.

She told her lawyer so many lies at every turn. If you have never dealt with a narcissist before you are very lucky. The lies and manipulation and emotional abuse are enough to make you question your sanity.

What jurisdiction are you in? In most places you can't file for a fault-based divorce on the grounds of adultery without independent corroboration of the adultery (e.g., emails between you and the AP).

Prince William.

It's more than likely going to end up being a no fault divorce because she basically just took everything and threw it against the wall to see what would stick, including lies. A lot of lies that she told we unpacked during the pendente lite which is the reason I believe she didn't get any of the other stuff she was asking for alimony, spousal support, lawyer fees, lump sum payments, etc

So now you're changing your story and you didn't cheat?