Custody Issue - Pendente Lite VS. Divorce Decree - Help!

[Anonymous]

Why?

[Anonymous]

I only feel for your daughter in all of this.

You knew what you were doing while you were out there "faulting."

Your wife is smart. You, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only feel for your daughter in all of this.

You knew what you were doing while you were out there "faulting."

Your wife is smart. You, not so much.

Disagree. His STBXW is the dim one - she is trying to bring him down at the expense of her daughter. If you think that's "smart", then that is reflective of you.

OP, get a new lawyer. I disagree with the judge saying that this is the norm these days - in fact, from anecdotal stories, 50-50 is becoming the norm. Frustrated for you. The custody stuff is tough but then on top of that the alimony crap? Seesus.

If at the end of the day, the judge maintains the ruling, I'm sorry. Heal yourself, be a good dad when you can. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

That doesn't provide any context on the reason for the divorce.

[Anonymous]

I would take a look at the guidelines used to calculate the child support as it seems high given that she makes substantially more than you. Perhaps aftercare + summer camps are really expensive or you guys have really expensive health insurance? Either way, the childcare portion of the child support will drop off soon when your child turns 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP.

But none of this makes sense in this area. What relevant information are you hiding?

You and your lawyer would have to be incompetent to get such a result, all other things being equal. Not even every weekend? Come on now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

The fault grounds shouldn’t matter when it comes to custody, so they’re not really relevant. However, what they are relevant to is why there was no signed separation agreement and/or negotiation BEFORE a pendente lite hearing. It should have never gotten to that point. Since it did, I’m afraid OP is in for a long long road ahead of him with his ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

When will women on this site learn?

It doesn't matter why their marriage fell apart. IT IS NOT THE KID'S fault. She needs her father.

Signed,

A divorced mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry, OP.

But none of this makes sense in this area. What relevant information are you hiding?

You and your lawyer would have to be incompetent to get such a result, all other things being equal. Not even every weekend? Come on now.

OP’s attorney must be at least somewhat incompetent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

The fault grounds shouldn’t matter when it comes to custody, so they’re not really relevant. However, what they are relevant to is why there was no signed separation agreement and/or negotiation BEFORE a pendente lite hearing. It should have never gotten to that point. Since it did, I’m afraid OP is in for a long long road ahead of him with his ex.

Abuse toward the wife isn't technically relevant to a custody determination, but if the child witnessed the abuse and/or OP has behaved in questionable manner toward the child, that can be grounds for a judge limiting his access to the child. Especially if the child has expressed a preference not to spend time with her father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

The fault grounds shouldn’t matter when it comes to custody, so they’re not really relevant. However, what they are relevant to is why there was no signed separation agreement and/or negotiation BEFORE a pendente lite hearing. It should have never gotten to that point. Since it did, I’m afraid OP is in for a long long road ahead of him with his ex.

Abuse toward the wife isn't technically relevant to a custody determination, but if the child witnessed the abuse and/or OP has behaved in questionable manner toward the child, that can be grounds for a judge limiting his access to the child. Especially if the child has expressed a preference not to spend time with her father.

Op here there is no abuse and the child never expressed not wanting to spend time with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

The fault grounds shouldn’t matter when it comes to custody, so they’re not really relevant. However, what they are relevant to is why there was no signed separation agreement and/or negotiation BEFORE a pendente lite hearing. It should have never gotten to that point. Since it did, I’m afraid OP is in for a long long road ahead of him with his ex.

Abuse toward the wife isn't technically relevant to a custody determination, but if the child witnessed the abuse and/or OP has behaved in questionable manner toward the child, that can be grounds for a judge limiting his access to the child. Especially if the child has expressed a preference not to spend time with her father.

OP isn’t saying purposely, but if you read between the lines it is pretty clearly adultery.