Custody Issue - Pendente Lite VS. Divorce Decree - Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

The fault grounds shouldn’t matter when it comes to custody, so they’re not really relevant. However, what they are relevant to is why there was no signed separation agreement and/or negotiation BEFORE a pendente lite hearing. It should have never gotten to that point. Since it did, I’m afraid OP is in for a long long road ahead of him with his ex.

Abuse toward the wife isn't technically relevant to a custody determination, but if the child witnessed the abuse and/or OP has behaved in questionable manner toward the child, that can be grounds for a judge limiting his access to the child. Especially if the child has expressed a preference not to spend time with her father.

OP isn’t saying purposely, but if you read between the lines it is pretty clearly adultery.

Correct but it still doesn't warrant the punitive nature of the divorce settlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

The fault grounds shouldn’t matter when it comes to custody, so they’re not really relevant. However, what they are relevant to is why there was no signed separation agreement and/or negotiation BEFORE a pendente lite hearing. It should have never gotten to that point. Since it did, I’m afraid OP is in for a long long road ahead of him with his ex.

Abuse toward the wife isn't technically relevant to a custody determination, but if the child witnessed the abuse and/or OP has behaved in questionable manner toward the child, that can be grounds for a judge limiting his access to the child. Especially if the child has expressed a preference not to spend time with her father.

OP isn’t saying purposely, but if you read between the lines it is pretty clearly adultery.

Correct but it still doesn't warrant the punitive nature of the divorce settlement.

It absolutely doesn’t warrant it. But unfortunately it really upset your ex and that’s why you are in this position. What the judge ordered was not fair, but unfortunately when you can’t agree and go to trial you get what you get. It sucks and I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Did you guys do this in the JDR court or in the circuit court? If it is just a JDR ruling appeal it ASAP to the circuit court for a de novo review. The window for appeals is very short (usually like ten days) so hurry up and file if you haven't done so already.

[Anonymous]

I think its messed up that you're bitching about $900 child support. All that does is make you look like an ass in court. If the tables were turned you wouldn't be solely funding all of dd's expenses so why should your ex have to?

Of all the issues on your file let that one go. It is not going to help your case to try to lower that. $900 is low.

If you had to pay her alimony gripe away but complaining about CS is not a good. Hopefully you haven't asked the courts to lower it or complained about it in writing to your ex. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you guys do this in the JDR court or in the circuit court? If it is just a JDR ruling appeal it ASAP to the circuit court for a de novo review. The window for appeals is very short (usually like ten days) so hurry up and file if you haven't done so already.

It was circuit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its messed up that you're bitching about $900 child support. All that does is make you look like an ass in court. If the tables were turned you wouldn't be solely funding all of dd's expenses so why should your ex have to?

Of all the issues on your file let that one go. It is not going to help your case to try to lower that. $900 is low.

If you had to pay her alimony gripe away but complaining about CS is not a good. Hopefully you haven't asked the courts to lower it or complained about it in writing to your ex. Just wow.

Wtf. Op never complained about paying child support. The issue is that his daughter has been taken away from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its messed up that you're bitching about $900 child support. All that does is make you look like an ass in court. If the tables were turned you wouldn't be solely funding all of dd's expenses so why should your ex have to?

Of all the issues on your file let that one go. It is not going to help your case to try to lower that. $900 is low.

If you had to pay her alimony gripe away but complaining about CS is not a good. Hopefully you haven't asked the courts to lower it or complained about it in writing to your ex. Just wow.

Wtf. Op never complained about paying child support. The issue is that his daughter has been taken away from him.

Uh yes he did, in the OP. Stressed the income difference and immediately after saying the judge ordered him to pay child support says he us shocked and can't wrap his mind around this. Did you read the OP???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its messed up that you're bitching about $900 child support. All that does is make you look like an ass in court. If the tables were turned you wouldn't be solely funding all of dd's expenses so why should your ex have to?

Of all the issues on your file let that one go. It is not going to help your case to try to lower that. $900 is low.

If you had to pay her alimony gripe away but complaining about CS is not a good. Hopefully you haven't asked the courts to lower it or complained about it in writing to your ex. Just wow.

Wtf. Op never complained about paying child support. The issue is that his daughter has been taken away from him.

Uh yes he did, in the OP. Stressed the income difference and immediately after saying the judge ordered him to pay child support says he us shocked and can't wrap his mind around this. Did you read the OP???

NP here but pretty sure the bolded relates to the whole situation, i.e. that he received so little time with his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its messed up that you're bitching about $900 child support. All that does is make you look like an ass in court. If the tables were turned you wouldn't be solely funding all of dd's expenses so why should your ex have to?

Of all the issues on your file let that one go. It is not going to help your case to try to lower that. $900 is low.

If you had to pay her alimony gripe away but complaining about CS is not a good. Hopefully you haven't asked the courts to lower it or complained about it in writing to your ex. Just wow.

Wtf. Op never complained about paying child support. The issue is that his daughter has been taken away from him.

Uh yes he did, in the OP. Stressed the income difference and immediately after saying the judge ordered him to pay child support says he us shocked and can't wrap his mind around this. Did you read the OP???

NP here but pretty sure the bolded relates to the whole situation, i.e. that he received so little time with his kid.

+1 didn’t get the sense there were any complaints with CS, just the child support. I understand being shocked that a judge would rule something so dramatic re: physical custody, especially when “the norm” is supposed to be 50/50. However, what I don’t understand is being shocked when your ex-spouse who has grounds for a fault divorce decides to go scorched earth on you and wants everything she can possibly get. It’s not right, but far from surprising.

[Anonymous]

*just the custody

[Anonymous]

I don't know. Why would he mention the amount if he was good with it? Unless he is saying he is thankful it is so low. Which I doubt.
Saying that he's up to date on CS is enough. Also why would he stress the income disparity. I bet he thought he wouldn't have to pay CS or thought it would be much much lower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you guys do this in the JDR court or in the circuit court? If it is just a JDR ruling appeal it ASAP to the circuit court for a de novo review. The window for appeals is very short (usually like ten days) so hurry up and file if you haven't done so already.

It was circuit

Sorry to hear that, I think this is going to be the tough part for you. There is a minimum one year separation period if you have children plus this woman will probably try to delay the process as long as possible and every day she delays is a day longer with this custody arrangement and with her income she can certainly outspend you on attorney fees.

Have you talked with your attorney about petitioning the court to appoint a GAL? If they have already appointed a GAL have you spoken with him/her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Too much to recap but I came on here to ask for help about what to do back when we were both living in the same house.
Here's the backstory:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/728320.page

Yikes. Your DW is a lunatic and is damaging your DD. Very sad. Is your DD reasonable well balanced or is she inheriting bad traits from the horrible behavior of your DW? If she's a well balanced kid, keep up whatever you're doing b/c she's going to need it.

Unless the divorce is due to abuse by OP. OP is refusing to discuss the fault-based grounds for a reason.

When will women on this site learn?

It doesn't matter why their marriage fell apart. IT IS NOT THE KID'S fault. She needs her father.

DP

Well, it looks like it mattered to the judge in this case. The judge seems to think it will be in the child's best interest to only spend every other weekend with her father.

OP is purposefully withholding information that would help us understand why.

This is not a run of he mill adultery case.

Signed,

A divorced mom

[Anonymous]

Splitting weekends makes sense, the question is why the limited schedule during the week. Where do you live relative to them? If you’re a distance from your chuld’s school, friends, activities, etc., the judge may have felt that her being with mom and most of the time would be least disruptive because it would let your daughter have stability in the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?