Custody Issue - Pendente Lite VS. Divorce Decree - Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Splitting weekends makes sense, the question is why the limited schedule during the week. Where do you live relative to them? If you’re a distance from your chuld’s school, friends, activities, etc., the judge may have felt that her being with mom and most of the time would be least disruptive because it would let your daughter have stability in the rest of her life.

I live 5 mins away from old house.

DW moved 10 mins away from old house and out of DD's school district.

It is my address keeping child in same district thereby allowing her to remain at same school with her same friends and activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

Then it sounds like your focus should be on your daughter's well being and helping her adjust. Is your daughter in any kind of counseling, individual or family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Splitting weekends makes sense, the question is why the limited schedule during the week. Where do you live relative to them? If you’re a distance from your chuld’s school, friends, activities, etc., the judge may have felt that her being with mom and most of the time would be least disruptive because it would let your daughter have stability in the rest of her life.

I live 5 mins away from old house.

DW moved 10 mins away from old house and out of DD's school district.

It is my address keeping child in same district thereby allowing her to remain at same school with her same friends and activities.

I agree with others that you are withholding something here. Otherwise, this makes very little sense to anyone on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Splitting weekends makes sense, the question is why the limited schedule during the week. Where do you live relative to them? If you’re a distance from your chuld’s school, friends, activities, etc., the judge may have felt that her being with mom and most of the time would be least disruptive because it would let your daughter have stability in the rest of her life.

I live 5 mins away from old house.

DW moved 10 mins away from old house and out of DD's school district.

It is my address keeping child in same district thereby allowing her to remain at same school with her same friends and activities.

Won’t your school residency rules require that she must use the same address where she lives at least 50% of the time, which means she’d have to spend more nights at your house to keep staying at the same school- use that argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

Then it sounds like your focus should be on your daughter's well being and helping her adjust. Is your daughter in any kind of counseling, individual or family?

DW is lying. She has told a bunch of lies throughout the process and my lawyer even exposed them in court in front of the judge.

To answer your question though yes DD is in individual counseling.

[Anonymous]

You should interview a bunch of lawyers, ask them what you can do, and ask them what their experience has been with this particular judge. Use it as a double-check on what your lawyer is doing/saying.

People can sit on here and say the decision "doesn't make sense" but the fact is, one judge can do things that make no sense. It may not be the usual, common, or average outcome, but it can still be your outcome if you get an unusual, quirky, non-average judge. Which happens.

[Anonymous]

Please find a new lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Splitting weekends makes sense, the question is why the limited schedule during the week. Where do you live relative to them? If you’re a distance from your chuld’s school, friends, activities, etc., the judge may have felt that her being with mom and most of the time would be least disruptive because it would let your daughter have stability in the rest of her life.

I live 5 mins away from old house.

DW moved 10 mins away from old house and out of DD's school district.

It is my address keeping child in same district thereby allowing her to remain at same school with her same friends and activities.

Won’t your school residency rules require that she must use the same address where she lives at least 50% of the time, which means she’d have to spend more nights at your house to keep staying at the same school- use that argument.

Thanks. I will look into this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

Then it sounds like your focus should be on your daughter's well being and helping her adjust. Is your daughter in any kind of counseling, individual or family?

DW is lying. She has told a bunch of lies throughout the process and my lawyer even exposed them in court in front of the judge.

To answer your question though yes DD is in individual counseling.

Then it sounds like you need to request a GAL to make an independent assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should interview a bunch of lawyers, ask them what you can do, and ask them what their experience has been with this particular judge. Use it as a double-check on what your lawyer is doing/saying.

People can sit on here and say the decision "doesn't make sense" but the fact is, one judge can do things that make no sense. It may not be the usual, common, or average outcome, but it can still be your outcome if you get an unusual, quirky, non-average judge. Which happens.

IMO OP’s attorney is stupid for letting it get to a pendente lite hearing if indeed we are hearing all of the facts correctly. So much missed room for negotiation, and now a precedent. What an idiot. Hard to know though because OP seems to enjoy playing the victim and he’s certainly not innocent here.

[Anonymous]

I think the fact (from your other post) that your daughter has always slept in the same bed as her mother probably didn't help your case. I can see how it would be hard on your daughter to stay with you, given she has always co-slept and her mother isn't supportive of changing that or involving you.

Does your daughter have any anxiety issues?

[Anonymous]

Your earlier thread about the house sharing situation implied that you were the one initiating the divorce, but here you say she's the one who initiated a fault-based divorce due to adultery? What's going on here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

Then it sounds like your focus should be on your daughter's well being and helping her adjust. Is your daughter in any kind of counseling, individual or family?

The more likely scenario is that DW is creating a make believe narrative so support her having full custody. Even if DD is having issues adjusting (any child would), asking for full custody will actually give DD MORE ISSUES adjusting. I can't understand how some mothers don't see this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your ex must have submitted a brief in support of those requests, what were her arguments in favor of the visitation arrangement?

DW said that DD is having a hard time with the adjustment and that spending nights at my house mid week would be disruptive to DD's schedule.

Then it sounds like your focus should be on your daughter's well being and helping her adjust. Is your daughter in any kind of counseling, individual or family?

The more likely scenario is that DW is creating a make believe narrative so support her having full custody. Even if DD is having issues adjusting (any child would), asking for full custody will actually give DD MORE ISSUES adjusting. I can't understand how some mothers don't see this.

I think if OP's daughter is aware that her family is breaking up because dad couldn't keep his dick in his pants, it would be surprising if she *didn't* feel some anger and resentment toward him.