He went out to lunch with another woman and lied about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, probably nothing is going on. Men and women do have lunch for business reasons all the time. My own husband does it. He has female coworkers he texts from time to time. It doesn't bother me because this is totally normal behavior.

You, on the other hand, pore over his FB to the extent you notice someone new, and just because she's a woman, go stalk her page and make up your mind that she's pretty and wants your man. They meet for a business lunch, he doesn't tell you because he knows that you're a jealous nut, and you find out because OF COURSE you have to go into his phone and read his texts ON YOUR BIRTHDAY and he knows he's found out. And you blow up over a work lunch and she probably doesn't want your dude anyway.

fyi When you post things publicly it's not stalking lol. From hardly knowing the woman to finding texts they went out isn't innocent. Then he goes to the lengths to delete them is just ignoring the warning signs.

Ok if you want to quibble with the word "stalking" that's fine. But she doesn't know that woman and yet she still pored over her FB profile and her pictures and statuses because she... tangentially knows OP's boyfriend. Meanwhile, she probably wants nothing to do with this guy who has kids with an ex and a girlfriend. Seriously. Now OP blew up her relationship over a girl who probably gives 0% thought to OP's boyfriend outside of their rare work interactions.

Not PP you are responding to but I agree with her completely. And it doesn't matter if the woman wants OP's boyfriend or not- she didn't blow her relationship up because of her, she blew it up because he's acting shady and suspicious and lying. And that's a good reason to blow something up because what's the alternative- waiting around until he crushes on a woman who likes him back? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know it wasn't a business lunch. He wouldn't have lied about it if it was.

You know that you should not trust him.

Stay with him if you want, but don't live in denial.

Yep it's that simple, called it like it was.

I wonder why she's wasted so much time at her age. After 3-6 mo I know if it's going toward marriage. If he doesn't want that, I move on to someone who does. What you need to do OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know it wasn't a business lunch. He wouldn't have lied about it if it was.

You know that you should not trust him.

Stay with him if you want, but don't live in denial.

OP here.

Hmmm I had been believing him that it was business only--but it seems a few of you think it wasn't.

FWIW, he said that it was a waste of time--he had been under the impression that she had contacts/information about a specific project he is considering, but it turned out she doesn't. He also said she came across as a nitwit.

The fact that many of you think it wasn't a business lunch....makes me wonder if he was hoping for more, she wasn't into it...so now he's just trying to salvage what is left with me?

[Anonymous]

OP again

Oh, and I looked at her FB page for posts after this lunch---he still "Liked" a couple of her self glorifying posts on Saturday and Sunday--so after their lunch but before I found out about it.

[Anonymous]

OP, the opinions here are varied, and coming fast and hot back at you.
I do find it odd that you both have kids, say "I love you" to one another, and yet have never met each other's kids?!?! That is weird.
Meanwhile: how old are you, and the boyfriend? If you were both teenagers, this wacky and sad tale would seem reasonable. The 'other woman' sounds like she is 16, and, sadly, she gets a break from all this. She sounds like a nut, but, she posts publicly about!!! What other conclusion could one arrive at?!
You, and your snooping, again, weird. Don't you have anything better to do with your time? What happens it if WAS just lunch, and JUST business? I do commend you for reading the comments from some of the posters, and agreeing on some of their points.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he didn't tell you because he was worried about you overreacting. Like now?

[Anonymous]

You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god
Op
Seriously
My husband bad lunch all the time with people who may have connections to a contract or program he's chasing. Sometimes they don't and he drops them, just like your boyfriend said. Sometimes they do and he teams with them. He's never fucked any of them, amazingly!!! Do you really think men and women cannot interact without it being a sexual thing? That's pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the opinions here are varied, and coming fast and hot back at you.
I do find it odd that you both have kids, say "I love you" to one another, and yet have never met each other's kids?!?! That is weird.
Meanwhile: how old are you, and the boyfriend? If you were both teenagers, this wacky and sad tale would seem reasonable. The 'other woman' sounds like she is 16, and, sadly, she gets a break from all this. She sounds like a nut, but, she posts publicly about!!! What other conclusion could one arrive at?!
You, and your snooping, again, weird. Don't you have anything better to do with your time? What happens it if WAS just lunch, and JUST business? I do commend you for reading the comments from some of the posters, and agreeing on some of their points.

Boyfriend and I are in early 40s, she is in her late 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

Great, now Op's just going to go look at all the women he knows on LinkedIn and find them on FB too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Isn't it against the law to be on Facebook when you are above 40?|!??!?!?! Look how it has affected you, and your relationship. Get off the computer, and go outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though