He went out to lunch with another woman and lied about it.

[Anonymous]

If he let you read through all their texts and you found nothing, then it is extremely likely that nothing is going on.

He probably lied to avoid upsetting you, as others have suggested. It's not okay, but it's understandable.

I think you should be asking yourself why you are feeling so insecure in this relationship that you're poring over this woman's facebook and grilling your boyfriend to where it starts a fight. Asking about her seems reasonable but that ending in a long fight doesn't. Are you generally insecure or is something missing from this relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though

As she should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he let you read through all their texts and you found nothing, then it is extremely likely that nothing is going on.

He probably lied to avoid upsetting you, as others have suggested. It's not okay, but it's understandable.

I think you should be asking yourself why you are feeling so insecure in this relationship that you're poring over this woman's facebook and grilling your boyfriend to where it starts a fight. Asking about her seems reasonable but that ending in a long fight doesn't. Are you generally insecure or is something missing from this relationship?

Initially he said he hadn't talked to her since they met. Then when caught in a lie about texting her he said he didn't keep track of every text and email but that was it. THEN, when OP was looking at his texts he admitted to going to lunch with her because that evidence was in the texts.
None of that is ok, innocent, or the result of someone lying because OP might be upset.

[Anonymous]

For me it goes back to the very beginning, when OP noticed that he had a new FB friend and she started grilling him about her. Who does that? That is not a trusting relationship.

Only OP knows if that lack of trust is due to her jealous nature/bad history or his shadiness. Figure that out and it will be clear if you need to dump him or get some therapy to put yourself in a good place.

[Anonymous]

OP, why did your previous marriages end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though

As she should.

Yeah because a great way for a woman to spend her time is cross referencing FB acquaintances with LinkedIn contacts and gauging whether she's ever heard of some of them and if so, what the story about their contact is

[Anonymous]

I value my sanity too much to resort to espionage tactics to get a handle on what's going on with my significant other. If you gotta do all this spying and snooping and prying OP then you may as well break it off now cause its not gonna get any better regardless of whether you find anything or not.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm going to ask a different question: is this how you want to live your life? Is this what you want in a relationship?

Time is short. Whether he did or didn't do anything, this is no way to spend your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again

Oh, and I looked at her FB page for posts after this lunch---he still "Liked" a couple of her self glorifying posts on Saturday and Sunday--so after their lunch but before I found out about it.

If it was business to begin with they wouldn't be on each other's FB. True she may not like him like that. You have to decide at your age if you want someone that plays these games. At his age FB is immature and juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though

As she should.

Yeah because a great way for a woman to spend her time is cross referencing FB acquaintances with LinkedIn contacts and gauging whether she's ever heard of some of them and if so, what the story about their contact is

Once you put your stuff on the internet it's one click, it's not private so stop blaming the people who look it up. It's the dummies that have it up there. Recently we had a situation that has been since resolved. Let's just say my ins. adjuster and lawyer looked on the internet to find out about the idiots we were investigating. It ended in our favor. The worst thing is to use your real name, the search engines easily put all that together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I value my sanity too much to resort to espionage tactics to get a handle on what's going on with my significant other. If you gotta do all this spying and snooping and prying OP then you may as well break it off now cause its not gonna get any better regardless of whether you find anything or not.

Yes that's really espionage to check out some twits FB who has diarrhea of the key board, or looking at phone texts, lol. Not even. She's looking into all this so she can make a decision about this guy. Best to have proof before making a big decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though

As she should.

Yeah because a great way for a woman to spend her time is cross referencing FB acquaintances with LinkedIn contacts and gauging whether she's ever heard of some of them and if so, what the story about their contact is

Once you put your stuff on the internet it's one click, it's not private so stop blaming the people who look it up. It's the dummies that have it up there. Recently we had a situation that has been since resolved. Let's just say my ins. adjuster and lawyer looked on the internet to find out about the idiots we were investigating. It ended in our favor. The worst thing is to use your real name, the search engines easily put all that together.

For pete's sake. Anyone who is spending hours and hours perusing their boyfriend's facebook friends to see what posts he liked and the "tone" of his interactions is deeply insecure. Sad for a 40+ year old mother, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though

As she should.

Yeah because a great way for a woman to spend her time is cross referencing FB acquaintances with LinkedIn contacts and gauging whether she's ever heard of some of them and if so, what the story about their contact is

Once you put your stuff on the internet it's one click, it's not private so stop blaming the people who look it up. It's the dummies that have it up there. Recently we had a situation that has been since resolved. Let's just say my ins. adjuster and lawyer looked on the internet to find out about the idiots we were investigating. It ended in our favor. The worst thing is to use your real name, the search engines easily put all that together.

What the fucking fuck does this little tale have to do with this subject

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know where I connect with business contacts? Linked In. Not saying we would never connect on FB but it's definitely not my first thought or move if I'm thinking of a person in a business context.

OP here.
No, they met at a business event. They became facebook friends.

Right that's what I'm saying- I'd be more likely to connect with someone I met at a business event on Linked In than on Facebook.

Hmmm good point. I'm not sure if they connected on Linked In.

I bet you're figuring it out right now though

As she should.

Yeah because a great way for a woman to spend her time is cross referencing FB acquaintances with LinkedIn contacts and gauging whether she's ever heard of some of them and if so, what the story about their contact is

Once you put your stuff on the internet it's one click, it's not private so stop blaming the people who look it up. It's the dummies that have it up there. Recently we had a situation that has been since resolved. Let's just say my ins. adjuster and lawyer looked on the internet to find out about the idiots we were investigating. It ended in our favor. The worst thing is to use your real name, the search engines easily put all that together.

For pete's sake. Anyone who is spending hours and hours perusing their boyfriend's facebook friends to see what posts he liked and the "tone" of his interactions is deeply insecure. Sad for a 40+ year old mother, sorry.

I must have missed that, didn't see where she spends hours and hours.

Better that then sticking her head in the sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For pete's sake. Anyone who is spending hours and hours perusing their boyfriend's facebook friends to see what posts he liked and the "tone" of his interactions is deeply insecure. Sad for a 40+ year old mother, sorry.

OP here. I'm not perusing all his friends. For some reason this one just seemed "different." I don't look up his other "friends."