My son was molested on a school field trip. Now what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think it's the end of the world. Especially since your DS was asleep. Calm down.

Found the sex offender! How's life on the reg?

What a nasty mind. No, I am a middle aged woman. I assume most women have lived through a lot worse than what OP is describing. Frankly I would be more upset if the kid who did the groping was my DS than I would be if I were OP. OP, you're lucky not much happened to your DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone should ask Jeff to check this thread to see if it's one or two posters who keep minimizing the assault, and warning against reporting it to the proper authorities (the police).

You don't like our opinion, so you run to Jeff?

If your "opinion" is that this wasn't an assault,
let's make it clear just for you.

--- Legal Definition of Sexual Assault ---
Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact
or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent
of the recipient.
- US Department of Justice

[Anonymous]

I don't have a son. I have a daughter. I look at it like this - I would be seriously pissed if my daughter got groped by some guy (I've had incidents in the past where my boob was grabbed or my ass was grabbed and I regret doing nothing). I don't know about pressing charges but yes there would be hell to pay. I think having a son shouldn't change this. Assault is assault. It was unwanted. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see two kids with an issue here, and OPs son is actually in a much better place. Lots of good advice to follow his lead, don't let him internalize victim hood, etc.

I also see another boy who quite possibly is troubled in his sexuality, scared, confused and may not feel empowered to come out. He possibly had a crush on OPs son, and being an idiot teenager, thought he could deal with the issue without the son knowing. If he is not a predator and is ashamed of his own feelings, this public being found out puts him at risk of suicide.

From what I can see there was no imbalance of power here or abuse of a position of authority. OPs son knows better than anyone here whether this kid gives off a predatory vibe or a pathetic/unsure vibe. How to deal the most appropriately should depend on the son's take on things. And keep the police out of it.

I'm a female, and over the years I've used this calculus several times. Douchey arrogant jock-type, would get the book thrown at him. Nerdy socially awkward guy still gets a firm "no" but also an actual conversation later.

You know, your post is simply awful.

If OPs child was a girl instead of a boy, there is no way in hell you would write a long, dripping with sympathy for the young man doing the assaulting, referring to him as an equal victim and saying there was no imbalance of power.

Whether or not he was gay does not earn him excuses, sympathy, victimhood status, or any other kindness you would not give to any other sexual predator.

Are you so blinded by being PC that you are eager to make excuses and justify this awful behavior? Or to minimize OPs son's anger, embarrassment or trauma by declaring this young man an "equal" victim?

What a disgusting pile of excuses.

I'm a female and something similar happened to me. It was an adult male who wax doing done kind of "healing" massage and let his hands wander. It was unquestionably abusive, but I shifted position and he stopped. I excused myself soon after and went on with my life. I absolutely would not have wanted a long drawn out legal proceeding. It wad not right and he was creepy. I learned from the situation and moved on. Your son may want to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Pp- doing done- should be doing a - sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think it's the end of the world. Especially since your DS was asleep. Calm down.

Found the sex offender! How's life on the reg?

What a nasty mind. No, I am a middle aged woman. I assume most women have lived through a lot worse than what OP is describing. Frankly I would be more upset if the kid who did the groping was my DS than I would be if I were OP. OP, you're lucky not much happened to your DS.

Me too.

And I'm also a middle-aged woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a son. I have a daughter. I look at it like this - I would be seriously pissed if my daughter got groped by some guy (I've had incidents in the past where my boob was grabbed or my ass was grabbed and I regret doing nothing). I don't know about pressing charges but yes there would be hell to pay. I think having a son shouldn't change this. Assault is assault. It was unwanted. Period.

Exactly. God only knows how many times this goes on.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but I call troll. Who in their right mind would post this on an anonymous forum. Once it gets out what happened, everyone would know who you are.

And I don't believe you were contacted about it. I don't think a teen would go to a teacher and say "I think my bed mate felt my parts over my pants while I was sleeping!"

What the heck. You are all super strange and over the top

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I call troll. Who in their right mind would post this on an anonymous forum. Once it gets out what happened, everyone would know who you are.

And I don't believe you were contacted about it. I don't think a teen would go to a teacher and say "I think my bed mate felt my parts over my pants while I was sleeping!"

What the heck. You are all super strange and over the top

Never been sexually assaulted, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see two kids with an issue here, and OPs son is actually in a much better place. Lots of good advice to follow his lead, don't let him internalize victim hood, etc.

I also see another boy who quite possibly is troubled in his sexuality, scared, confused and may not feel empowered to come out. He possibly had a crush on OPs son, and being an idiot teenager, thought he could deal with the issue without the son knowing. If he is not a predator and is ashamed of his own feelings, this public being found out puts him at risk of suicide.

From what I can see there was no imbalance of power here or abuse of a position of authority. OPs son knows better than anyone here whether this kid gives off a predatory vibe or a pathetic/unsure vibe. How to deal the most appropriately should depend on the son's take on things. And keep the police out of it.

I'm a female, and over the years I've used this calculus several times. Douchey arrogant jock-type, would get the book thrown at him. Nerdy socially awkward guy still gets a firm "no" but also an actual conversation later.

You know, your post is simply awful.

If OPs child was a girl instead of a boy, there is no way in hell you would write a long, dripping with sympathy for the young man doing the assaulting, referring to him as an equal victim and saying there was no imbalance of power.

Whether or not he was gay does not earn him excuses, sympathy, victimhood status, or any other kindness you would not give to any other sexual predator.

Are you so blinded by being PC that you are eager to make excuses and justify this awful behavior? Or to minimize OPs son's anger, embarrassment or trauma by declaring this young man an "equal" victim?

What a disgusting pile of excuses.

I'm a female and something similar happened to me. It was an adult male who wax doing done kind of "healing" massage and let his hands wander. It was unquestionably abusive, but I shifted position and he stopped. I excused myself soon after and went on with my life. I absolutely would not have wanted a long drawn out legal proceeding. It wad not right and he was creepy. I learned from the situation and moved on. Your son may want to do the same.

This exact same thing happened to me when I was a teenager. Was this in Venice Beach CA by any chance? I also was not traumatized by it in any way. Just disgusted, by what happened and by my spinelessness. Not the end of the world though by any stretch. I would never have remembered it if you hadn't just brought this up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no grey area here. Sexual assault is sexual assault.

There IS gray area! THIS is one of them.

OP, this is such a private sensitive matter it doesn't belong on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no grey area here. Sexual assault is sexual assault.

There IS gray area! THIS is one of them.

OP, this is such a private sensitive matter it doesn't belong on this board.

I actually agree. People will be able to figure out who you are and who your son is by default as soon as this hits the media, even if the media doesn't reveal names, people around town will talk.

For the privacy of your son , as this is his story to share , you should ask Jeff to delete this.

I wish you guys well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone should ask Jeff to check this thread to see if it's one or two posters who keep minimizing the assault, and warning against reporting it to the proper authorities (the police).

[Anonymous]

No, the media doesn't ever care about this sort of thing. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone should ask Jeff to check this thread to see if it's one or two posters who keep minimizing the assault, and warning against reporting it to the proper authorities (the police).

You don't like our opinion, so you run to Jeff?

If your "opinion" is that this wasn't an assault,
let's make it clear just for you.

--- Legal Definition of Sexual Assault ---
Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact
or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent
of the recipient.
- US Department of Justice

Put this on your fridge for your HS kids to see. Maybe for middle school kids to.