Should I tell my wife that I got the OW pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put ruined in air quotes because I think saying ruined is a bit dramatic. She's still young and beautiful and has time to find another man and remarry and have another baby somewhere down the line.

I think the same thing goes for the OW. She can terminate the pregnancy right now, and have another baby somewhere down the line. It is not as if your OW has some kind of fertility problem - I mean she got pregnant while on the pill, so getting pregnant again is no big deal.

+10000. don't kill your existing family for a ho.

He's the ho and destroyed his marriage. If it wasn't this OW, it would have been someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell OW you're so excited to have kids with her (or if it's too late to do that convincingly that you've come around) but with the divorce and selling the house the timing isn't right, that you want to do it right, get engaged, and have a baby soon, but at the right time. Then drive her to planned parenthood.

I'm not going to do that. We're looking forward to raising this baby.

BUT less than 3 years ago you weren't? And now aren't going to be a full time Father to the child you have? Really?

I was very excited about my first child! I still am and I plan to be in her life as much as possible! I hope she's close to her new sibling.

You realize your daughter is going to hate you, right? My best friend's father left her mother for the OW when she was 3 and she still hates her father. Some of it is the betrayal of the family, some is bc he is an asshole (only a narcissist would make that decision). I feel sorry for your daughter. You are a terrible person,

+1. Your daughter will grow up hating you and will likely have life long issues around men. You are a piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

+1

How is the abortion going to help this broken family?

It'll help prevent a new broken family in the making. Honesty is not OP's strong suit, it's only a matter of time before this woman becomes his newest victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. She deserves to know the whole truth in real time, finally.
She may be having all kinds of second thoughts and doubts about the divorce. This news will assure her she made and is making the right decision. Give her some peace.

She's made it clear that she's not having second thoughts. She told me she'll never trust another man again.

You took marital vows, cheated on her, lied, are leaving her for the OW, whom you got pregnant. Of course, she'll never trust another man again. Do you really think everyone will live happily ever after? You'll cheat again or the OW will cheat - what goes around comes around. Do your really think your ex will be ok with her child being in the home with you, the OW and all play happy family when you destroyed the family.

To be fair, my wife said she wanted a divorce before she knew for a fact that I cheated. She's unhappy in the marriage, I can admit it's my fault that she's unhappy.

You knew she was unhappy. So, instead of trying to work things out with her, you cheated. She knew something was going on.... it does not matter if she knew or not as you should have divorced her before seeing the OW. You don't get it as its easier to justify and blame her than take responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

I don't get that. She's the victim just like my wife.

Umm no she lied about being on the pill didn't she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

I don't get that. She's the victim just like my wife.

She's not a victim. She knew he was married and knew if she had sex it could result in pregnancy. She could have purposely gotten pregnant so he'd leave his wife and marry her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least wait until you know if it's a viable pregnancy. Are you planning to live with OW and raise this child?

Yes, it's only right that I marry her once my divorce is final.

What's the right thing to do for your 3 year old daughter, OP? Is it to run off to raise another family, making it painfully obvious that your future baby will was the result of an affair?

Honest question: how do you think your daughter will feel in just a few short years when she can do the math and figure it all out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

I don't get that. She's the victim just like my wife.

Umm no she lied about being on the pill didn't she?

Not Op but I wouldn't assume that. As much as women around here get pregnant because they were using the pill incorrectly, I think it's quite possible this woman did the same.

[Anonymous]

Thank You OP for telling us.
Makes me feel better about my own life as compared to how you fucked up yours and wife.
You did ruin her life in some respect and your young daughters

My sister never got over my fathers cheating after 25 years. Had no relationship with him and rebuffed him after hundreds of tries. Refused to say good bye on his death bed. Sad as hell. You may not even care about your daughter, idk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell OW you're so excited to have kids with her (or if it's too late to do that convincingly that you've come around) but with the divorce and selling the house the timing isn't right, that you want to do it right, get engaged, and have a baby soon, but at the right time. Then drive her to planned parenthood.

I'm not going to do that. We're looking forward to raising this baby.

BUT less than 3 years ago you weren't? And now aren't going to be a full time Father to the child you have? Really?

I was very excited about my first child! I still am and I plan to be in her life as much as possible! I hope she's close to her new sibling.

You realize your daughter is going to hate you, right? My best friend's father left her mother for the OW when she was 3 and she still hates her father. Some of it is the betrayal of the family, some is bc he is an asshole (only a narcissist would make that decision). I feel sorry for your daughter. You are a terrible person,

+1. Your daughter will grow up hating you and will likely have life long issues around men. You are a piece of shit.

I'm the PP whose best friend's dad left her mom for the OW. Thankfully my BF doesn't have men issues, she's remarkably well adjusted and is in a great marriage. Her dad is a chronic narcissist and my best friend hates him. OP is a moron and a terrible, terrible person.

Also good luck making marriage work with an OW who trapped you into it by getting pregnant on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Here's the deal - you're going to have this baby with the OW and, in about a year, maybe shorter, you're going to want to fuck around again. Having a baby, handling the divorce, dealing with your existing child = repeating the same thing again. Fix yourself before you get involved in another family. You sound extremely immature and so does your OW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. She deserves to know the whole truth in real time, finally.
She may be having all kinds of second thoughts and doubts about the divorce. This news will assure her she made and is making the right decision. Give her some peace.

She's made it clear that she's not having second thoughts. She told me she'll never trust another man again.

You took marital vows, cheated on her, lied, are leaving her for the OW, whom you got pregnant. Of course, she'll never trust another man again. Do you really think everyone will live happily ever after? You'll cheat again or the OW will cheat - what goes around comes around. Do your really think your ex will be ok with her child being in the home with you, the OW and all play happy family when you destroyed the family.

Ppl, you are completely psycho. People get over divorce all the time and go on to happier lives.

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you living with the OW?

[Anonymous]

You are so fucked, and on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

I don't get that. She's the victim just like my wife.

Umm no she lied about being on the pill didn't she?

Not Op but I wouldn't assume that. As much as women around here get pregnant because they were using the pill incorrectly, I think it's quite possible this woman did the same.

Agree it's possible that it's a birth control failure--I think the odds of that are about 15%. The odds of the OW being a manipulative liar are, I think, more like 70% (because really, who else sleeps with a married man with a toddler at home?). Therefore smart money is on the OW lying about the BC to trap the guy into leaving his wife and kid. I think there's even odds that OP screws OW over, and that OW screws OP over, but very slim odds that they live happily ever after with this poor little baby-to-be. For him to view her as the victim seems to me as stupid as he is deceitful--unless OP lied to OW about being single, in which case his sack-of-shit rating just doubled.