Should I tell my wife that I got the OW pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op people like you are why the divorce rate will remain high. Jumping from one relationship to another and being real reckless about it. Please get counseling for yourself and pre-marital counseling before you enter your next marriage. People like you are the reason so many folks are looking down on marriage these days. For people like you marriage really is just a piece of paper and nothing more.

Don't take vows again unless you plan to take them seriously. Marriage takes work and it isn't always going to be easy peasy. If you can't control your desire for other women just stay single and screw all the women you wan't instead of leaving a trail of broken families.

This marriage will be different. I've learned from my mistakes the first time.

Omg you are repeating the same thing!!!! Jumping right into another marriage way too fast. You act like a child you don't see you appear insane? Let me break a small part of the problem down for you (there's so many problems here). . Let's fast forward 5 years. You had divorce number two and have to pay support to two baby mamas and are moving into marriage number 3. I mean right now, you are talking about a shotgun wedding. while you ARE STILL MARRIED. Holy shit is this a teen mom reunion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, for God's sake....this child is a toddler. It is not going to be confusing or weird for the toddler, because the toddler won't remember anything different. She is going to grow up in a world in which her parents were always apart and she always spent part of her time in each house.

I grew up in a divorced family. It isn't that bad. It was certainly much better than my parents living together.

Not everybody gets a Leave to Beaver experience for their family. Despite that, most people do well.

There are many ways that toddlers perceive and grieve loss. It doesn't look like how a preschool does it. Get a degree in child psychology before you speak on this very sensitive topic.

So dramatic!

This toddler will be fine, unless a crazy person like you fills her head with how evil her father is

I don't think OP is evil. And parents don't have to be evil for their young kids to suffer emotionally from parental choices. I do recommend you read up about grief and stress in the 0-3 years. I divorced with a newborn so I know the desire to believe the child won't even notice. It's alarming the impact of adult dysfunction on their developing minds. In my case, I left because of a mentally and abusive spouse. I didn't assume life would automatically be all sunshine and lollipops for the little one. We did years of family therapy. And my kid is well adjusted as a result when I compare her to some kids in my support group (both men and women) who thought the kids would be just fine without adult help. No rage tantrums, no potty training issues, straight As, etcetera. All three adults in this situation need to acknowledge a huge hole was been ripped in DD's life. Her parents need to help her navigate her new normal and the feelings she experiences.

I am a psych RN. I have read the research. The divorce isn't what damages kids. It is the mental health problems of the parents. Your kid did not stand a chance because you and your partner were not well. You still don't sound well. You should probably straighten out your own life and kid before advising OP.

[Anonymous]

Well she knows now. She said she's not surprised at all. I told her she can keep the house and I'll move out. She's giving me 30 days to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, for God's sake....this child is a toddler. It is not going to be confusing or weird for the toddler, because the toddler won't remember anything different. She is going to grow up in a world in which her parents were always apart and she always spent part of her time in each house.

I grew up in a divorced family. It isn't that bad. It was certainly much better than my parents living together.

Not everybody gets a Leave to Beaver experience for their family. Despite that, most people do well.

There are many ways that toddlers perceive and grieve loss. It doesn't look like how a preschool does it. Get a degree in child psychology before you speak on this very sensitive topic.

So dramatic!

This toddler will be fine, unless a crazy person like you fills her head with how evil her father is

I don't think OP is evil. And parents don't have to be evil for their young kids to suffer emotionally from parental choices. I do recommend you read up about grief and stress in the 0-3 years. I divorced with a newborn so I know the desire to believe the child won't even notice. It's alarming the impact of adult dysfunction on their developing minds. In my case, I left because of a mentally and abusive spouse. I didn't assume life would automatically be all sunshine and lollipops for the little one. We did years of family therapy. And my kid is well adjusted as a result when I compare her to some kids in my support group (both men and women) who thought the kids would be just fine without adult help. No rage tantrums, no potty training issues, straight As, etcetera. All three adults in this situation need to acknowledge a huge hole was been ripped in DD's life. Her parents need to help her navigate her new normal and the feelings she experiences.

I am a psych RN. I have read the research. The divorce isn't what damages kids. It is the mental health problems of the parents. Your kid did not stand a chance because you and your partner were not well. You still don't sound well. You should probably straighten out your own life and kid before advising OP.

You read the research? Did you even read the post you responded to? You don't sound like a pysch RN. Perhaps one of the minimum wage aides at the halfway houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well she knows now. She said she's not surprised at all. I told her she can keep the house and I'll move out. She's giving me 30 days to do so.

Well, there you go. The snarky part of me figures this is what you wanted, now you can go play house with OW.

Now... you told her she can "keep" the house.. so now she has to buy out your half?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well she knows now. She said she's not surprised at all. I told her she can keep the house and I'll move out. She's giving me 30 days to do so.

This is really what is best. Take the financial hit on the house so DD can have as much stability as possible in this fucked up situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are people here who aren't sane claiming everybody's life is ruined irreparably and so on. This situation sucks. OP you effed it all up. But ruined everybody's life? C'mon now people. I have been married and I have been divorced (iunfaithful husband, natch) and life sucks ass for a bit and then it goes on.

Have you had your parents break up when you were three and have to go from seeing your mother every day to shuttling back and forth between households and living with a strange woman when you have no capacity to understand why?

If not then STFU.

If you don't get the difference between your experience divorcing as an adult and this toddler's experience, and of you think that any decent woman would put a toddler through that, again you are nuts.

Nope I was 10, neither of my parents cheated but they divorced which was best for all of us, and LIFE WENT THE FUCK ON.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she knows now. She said she's not surprised at all. I told her she can keep the house and I'll move out. She's giving me 30 days to do so.

This is really what is best. Take the financial hit on the house so DD can have as much stability as possible in this fucked up situation.

Wonderful - you can have sex with OW as much as you want without hiding - added bonus you get 30 days to move stuff when convenient for you. And that's that until this one drives you insane and you find wife #3. I hope you make at least $250k. Minimum.

[Anonymous]

I call TROLL on the OP.

Nice job. You got 12 pages of attention.
Does your d!ck feel bigger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well your dick got you in a deep trouble. How come you did not use birth control? I guess the baby is coming so too late now. Do you have kids?

I would kick you to curb and take you for everything. I would do this so the skank that you end up with Have no money.

You like a loser and a soon to be broke loser at that.

This is why you don't tell her. 3:1 odds OW isn't really pregnant anyway - she's saying she is to get you motivated to wrap things up quicker or to twist the knife in your wife's emotions. If she is pregnant, she could end up aborting - even late term - since you have no say over that one way or another anyway. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call TROLL on the OP.

Nice job. You got 12 pages of attention.
Does your d!ck feel bigger?

So what is OP is a troll? Still kind of interesting to see what people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are people here who aren't sane claiming everybody's life is ruined irreparably and so on. This situation sucks. OP you effed it all up. But ruined everybody's life? C'mon now people. I have been married and I have been divorced (iunfaithful husband, natch) and life sucks ass for a bit and then it goes on.

Have you had your parents break up when you were three and have to go from seeing your mother every day to shuttling back and forth between households and living with a strange woman when you have no capacity to understand why?

If not then STFU.

If you don't get the difference between your experience divorcing as an adult and this toddler's experience, and of you think that any decent woman would put a toddler through that, again you are nuts.

Nope I was 10, neither of my parents cheated but they divorced which was best for all of us, and LIFE WENT THE FUCK ON.

+1 NP who's parents divorced when I was 2 so I beat you PP. It was my mom that remarried suspiciously within a year. Life went on. And knowing my parents today, my life was definitely better than had they decided to stay together and fight like cats and dogs for the next few decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are people here who aren't sane claiming everybody's life is ruined irreparably and so on. This situation sucks. OP you effed it all up. But ruined everybody's life? C'mon now people. I have been married and I have been divorced (iunfaithful husband, natch) and life sucks ass for a bit and then it goes on.

Have you had your parents break up when you were three and have to go from seeing your mother every day to shuttling back and forth between households and living with a strange woman when you have no capacity to understand why?

If not then STFU.

If you don't get the difference between your experience divorcing as an adult and this toddler's experience, and of you think that any decent woman would put a toddler through that, again you are nuts.

Nope I was 10, neither of my parents cheated but they divorced which was best for all of us, and LIFE WENT THE FUCK ON.

And look at the caring, compassionate offspring they produced.

[Anonymous]

Advice to OP: Please think about your kids (all of them)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op people like you are why the divorce rate will remain high. Jumping from one relationship to another and being real reckless about it. Please get counseling for yourself and pre-marital counseling before you enter your next marriage. People like you are the reason so many folks are looking down on marriage these days. For people like you marriage really is just a piece of paper and nothing more.

Don't take vows again unless you plan to take them seriously. Marriage takes work and it isn't always going to be easy peasy. If you can't control your desire for other women just stay single and screw all the women you wan't instead of leaving a trail of broken families.

This marriage will be different. I've learned from my mistakes the first time.

What is the divorce rate for second marriages?