Should I tell my wife that I got the OW pregnant?

[Anonymous]

I've been having an affair for about a year and a half. My wife suspected it, but I denied it. A few months ago, she told me she wanted a divorce so I admitted to having an affair. I told her it was over, but it really wasn't. We're still going through with the divorce, but we're still living together while we figure out what we're going to do about our house. I found out that the OW is 8 weeks pregnant. Even though we're planning to divorce, should I still tell her this news?

[Anonymous]

At least wait until you know if it's a viable pregnancy. Are you planning to live with OW and raise this child?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should because she's going to find out anyway. Also, tell your lawyer right away because if the OW doesn't terminate the pregnancy, you're going to face additional child support and custody issues.

Odds are this is going to blow up in your face because if you and OW were too impulsive to use protection, then things are going to get really tough as the pregnancy progresses, particularly if there are complications.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell her yet if you can help it, but do what you can to work out the house and other settlement issues before she finds out. It's going to be fresh hell for her either way, but at least get the proceedings to the point where you're both living in separate places and don't have to work together to come to a settlement agreement so she doesn't have to see you all the time while she's processing it; otherwise it's just cruel. Keep in mind, though, that you can only wait so long before she'll probably find out from one source or another, so if you have make some sacrifices you otherwise could have held out on to wrap up the settlement agreement, throw her that bone as an apology for being so deceitful while you were married.

[Anonymous]

Ouch....well realistically speaking the two of you are still getting divorced.i would tell her right away and let her deal with it how she may rather then let it linger for awhile.get it off your chest asap

[Anonymous]

You've lied to you wife countless times up until this point and NOW you think you need to be honest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least wait until you know if it's a viable pregnancy. Are you planning to live with OW and raise this child?

Yes, it's only right that I marry her once my divorce is final.

[Anonymous]

What to do with the house - you move out with the OW since she is your priority, give her the divorce and set her up well since you destroyed your marriage and give her a year in the house (with you help paying) so she can adjust and make another plan (especially if you have kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell her yet if you can help it, but do what you can to work out the house and other settlement issues before she finds out. It's going to be fresh hell for her either way, but at least get the proceedings to the point where you're both living in separate places and don't have to work together to come to a settlement agreement so she doesn't have to see you all the time while she's processing it; otherwise it's just cruel. Keep in mind, though, that you can only wait so long before she'll probably find out from one source or another, so if you have make some sacrifices you otherwise could have held out on to wrap up the settlement agreement, throw her that bone as an apology for being so deceitful while you were married.

The only thing I can do right now is tell her she can have the house and move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What to do with the house - you move out with the OW since she is your priority, give her the divorce and set her up well since you destroyed your marriage and give her a year in the house (with you help paying) so she can adjust and make another plan (especially if you have kids).

We have one child that's another reason I don't want to tell her right away about the pregnancy. She's already angry that I've "ruined" her life and her chance to have another baby. Finding out I have a baby on the way will kill her.

[Anonymous]

Well your dick got you in a deep trouble. How come you did not use birth control? I guess the baby is coming so too late now. Do you have kids?

I would kick you to curb and take you for everything. I would do this so the skank that you end up with Have no money.

You like a loser and a soon to be broke loser at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What to do with the house - you move out with the OW since she is your priority, give her the divorce and set her up well since you destroyed your marriage and give her a year in the house (with you help paying) so she can adjust and make another plan (especially if you have kids).

We have one child that's another reason I don't want to tell her right away about the pregnancy. She's already angry that I've "ruined" her life and her chance to have another baby. Finding out I have a baby on the way will kill her.

You did ruin her life and now you child will suffer through a divorce because of you selfishness. Either you get every other weekend and some summer or 50/50 and mom loses out on a lot of time with her child. You took vows and made a commitment and instead of doing the right thing and divorcing before seeing someone else, you cheated, are having another child and have no empathy for the path of destruction you are leaving behind. Since you have a child, right thing to do is let her have the house and help her pay it off. Its the least you can do along with generous child support and a college fund for the kid.

[Anonymous]

^gets no money. Please tell her. She deserves for you to be truthful. I really feel bad for your first child.

[Anonymous]

I would go ahead and take ruined out of air quotes, OP. If you're a real person (God I hope not), just tell her and get the hell out of her life already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well your dick got you in a deep trouble. How come you did not use birth control? I guess the baby is coming so too late now. Do you have kids?

I would kick you to curb and take you for everything. I would do this so the skank that you end up with Have no money.

You like a loser and a soon to be broke loser at that.

Yes, I have a three year old. We used protection, she told me she was on the pill.