Should I tell my wife that I got the OW pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell OW you're so excited to have kids with her (or if it's too late to do that convincingly that you've come around) but with the divorce and selling the house the timing isn't right, that you want to do it right, get engaged, and have a baby soon, but at the right time. Then drive her to planned parenthood.

I'm not going to do that. We're looking forward to raising this baby.

BUT less than 3 years ago you weren't? And now aren't going to be a full time Father to the child you have? Really?

I was very excited about my first child! I still am and I plan to be in her life as much as possible! I hope she's close to her new sibling.

You realize your daughter is going to hate you, right? My best friend's father left her mother for the OW when she was 3 and she still hates her father. Some of it is the betrayal of the family, some is bc he is an asshole (only a narcissist would make that decision). I feel sorry for your daughter. You are a terrible person,

I'll explain everything to her when she's older. I had an affair and fell in love with another woman. Am I really that terrible?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell OW you're so excited to have kids with her (or if it's too late to do that convincingly that you've come around) but with the divorce and selling the house the timing isn't right, that you want to do it right, get engaged, and have a baby soon, but at the right time. Then drive her to planned parenthood.

I'm not going to do that. We're looking forward to raising this baby.

BUT less than 3 years ago you weren't? And now aren't going to be a full time Father to the child you have? Really?

I was very excited about my first child! I still am and I plan to be in her life as much as possible! I hope she's close to her new sibling.

You realize your daughter is going to hate you, right? My best friend's father left her mother for the OW when she was 3 and she still hates her father. Some of it is the betrayal of the family, some is bc he is an asshole (only a narcissist would make that decision). I feel sorry for your daughter. You are a terrible person,

I'll explain everything to her when she's older. I had an affair and fell in love with another woman. Am I really that terrible?

Yes. There were many many less hurtful ways to deal with the fact that you fell in love with someone else. Some of them might have resulted in divorce, others not. You chose, deliberately, the most hurtful and harmful way to solve your dilemma. You *are* really that terrible. The best you can hope for is that by the time your daughter is old enough to talk to about this, you will have developed the habit of honesty, made real amends and matured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. She deserves to know the whole truth in real time, finally.
She may be having all kinds of second thoughts and doubts about the divorce. This news will assure her she made and is making the right decision. Give her some peace.

She's made it clear that she's not having second thoughts. She told me she'll never trust another man again.

You took marital vows, cheated on her, lied, are leaving her for the OW, whom you got pregnant. Of course, she'll never trust another man again. Do you really think everyone will live happily ever after? You'll cheat again or the OW will cheat - what goes around comes around. Do your really think your ex will be ok with her child being in the home with you, the OW and all play happy family when you destroyed the family.

[Anonymous]

Maybe, OW can get an abortion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put ruined in air quotes because I think saying ruined is a bit dramatic. She's still young and beautiful and has time to find another man and remarry and have another baby somewhere down the line.

I think the same thing goes for the OW. She can terminate the pregnancy right now, and have another baby somewhere down the line. It is not as if your OW has some kind of fertility problem - I mean she got pregnant while on the pill, so getting pregnant again is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Nah...let her find out on her own.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you're in big law making bank!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put ruined in air quotes because I think saying ruined is a bit dramatic. She's still young and beautiful and has time to find another man and remarry and have another baby somewhere down the line.

I think the same thing goes for the OW. She can terminate the pregnancy right now, and have another baby somewhere down the line. It is not as if your OW has some kind of fertility problem - I mean she got pregnant while on the pill, so getting pregnant again is no big deal.

+10000. don't kill your existing family for a ho.

[Anonymous]

I think op is the wife trolling. Probably the same wife who wrote " he will never leave..."

[Anonymous]

I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, OW can get an abortion?

She doesn't want to and I don't want her too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. She deserves to know the whole truth in real time, finally.
She may be having all kinds of second thoughts and doubts about the divorce. This news will assure her she made and is making the right decision. Give her some peace.

She's made it clear that she's not having second thoughts. She told me she'll never trust another man again.

You took marital vows, cheated on her, lied, are leaving her for the OW, whom you got pregnant. Of course, she'll never trust another man again. Do you really think everyone will live happily ever after? You'll cheat again or the OW will cheat - what goes around comes around. Do your really think your ex will be ok with her child being in the home with you, the OW and all play happy family when you destroyed the family.

To be fair, my wife said she wanted a divorce before she knew for a fact that I cheated. She's unhappy in the marriage, I can admit it's my fault that she's unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

I don't get that. She's the victim just like my wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an OW and my parents' marriage was destroyed by my dad's cheating, but I think it is sad that everyone thinks OW should have to have an abortion. It's like they want to punish her.

+1

How is the abortion going to help this broken family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. She deserves to know the whole truth in real time, finally.
She may be having all kinds of second thoughts and doubts about the divorce. This news will assure her she made and is making the right decision. Give her some peace.

She's made it clear that she's not having second thoughts. She told me she'll never trust another man again.

Still let her know now. She'll need to work this out in therapy and it'll be easier for her to deal with all of your betrayal at once instead of piecemeal.