pretty sure my dh is cheating, what do i do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

This is now one of my all-time favorite DCUM posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has the feel of others that are more chat in nature by the OP...so...don't think this is real.

That said...we don't use condoms but I bought some because I intend to use them during anal...which we don't engage in often. So, if she found them before.....

Op here. Omfg do I wish this was fake. Its chatty in nature because I am in a crisis and looking for advice.

All PPs - I am not sure how waiting to confront him will affect a divorice settlement. We are in maryland and everything will get split. We both make about the same too. It is my understand that in maryland cheating has no bearing on settlement. Maybe i am wrong though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has the feel of others that are more chat in nature by the OP...so...don't think this is real.

That said...we don't use condoms but I bought some because I intend to use them during anal...which we don't engage in often. So, if she found them before.....

Op here. Omfg do I wish this was fake. Its chatty in nature because I am in a crisis and looking for advice.

All PPs - I am not sure how waiting to confront him will affect a divorice settlement. We are in maryland and everything will get split. We both make about the same too. It is my understand that in maryland cheating has no bearing on settlement. Maybe i am wrong though.

You are correct, it will not affect child custody or monetary issues of the divorce.

[Anonymous]

This is what I would do...

Since he's cheated before and is trying to patch up the trust issues, I would say, "I know you are working on repairing things between us. But my spidey sense is telling me something is still going on. To help alleviate this, do you mind if I look at your phone/email/FB immediately while you stand here?" If he says, "sure no problem", you still aren't in the clear, since it could be a sign he has just gotten better about hiding things. If he gets shifty and makes excuses as to why you can't, then just walk away and say, "Thanks I have my answer". No fighting, no accusing.
Then watch the condoms. If they are moved, then he can't use the excuse "I didn't know they were there".

Don't fight with him, just tell him to pack his bags. He isn't worth the energy to fight (and it will scare him to see you so calm). If he keeps trying to engage you, just say, "I know more than you think I do" and shut up. See what kind of hole he digs himself.

Good Luck and I'm so sorry you are going through this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

This is now one of my all-time favorite DCUM posts.

Wow! Can I just ask if your mind immediately went to cheating? I guess I would assume my dog had found some garbage outside. Ugh, in your bed? So sorry PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

This is now one of my all-time favorite DCUM posts.

Wow! Can I just ask if your mind immediately went to cheating? I guess I would assume my dog had found some garbage outside. Ugh, in your bed? So sorry PP!

Not really, it was very surreal. But, when I started thinking about it - I only walked our dog in our own back yard which is privacy fenced, so I was pretty sure she didn't get a hold of and eat a condom from our back yard. It prompted me to check my husband's text messages and emails on his phone, wherein I found out about everything. He actually married her, but ended up cheating on her from what I heard, and getting divorced again. At the time I was destroyed, but I can definitely laugh about it now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

This is now one of my all-time favorite DCUM posts.

Wow! Can I just ask if your mind immediately went to cheating? I guess I would assume my dog had found some garbage outside. Ugh, in your bed? So sorry PP!

Not really, it was very surreal. But, when I started thinking about it - I only walked our dog in our own back yard which is privacy fenced, so I was pretty sure she didn't get a hold of and eat a condom from our back yard. It prompted me to check my husband's text messages and emails on his phone, wherein I found out about everything. He actually married her, but ended up cheating on her from what I heard, and getting divorced again. At the time I was destroyed, but I can definitely laugh about it now!

Good for you! And awesome of your dog!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

This is now one of my all-time favorite DCUM posts.

Wow! Can I just ask if your mind immediately went to cheating? I guess I would assume my dog had found some garbage outside. Ugh, in your bed? So sorry PP!

Not really, it was very surreal. But, when I started thinking about it - I only walked our dog in our own back yard which is privacy fenced, so I was pretty sure she didn't get a hold of and eat a condom from our back yard. It prompted me to check my husband's text messages and emails on his phone, wherein I found out about everything. He actually married her, but ended up cheating on her from what I heard, and getting divorced again. At the time I was destroyed, but I can definitely laugh about it now!

Good for you! And awesome of your dog!!

Did you get the dog in the divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

This is now one of my all-time favorite DCUM posts.

Wow! Can I just ask if your mind immediately went to cheating? I guess I would assume my dog had found some garbage outside. Ugh, in your bed? So sorry PP!

Not really, it was very surreal. But, when I started thinking about it - I only walked our dog in our own back yard which is privacy fenced, so I was pretty sure she didn't get a hold of and eat a condom from our back yard. It prompted me to check my husband's text messages and emails on his phone, wherein I found out about everything. He actually married her, but ended up cheating on her from what I heard, and getting divorced again. At the time I was destroyed, but I can definitely laugh about it now!

Good for you! And awesome of your dog!!

Honestly, this is the greatest post ever. Sorry, OP, I know you're going through a horrible day and a horrible moment, but I just had to chime in and say this will be burned in my brain for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in a bit of a panick here and need some advice. I found condoms in my husband's gym bag. We do not use condoms. Do i confront him now or wait for more evidence? And if i wait, how do i get the evidence? If i say something now, he will just deny it and make some excuse - they are old, i didnt even know they were there, i use them to masterbate. Ive been down this road before, unfortunately.

Any help? I am not thinking straight.

You've caught him cheating before? Consult an attorney and get the jump on him

Call attorney first.

If she leaves note for him to pack up and leave, and the leaves house with kid for weekend, could she potentially lose the house? Shouldn't she kick him out instead in this case? Is this in dc, md or va?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, sit down and seriously think about this. You know he's cheating. You are just trying to convince yourself otherwise and deny reality. Start thinking about how you want to proceed. Give him a another chance? Proceed to divorce?

No I know he is cheating. What I am trying to decide is to confront him now or wait for more evidence. But you right the choice is divorce or stay.

You shouldn't give him the satisfaction of confronting him. You won't be able to keep your cool and then there is something for him to point fingers at.

I'd leave if I were you. But in front of him act as cool as you cAn. Like it was your decision because he wasn't cutting it anymore. Turn it all on him but make it your choice and not about him. That would be crushing revengeful without being made to look like your psycho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just to try to lighten things up - I found out my husband was cheating by finding a condom also - I was walking our dog and he pooped a condom out of his butt. It got stuck half way out, and I was like, what the H is this and I had to pull it the rest of the way out for him.

Turns out the other woman was coming to our house and they were having sex in our bed, and our dog gobbled up one of their used condoms. If it wasn't so devastating for me at the time, it would have been pretty funny.

Hahahaaaaaa not at the circumstance but dam that made me laugh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, sit down and seriously think about this. You know he's cheating. You are just trying to convince yourself otherwise and deny reality. Start thinking about how you want to proceed. Give him a another chance? Proceed to divorce?

No I know he is cheating. What I am trying to decide is to confront him now or wait for more evidence. But you right the choice is divorce or stay.

You shouldn't give him the satisfaction of confronting him. You won't be able to keep your cool and then there is something for him to point fingers at.

I'd leave if I were you. But in front of him act as cool as you cAn. Like it was your decision because he wasn't cutting it anymore. Turn it all on him but make it your choice and not about him. That would be crushing revengeful without being made to look like your psycho

This was my post. But before I did any of that I'd call a lawyer! And ask family for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has the feel of others that are more chat in nature by the OP...so...don't think this is real.

That said...we don't use condoms but I bought some because I intend to use them during anal...which we don't engage in often. So, if she found them before.....

Op here. Omfg do I wish this was fake. Its chatty in nature because I am in a crisis and looking for advice.

All PPs - I am not sure how waiting to confront him will affect a divorice settlement. We are in maryland and everything will get split. We both make about the same too. It is my understand that in maryland cheating has no bearing on settlement. Maybe i am wrong though.

You are correct, it will not affect child custody or monetary issues of the divorce.

Well it doesn't really matter if you get to the point of going before a judge to split up your assets, but the parties can independently decide/settle for whatever they want. This is where you would use the evidence -- to coax out a really good settlement. Whether that is making sure you keep the house, getting alimony, or increasing child support, evidence of cheating may lead him to settle with you for MORE than you'd be entitled to under a 50/50 split.