Woman of color who prefers white men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here and I have no idea why some people to whom this thread presumably does not apply are posting ad hominems repeatedly. If you think black men are great, then go date one. If you disapprove of interracial dating, then date intraracially. Save the rest of your drama for someone who cares.

Incredibly ironic. It was you that created drama with your sad diatribe about Black men and the women who want them. While I can't figure out what you wanted from your post, maybe had you focused on you and the negative treatment you have received from others judging the relationship decisions of you and your mate you would have received more comiseration. But instead you wrote about how unworthy Black men are to you. You are the one stiring drama.

Right. OP wrote black men are unworthy to her based on what she experienced. The only drama is you are emotionally unprepared to accept that black male misbehavior is widespread and you are in denial because you are infantile. To face up to the problem would mean the black community would actually have to own it and fix it rather than blame racism for their problems. That would be too.much hard work for you and we already know about your distaste for that.

The black community....is there a white community? And are they fixing these white male school shooters? I'm just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also find it interesting that its assumed that the provocative posters are Black men. It's like you WANTED to bait and argue with Black men and get some attention finally. And if not them, why not White women instead because they're so jealous of you right?

Girl BYE.

No white woman cares enough about black men to enter a thread spouting insults and foaming at the mouth. Black men and deluded black women are the ones behind the attacks. I have seen your writing style before on other race threads and you are definitely a black woman.

Tell that to my white sisters-in-law who are the mother of biracial sons. They absolutely would take issue with this thread because one, they are married to black men and two, they are raising black men. But, again, if you want to exclusively date white men, have at it. No one is stopping you. No one cares (or should care) but you. Enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is about race. Black American males have a disproportionately dysfunctional upbringing and that manifests itself in various ways. Attributing the bad behavior to racism doesn't erase the bad behavior. A thug is a thug even if the reason they became a thug was a poor uobringing due to the history of racism. At some point black men will have to take responsibility for own behavior despite the history of racism. Pretending black male behavior is fine and calling OP a racist for pointing out her personal experiences with black men won't change the bad behavior which they need to do if they are sincere about actually wanting women like OP to date black men ratber than.just insukt her.

I agree 110%! Your post really captures what has been bothering me about the constant denial of black men's antisocial behavior: Even if it is due to the legacy of slavery or segregation or daddy never loving them, what does that have to do with the women who have to deal with black men? Should we sacrifice ourselves on the altar of PC by choosing men who will never make good husbands and fathers? That is what a lot of black women do, with disastrous consequences for them and their children. There is a real misogyny in thinking that is okay.

NP here. It does make it very difficult as an educated black woman in her 40s to find eligible black men. There's a lot of damaged souls out there. And like you said, even if I completely understand the circumstance they were born into, it just doesn't hold up as an excuse for what can be some pretty awful behavior.

With children off the table, I was prepared to date white men. It just hasn't happened for me...yet. Loving black men is a lot of work. You can invest the time and do the work, but he will always know there's a line of black women willing to (most happily) deal with his shit. It makes it very difficult.

I have no idea where my heart will lead me. I just wanted to acknowledge the truth of your words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here and I have no idea why some people to whom this thread presumably does not apply are posting ad hominems repeatedly. If you think black men are great, then go date one. If you disapprove of interracial dating, then date intraracially. Save the rest of your drama for someone who cares.

Incredibly ironic. It was you that created drama with your sad diatribe about Black men and the women who want them. While I can't figure out what you wanted from your post, maybe had you focused on you and the negative treatment you have received from others judging the relationship decisions of you and your mate you would have received more comiseration. But instead you wrote about how unworthy Black men are to you. You are the one stiring drama.

Right. OP wrote black men are unworthy to her based on what she experienced. The only drama is you are emotionally unprepared to accept that black male misbehavior is widespread and you are in denial because you are infantile. To face up to the problem would mean the black community would actually have to own it and fix it rather than blame racism for their problems. That would be too.much hard work for you and we already know about your distaste for that.

I agree with most of the points you are making in this thread, but are you trying to invoke the racist stereotype of black laziness here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here and I have no idea why some people to whom this thread presumably does not apply are posting ad hominems repeatedly. If you think black men are great, then go date one. If you disapprove of interracial dating, then date intraracially. Save the rest of your drama for someone who cares.

As someone who has dated within and outside my race, you do sound extremely damaged. I agree with an earlier poster, why not focus on your own fiancé. Your post appears as though you are seeking validation for your choices, who cares. Now, just hope that you do not taint your sons born from your Blackness that they are lesser than because of yours and their color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're a piece of work. While I am glad you've found your Prince Charming, your prejudice against black men is truly disgusting. I hope you seek therapy if you decide to have children, as any sons of yours will someday be black men.

Why are you saying her kids will be black as if you think it's a curse?

NP, I think OP thinks its a curse not the PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is about race. Black American males have a disproportionately dysfunctional upbringing and that manifests itself in various ways. Attributing the bad behavior to racism doesn't erase the bad behavior. A thug is a thug even if the reason they became a thug was a poor uobringing due to the history of racism. At some point black men will have to take responsibility for own behavior despite the history of racism. Pretending black male behavior is fine and calling OP a racist for pointing out her personal experiences with black men won't change the bad behavior which they need to do if they are sincere about actually wanting women like OP to date black men ratber than.just insukt her.

I agree 110%! Your post really captures what has been bothering me about the constant denial of black men's antisocial behavior: Even if it is due to the legacy of slavery or segregation or daddy never loving them, what does that have to do with the women who have to deal with black men? Should we sacrifice ourselves on the altar of PC by choosing men who will never make good husbands and fathers? That is what a lot of black women do, with disastrous consequences for them and their children. There is a real misogyny in thinking that is okay.

NP here. It does make it very difficult as an educated black woman in her 40s to find eligible black men. There's a lot of damaged souls out there. And like you said, even if I completely understand the circumstance they were born into, it just doesn't hold up as an excuse for what can be some pretty awful behavior.

With children off the table, I was prepared to date white men. It just hasn't happened for me...yet. Loving black men is a lot of work. You can invest the time and do the work, but he will always know there's a line of black women willing to (most happily) deal with his shit. It makes it very difficult.

I have no idea where my heart will lead me. I just wanted to acknowledge the truth of your words.

Good luck finding love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy for you OP! I think you're smart. I am white and have pretty much dated within my race but I could see what you mean. My number one pet peeve with guys is when they think they're God's gift to women, and when they're misogynistic. It would make sense that someone who has overcome financial odds to make it in life (since African Americans tend to be, overall, more economically disadvantaged- of course, there are many exceptions to this) then they would be a bit cocky and full of themselves.

I definitely get what OP is saying, and I dont think there's anything wrong with it.

OP, I am glad you found a man you love, who treats you well. And if you had to avoid a certain group of people to find it, even a group you might have been expected to date, well- somehow that's what happens in life! Regardless of race.

Good for you.

Aww, is that you, OP?

I am a white woman and I don't give a flying f@uck who white men are dating! They can date white, black, Asian, alien - I don't care one bit!

Op here.

1. You sound very angry. There is help available for that.

2. You are not very intelligent. Can you really not pick up on the differences in syntax and sentence structure between the post above and my OP. It should be obvious to you that the post is not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here and I have no idea why some people to whom this thread presumably does not apply are posting ad hominems repeatedly. If you think black men are great, then go date one. If you disapprove of interracial dating, then date intraracially. Save the rest of your drama for someone who cares.

As someone who has dated within and outside my race, you do sound extremely damaged. I agree with an earlier poster, why not focus on your own fiancé. Your post appears as though you are seeking validation for your choices, who cares. Now, just hope that you do not taint your sons born from your Blackness that they are lesser than because of yours and their color.

Op here - I made clear in my first post that I am looking for responses from other women who similarly prefer white men. If you don't care, then why are you and the rest of the angry PC police in this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a black woman that is married to a white man, and all I can say is that your post is offensive, and you need to expand your world view and/or life experience, as they both come across as embarrassingly shallow.

Sometimes the truth can be offensive but nonetheless it's the truth. You didn't marry a black man either yet you criticize OP for not wanting to do so. She's honest, you're disingenuous.

That poster is probably not a racist like you PP and married a man she loved, who happened to be White. This thread is really funny, considering all the white women walking and driving around DC and MD with children made with their Black husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is about race. Black American males have a disproportionately dysfunctional upbringing and that manifests itself in various ways. Attributing the bad behavior to racism doesn't erase the bad behavior. A thug is a thug even if the reason they became a thug was a poor uobringing due to the history of racism. At some point black men will have to take responsibility for own behavior despite the history of racism. Pretending black male behavior is fine and calling OP a racist for pointing out her personal experiences with black men won't change the bad behavior which they need to do if they are sincere about actually wanting women like OP to date black men ratber than.just insukt her.

I agree 110%! Your post really captures what has been bothering me about the constant denial of black men's antisocial behavior: Even if it is due to the legacy of slavery or segregation or daddy never loving them, what does that have to do with the women who have to deal with black men? Should we sacrifice ourselves on the altar of PC by choosing men who will never make good husbands and fathers? That is what a lot of black women do, with disastrous consequences for them and their children. There is a real misogyny in thinking that is okay.

NP here. It does make it very difficult as an educated black woman in her 40s to find eligible black men. There's a lot of damaged souls out there. And like you said, even if I completely understand the circumstance they were born into, it just doesn't hold up as an excuse for what can be some pretty awful behavior.

With children off the table, I was prepared to date white men. It just hasn't happened for me...yet. Loving black men is a lot of work. You can invest the time and do the work, but he will always know there's a line of black women willing to (most happily) deal with his shit. It makes it very difficult.

I have no idea where my heart will lead me. I just wanted to acknowledge the truth of your words.

Thank you for being honest. DC, NYC, Atlanta, and most big cities are full of black women in your position, yet the liars in this thread would pretend otherwise. I work with a huge variety of smart, beautiful black women of various shades, backgrounds, personalities, body shapes etc. They are all united by their terrible experiences dating black men. Every other demographic of woman in my workplace is married or engaged by 32ish, but the black women are overwhelmingly not married and have no prospects in sight. The black men are trying to date three, four, or more women at a time and can't be bothered to treat any of their girlfriends decently. This is real life and a lot has been written on how common this is among American black people. But if you, as a black woman, decide to opt out, the backlash is swift and suddenly no one knows what you are talking about. Everything is peachy keen and every black woman they know is married to a faithful, gorgeous black neurosurgeon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a black woman that is married to a white man, and all I can say is that your post is offensive, and you need to expand your world view and/or life experience, as they both come across as embarrassingly shallow.

Sometimes the truth can be offensive but nonetheless it's the truth. You didn't marry a black man either yet you criticize OP for not wanting to do so. She's honest, you're disingenuous.

That poster is probably not a racist like you PP and married a man she loved, who happened to be White. This thread is really funny, considering all the white women walking and driving around DC and MD with children made with their Black husbands.

Black men treat and value white women differently than black women. You know this, so stop pretending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here and I have no idea why some people to whom this thread presumably does not apply are posting ad hominems repeatedly. If you think black men are great, then go date one. If you disapprove of interracial dating, then date intraracially. Save the rest of your drama for someone who cares.

As someone who has dated within and outside my race, you do sound extremely damaged. I agree with an earlier poster, why not focus on your own fiancé. Your post appears as though you are seeking validation for your choices, who cares. Now, just hope that you do not taint your sons born from your Blackness that they are lesser than because of yours and their color.

Op here - I made clear in my first post that I am looking for responses from other women who similarly prefer white men. If you don't care, then why are you and the rest of the angry PC police in this thread?

Sweetie I am not angry and far from PC. But as I stated and you have confirmed, you are seeking validation for your choices from a group of anonymous people. That in and of itself is SAD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe me, I've seen with my own 2 eyes that some (not all) white women will get blood boiling angry if a white man is interested in a woman of any color except them.

As far as I'm concerned, date whoever you want to date. It's no one's business who you choose to be in a relationship with no matter what color.

Yes, it happens. I've received a glare and racist comment from a white woman when I (Asian) was with my DH (white). I've also heard negative comments from some Asian men about Asian women dating white men. It probably happens in every race.

White women are very jealous of Asians because Asians tend to be less prone to eat themselves to gargantuan dimensions.

Hmm. Interesting. No one on this thread has said anything rude about Asian women. Yet you seem very bitter and mean toward white women. Who's jealous again?

l

This is the same kind of reality denial as up thread concerning black male dating behavior. American white women on AVERAGE are grossly obese. Many aa women are even worse. In contrast, Asian women on the whole tend to be much more HEALTHY, PETITE,and slender. Obese women tend to blame others for their obesity and are jealous of more healthy and attractive women. There is a thread right now about a woman jealous of her own daughter.

Healthy, petite, slender and ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a black woman that is married to a white man, and all I can say is that your post is offensive, and you need to expand your world view and/or life experience, as they both come across as embarrassingly shallow.

Sometimes the truth can be offensive but nonetheless it's the truth. You didn't marry a black man either yet you criticize OP for not wanting to do so. She's honest, you're disingenuous.

That poster is probably not a racist like you PP and married a man she loved, who happened to be White. This thread is really funny, considering all the white women walking and driving around DC and MD with children made with their Black husbands.

Black men treat and value white women differently than black women. You know this, so stop pretending.

I would not know this. But hey, I've dated and been in relationships with Black, White, and Latino men. I've been treated wonderfully by all because that is what I require and continue to require from my now husband. Why? Because, I am wonderful.