dating as a 40+ single mom
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Anonymous
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In my late 20's, I dated a single mom. My parents were not crazy about the idea. But love isn't predictable - you meet someone, talk for hours, and start falling for the person. It was very different for me to have to deal with her child and ex, who actually was a decent guy. OP, we broke up for reasons that had nothing to do with her status as a mom. But as a PP mentioned, there are men out there who would welcome a woman with children into their life. Maybe they have been too busy at work? Fond of their nieces/nephews but haven't met the right person? Feel that a woman they have met, and who happens to have kids, is a unique person, etc.
Hang in there, do things you like, live your life. There will be love for you if you believe in it. |
Anonymous
I think that's from hair restoration companies. Balding guys, especially the ones with shaved heads are HOT! |
Anonymous
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I have noticed that some women who have bald or balding dads don't like bald guys. I can kind of see if you have a hard time seeing "bald" as "sexual" if you've always associated "bald" with "dad."
I think bald can be sexy, and balding is no biggie. Then again, my dad has a seriously thick head of hair (at age 68), so for me, bald doesn't remind me of dad. |
Anonymous
Because when you have full custody, you do drop off and pick up. Add in commutes, and you can squeeze in your 8.5 hours and still make pickup. To take extra time is to require a sitter. Or you have to be rich enough to have a nanny or au pair who will be willing to do the extra hours. You also tend not to know the other moms at daycare or aftercare enough to be able to trade caregiving on a random day. I knew a few daycare parents, but now my son's in K, I really don't know any of the parents at all. Never have the opportunity to see them. If you're getting enough child support to be able to fart around when your kids are in school or in paid care, the dad probably also takes them sometimes so you can get out. But with no CS or father in the picture, you have to make it work to stay well employed. |
Anonymous
doing a chit-chat with strangers at the park is different, the problem with trying to 'sneak' in a date is that kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for being. while they may not know it's a date they do know something is going on. that's not something I would want to expose my daughter to especially at her age. I'll introduce her to a woman when we more than just serious as I want my DD to know, see and really understand what a loving, respectful and mature relationship actually is - not for her to see her dad flirting (which I do somewhat shamelessly when I'm alone) or prancing around with different flavors of the month. maybe it's just me but the only thing I'd do in front of my DD is carry on a friendly conversation - if I'm interested in the woman, I have no problem asking her for her number so that we can have a proper first date (even if it's just a more typical meet-and-greet) as two adults w/o the kids. It's worked so far as I haven't been turned down and have gotten more numbers than I cared to receive. |
Anonymous
| i think if dating is a priority to you, you find a way to make room for it in your life. just as with working out and everything else. i say this from experience. |
Anonymous
| Wow, this is so depressing. I am only 31 and better hurry while I am still young and hot lol |
Anonymous
What was your goal when you married your ex? Did you even discuss patenting her son? Did you want to parent him? Did you want a child with her? |
Anonymous
| 42 divorced woman ith kid here. Those guys saying they don't have to date single moms like me are not woman haters, they are realistic. One of the PPs said early in this forum that most men around here have a choice to date younger women bc there are just so many of them here. Period. The ones I date are the ones who are not as desirable to the younger women bc of their looks and because of their baggage, I.e. kids from prior marriage. And I am an attractive woman. Body is not perfect bc having a kid made my mid section flabbier with extra ski, but I am definitlyn decent looking. Not easy out there at all. |
Anonymous
There are so many. We can still be picky, especially because we already have children and, usually, financial stability. |
Anonymous
But most young women don't want to date men in their 40s. They want to date men their own age because older men often have kids or baggage from divorce, and are just in a different stage if life. And deservedly or not, men over 40 who have never married are regarded with suspicion. |
Anonymous
I suppose I was just reacting to that particular poster, who posts hateful threads about women constantly, painting all women with one very negative, broad brush. He loathes women and uses this forum to express that. Someone must have really, really hurt him. |
Anonymous
That hasn't been my experience, and I'm not a supermodel. There's a good chance that the men who would rather date women under 30 are not on my radar. You've seen this in your circle of friends or this is your personal experience? |
Anonymous
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"Because when you have full custody, you do drop off and pick up. Add in commutes, and you can squeeze in your 8.5 hours and still make pickup. To take extra time is to require a sitter. Or you have to be rich enough to have a nanny or au pair who will be willing to do the extra hours. You also tend not to know the other moms at daycare or aftercare enough to be able to trade caregiving on a random day. I knew a few daycare parents, but now my son's in K, I really don't know any of the parents at all. Never have the opportunity to see them.
If you're getting enough child support to be able to fart around when your kids are in school or in paid care, the dad probably also takes them sometimes so you can get out. But with no CS or father in the picture, you have to make it work to stay well employed. " This was class-ist of me. I'm a professional, so as long as I get my work done, I can take a long lunch once in a while with no repercussions (and I do!). If you're a lower level employee who must clock a certain amount of time daily, I can see your point. My overall point was that if I were single, I wouldn't let time constraints from kids and job deter me. Then again, I have a high sex drive and high desire for romantic intimacy, so I prioritize having a relationship more highly than other women. |
Anonymous
My goal was to be in a loving partnership. We definitely discussed parenting her son; we went to pre-marital counseling and had worked out, at least in verbal commitments, a bunch of 'ground rules' for how things would work. I did not particularly want to parent him, nor did my ex, her ex or her child want me to parent him. I did want a child with her, but we were unable to. I do wonder how much that would have changed things. However: her child was not in and of himself an issue; the issue had more to do with her relationship with me, and that she made it very very clear she would always prioritize him ahead of me, even when there was no competing claim or need to prioritize anyone. |