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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously, your best bet will be with guys who understand your situation - divorced guys with kids.  Maybe meeting them through kids' activities.[/quote]

I'm a man.  I have no children of my own.

I was married to someone who had a child from her previous marriage.  I would never, ever, again marry a woman who had children from a previous relationship who hadn't yet left the nest.  Period.  My ex-wife was 42 when we got married and her son was in his late teens, and the child's father was very involved.  I wasn't really expected to parent, and I got along well with the child and also her ex.  However, it was painfully clear that I was not and never would be as important as the child.  I have seen this happen to men with their own children, nevermind a step-child.  I'm not up for taking care of someone else's problem thanks.  And no, the step-child was not the cause of our divorce (me being taken for granted was).

I would date and have a casual relationship (including sex) with a single mom, but since most seem to want to find a replacement dad to complete the family (ie, a long term serious commitment and involvement), so I don't really even consider dating them since we really have different goals: it would be wrong to get someone's hopes up knowing I wouldn't want to follow through - that would be just using someone.

Dating a single parent is a logistical nightmare as well - the entire (adult) world has to yield to the less flexible moving parts: the kids.  I hear some women in the comments here saying "gee, it's not worth $50 to just have coffee" - well, yes, 100% agree. It's also just coffee and it's not worth trying to work your whole damn schedule around the one 30 minute block in the two week window when single mom can get free.  I get it - it's a totally legit demand on your time - but it's also totally the limitations on what single moms are offering (hint: not much, after they give of themselves to their kids).

Other than the reality that most single dads wind up with fewer custody hours, I think single fathers are basically the same.  And since they have a balancing/competing claim on their priorities/time, it's much easier to say "hey, your kid's time demands do not trump my (kid's) time demands.".

This all sounds a little bitter, and I'm not at all bitter and I actually feel very much for these women who are under super-hero pressure: be a full time parent, full time earner [i]AND[/i] somehow try to avoid being totally isolated while you do it, but beyond meeting other single parents - people in the same, shared state of life - your pickings are going to be very very slim.  [/quote]

What was your goal when you married your ex? Did you even discuss patenting her son? Did you want to parent him? Did you want a child with her? [/quote]

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