dating as a 40+ single mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I had a conversation with a single male co worker and asked him about dating a 40+ Woman with a child. He said that most guys will consider attractiveness first, then personality, then kids. He didn't think the "single mom" thing would be an issue...at least not for him. He is 34 and I am 43.

as a single dad, dating single moms just seems to fit with my life style and my desire to have a new family (not that single women w/o kids can't be part of it). but the first step, and I think it applies to almost every guy, is that there has to be physical attraction. the other stuff is important, but it comes afterwards - just how we are programmed.

and FWIW, to me there is nothing hotter than a 36+ single mom who is attractive and in shape. when you have that chemistry and mutual attraction it's like being on a honeymoon all over again

EVERY human is programmed this way. It's not just men. Even the biggest stud in DC is going to meet women who are interested in him because they don't find him physically attractive.

+1

For us women, physical attractiveness is the number one thing too at least it is for me. Of course not being psycho and having a brain are important too. But without that initial spark, it's a friendship, nothing more.

Luckily, both men and women are attracted to all different physical types. I'm tall, blonde and thin and fit the western ideal pretty closely. But, back when I was single, I had men I was interested in ditch me for short, fat, older women. Obviously, that's what floated the guy's boat. It's good that we all don't for for the same type or very few of us would manage to pair off.

Yup. I like curvy, Italian and Jewish women with wavy hair (glasses are also a +). A supermodel could walk by and it would do nothing for me.

I'd be perfect for you!

Yeah, you and just about every other yenta on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's male coworker, late 30's, with 50% custody of 3 kids age 5 and under, has dated no fewer than three woman (all divorcees) in the 6 months he's been divorced. All friend-of-friend type thing.

However, he is a great guy, who's wife had a midlife crisis. He did not seek the divorce.

I have a friend who's a wonderful guy, divorced with young kids. His problem is that women his age are empty nesters, and women with kids his kids' ages are at least 10 years younger and think he's too old. Sigh.

Feel like that is an issue. I'm a woman with a 9 year old. A lot of men my age (48) have older kids (or are looking to date younger woman and have kids) and the men who seem to contact me are generally 55 and have kids in college or about to go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found myself single again at age 33, with three kids in elementary school and more than 50% custody, and was working full time. I thought nobody would be interested in having a relationship with me. I met one guy who only was interested in casual sex and that turned me off. I ended up meeting a really fabulous man, a divorced single dad with 50% custody and after 3 years of dating he proposed and we got married about 8 months ago. There are happy endings out there.

I've lived my life under a rock. At 33, I'd been married 18 months and had no children yet. That's a lot of living prior to age 40, to be remarried already at that point.

NP here. What is your point?

That perhaps she married too young if at 33 she's already had three kids and been through a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I married too young. I am aware of that, in retrospect. But, thanks for pointing it out.

[Anonymous]

Within reason - yes.

When we're young we grow and change more rapidly.
Once we've fully matured that tends to slow somewhat so age discrepancies mean less.

The poster has a point - some are just sexually better matches with both male and female in different phase of life primes. But he's missed the point superficial dalliance is not always the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of different types of baggage out there. Kids grow up and leave home. The woman who isn't a mom and has baggage from a shopping addiction or daddy issues is more appealing?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

As a 32 y/o single male, i'd trade the attractiveness of a single mom for a childless woman. Id pump and dump the single mom, but nothing more than that. I have options, I'm not getting drawn into your bullshit with your baby daddy and all thag crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 32 y/o single male, i'd trade the attractiveness of a single mom for a childless woman. Id pump and dump the single mom, but nothing more than that. I have options, I'm not getting drawn into your bullshit with your baby daddy and all thag crap.

Great. Sounds you're on the path to be a baby daddy and will experience all this drama firsthand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 32 y/o single male, i'd trade the attractiveness of a single mom for a childless woman. Id pump and dump the single mom, but nothing more than that. I have options, I'm not getting drawn into your bullshit with your baby daddy and all thag crap.

As a 32 y.o. single male, what are you doing on DC Urban Moms???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 32 y/o single male, i'd trade the attractiveness of a single mom for a childless woman. Id pump and dump the single mom, but nothing more than that. I have options, I'm not getting drawn into your bullshit with your baby daddy and all thag crap.

As a 32 y.o. single male, what are you doing on DC Urban Moms???

Busted LOL. He's beating his own meat at night, if you know what I mean. No single, childless, desirable male is voluntarily on this site.

[Anonymous]

Apparently, his pump and dump philosophy has left him with nothing better to do on a Saturday night than post here.

WTG with that plan, bro. We're all so envious.

[Anonymous]

One of my good friends is going through a divorce (40) Husband is dragging his heels on the papers but they have been separated since Christmas. About a month ago she started dating another divorcee (3-4 years younger then her) that she met a restaurant bar while dining alone. That said she is gorgeous, tall and in amazing shape. Also had a great personality, natural born leader and successfully runs her own small business. 3 kids ranging from 5-8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a conversation with a single male co worker and asked him about dating a 40+ Woman with a child. He said that most guys will consider attractiveness first, then personality, then kids. He didn't think the "single mom" thing would be an issue...at least not for him. He is 34 and I am 43.

he'll bang her, but not "date" her if he wants his own family (obviously).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my good friends is going through a divorce (40) Husband is dragging his heels on the papers but they have been separated since Christmas. About a month ago she started dating another divorcee (3-4 years younger then her) that she met a restaurant bar while dining alone. That said she is gorgeous, tall and in amazing shape. Also had a great personality, natural born leader and successfully runs her own small business. 3 kids ranging from 5-8.

I'm guessing your point is NOT that a hot 40 yo lady got approached in a bar,
but that he didn't run screaming away when he found out she has kids.

Well like previous posters have already said: most guys are singularly attracted to hotness, the rest is just details.

PS, hotness over 40 is 80% attributable to just being physically fit.
Many of the girls whom I didn't find attractive in HS are suddenly major MILFs
due to the simple fact they've maintained their HS weight.
There is just something about an active/fit mom that makes me weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, his pump and dump philosophy has left him with nothing better to do on a Saturday night than post here.

WTG with that plan, bro. We're all so envious.

I'm doing pretty well for myself, thanks for asking. Life is great being a successful single male in DC, too bad the odds will never be stacked in your favor.