Dealing with jealous sister who's still TTC

[Anonymous]

YOU, not toy.

Sigh. Now I'm the one who looks nuts.

[Anonymous]

OP You seem to have a need to believe that other women (whether it is your sister or anonymous posters on the internet) are jealous of you. You are projecting a wealth of insecurity cloaked in over-the-top self-centeredness. Seriously, you should talk to an unbiased therapist. Your anger, hostility and self-absorbtion isn't healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last time I saw her she kept staring at my belly and then went to our mother to try to ascertain the truth. She didn't ask me because we are not speaking. We stopped speaking years ago when I learned the extent of her jealousy and competitiveness (not just with me but also with other women). I had asked my mother not to say anything so she denied she knew I was pg.

Why are you still seeing her if you're unwilling to speak to her? Why are you putting your mother in the situation of having to actively lie on your behalf? Why are you keeping your pregnancy a secret if: 1) you are in front of her, visibly pregnant, and 2) you have told others in your family who are there at the same event?

I'm quite sure she has issues, but so do you.

Sounds as though she has even more issues than your sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP IS F*CKING NUTS... KEEP POSTING LADY!!!

<<<makes popcorn>>>

OP, I posted earlier about your Xmas post and how you liked rubbing things in your sisters face. Just to clarify, I am not TTC, my student loans were paid off by myself and through a 4 year scholarship (from the sweat on my brow, not from laying on my back), I was homecoming queen, never had trouble finding dates and my family is normal.

So, when I tell you honey you are nuts I say it because you see nuts. I am not jealous of you, I am laughing at you.

And while at it, you also got that degree from Harvard too, didn't you? You write like you got a 4 year gymnastics scholarship to Southwestern Rinky Dink University.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP You seem to have a need to believe that other women (whether it is your sister or anonymous posters on the internet) are jealous of you. You are projecting a wealth of insecurity cloaked in over-the-top self-centeredness. Seriously, you should talk to an unbiased therapist. Your anger, hostility and self-absorbtion isn't healthy.

Ummm, no, I don't believe other women are jealous of me, just my sister. Did you go to the same Southwestern Rinky Dink University as the other PP or does reading carefully just tire your brain out? I wrote already that my friends are very supportive of me. None of them are jealous of me. And to you or the other poster, we don't celebrate "Xmas" so I did not see her on "Xmas" day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sorry, my response got lodged in the middle of your next diatribe, so here it is again, although you have no interest in hearing what any of us have to say unless we agree with you. not sure why you even came on here asking for advice.

For the record, I am an attractive person who just became pregnant with her third baby after the first try. You came on here asking for advice and now you are dismissing everyone's words, because you don't like what you are hearing. I agree, snarkiness is bad, but a lot of snarkiness comes out when the OP is blatantly naive to her own issues. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you keep wanting people to vilify your sister and let you off the hook. We are not talking to your sister, only you can change your behavior. A lot of people are reacting to you because you sound like a hostile, competitive, jealous person, you truly come across this way!

For the record, it's not everyone. There were a couple of supportive posts that wondered why others were so snarky and harsh. Read carefully. You don't have to let me "off the hook." You just have to ask for clarification and I always provide it. I've said absolutely nothing that was hostile. I avoid my sister and that's not hostile, that's to protect myself from her mean-spiritednes. I've said nothing to show I'm jealous. If I have privileges in my life and I admit to them on an anonymous board that doesn't mean I'm jealous or competitive. I'm acknowledging the obvious to ascertain a motivation for my sister's behavior.

And yes, it's okay to reject the "advice" on anonymous forums from strangers. That's any poster's prerogative. Sorry if it bugs you so much. But I didn't reject all the poster's advice either. Some were supportive and offered good advice.

I live contentedly and I don't want for anything in my life. So there's no motivation for jealousy or competitiveness. Sorry if that irritates you too.

[Anonymous]

Sweetie, every time you post, you make yourself look more unstable. Perhaps your hormones are really out of whack. You should talk to your doctor.

[Anonymous]

Rinky Dink degree... How clever OP!! Actually English isn't my first language, I speak five languages actually. Maybe if you weren't so busy obsessing about your sister and scheming, you'd have time for other hobbies like language studies. Oh and I have a masters degree, which wasn't paid off by a man. Your sister is paying off her own loans and I applaud her for that. You seem very entitled, so you wouldn't understand the feeling of accomplishment to pay your own way in life. I think you're jealous of HER. Competitive, much??

Keep posting, please!!!

[Anonymous]

Nutty OP's original post:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/206552.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nutty OP's original post:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/206552.page

many, many people who responded to the first post suggested that OP take the high road, tell her sister to avoid further anguish. She just will keep posting tills he hears what she wants to hear i guess.

[Anonymous]

I've skimmed a lot of this, but here's my 2 cents.

1. It is not completely out of the ordinary for sisters to jealous of one another. In fact, I think it is quite common on some level. I have two sisters. Two of us is pregnant, one is trying. I know that the one still trying feels left out and a little jealous, but she handles it well and we try to be sensitive to her feelings by not talking pregnancy all the time.
2. I understand minimizing your contact with your sister, OP. As someone else pointed out, you can only control your behavior and it sounds like no good would come out of frequent contact. That said, I think not speaking is childish, ramps up the drama and sets a bad example. I can't imagine giving anyone the silent treatment.
3. I think you need to just let a lot of this go. She has issues, but you seem more focused on it than is healthy.
4. As others have said...and it seems the ship has sailed as the holidays passed...you should tell your sister you are pregnant. Once you're showing no, you don't "owe" it to anyone to tell them, but it makes it awkward for you and everyone else toh ave them checking you out and guessing. if she is struggling with infertility, I think it is just mean to make her guess and gives her ammunition.

Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have to say you are just a bitch.

I love you generalize that these comments are comming from infertile women.

Seriously, your last post sealed the deal. You are the most pathetic, sick poster we've had on here for awhile. And that's saying something. Pat yourself on the back. Once again, you are the winner.

[Anonymous]

OP feels a need to respond to very poster who disagrees with her, I think this probably indicates that he actually has very little ability to "ignore" her sister. Silent treatment actually isn't ignoring, it's an attempt to manipulate and control.

[Anonymous]

OP, everytime you post I like your sister more and more.

I do feel sorry for your children though. At lest your spouse had a chance to pick you -- your children (and your sister) had no choice and are just subjected to you. FOREVER.

[Anonymous]

I like OP's sister too!! I have a lot of empathy for her having to live with OP for 18 years.