Dealing with jealous sister who's still TTC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I just don't agree. Yes IF is gut-wrenching. I was IF for years before. But as grown women maturity is expected to take over the initial swell of emotions such as jealousy. It's what separates us, or should separate us, from children, animals, and uncivilized people. And so why is it okay to cast unhappiness about our own lives on others?

I'm not speaking to my sister as a way to protect myself. Frankly, its also to protect my child too as she is comparing her child to mine constantly and fostering competitiveness between them. It gives her less ammunition and might actually be reducing the drama. If I shared information with her about my life the comparisons, the snide remarks, the comparing of our children, too, would just get worse.

I think the jealousy she feels is the cause and at the core of what makes the entire family feel uncomfortable. Maybe an all out discussion in front of a therapist and the family might be a good thing to resolve that. But now that would be real drama.

While I haven't yet read all of the posts, I have to say, OP, that I've gone through this with a close group of friends. I cut ties with the worst of the lot and limit my interactions with the rest. I'm sure they make snarky comments behind my back, along with comparisons, but given that I've created distance between us, I'm blissfully unaware.

FWIW, it took me a long time and a really challenging ordeal that our group went through to get to this point. Hopefully your journey will be less difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you bashing OP should be ashamed. She is the sister of a narcisist. She has had to start acting this way in order to remove the toxic person from her life. If this means ignoring her at family functions then, that is what she has to do. I agree that she should not put her mother in the middle, but sometimes you have to keep some distance from the nasty person. My SIL is the same way with my DH. Extremely jealous and just plain mean. We had to stop telling her everything. She did not find out I was pg until I was 8 months along. She would have made my life miserable if I had told her sooner. She came the baby shower for my first child and sat in a corner and sulked. She ruined every important occasion in my life up until the time I cut her off. Unless you have dealt with someone like this, you have absolutely no idea how you would act. I go to many family functions, and just act like my SIL is not there. If I was to speak to her, the passive aggresive behavior, the lying, the jealousy would start all over again. She is fit to be tied right now because she does not know what is going on in our life. This is the ONLY way to deal with someon like this.

I'm the poster who sympathized with OP shortly before this post because of close friends that behave like her sister. This post also spoke to me. It is all about toxic relationships and removing them from your life. It's the only way to deal with them. The only place I disagree is where OP involved her mother in a lie. It's better for OP's mother to answer the question honestly if asked; she doesn't have to share the information otherwise. There's no need to pit the mom against one of the daughters and force her to take sides, since it's between the two sisters.

[Anonymous]

But from OP's post, she also sounds like she has narcissistic traits.

And her obsession with all of this, and the fact that she keeps coming back again and again suggest a less than stable, mature person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oooohhhhhh look I have the last word!!!! And with those last words I would like to tell OP that she is a JOKE!!! I am laughing so hard at you.

OP will come post new insults in 5..4..3..2..

You bet I will, PP. If it'll frustrate you to the point of giving up your continuous snarky posts, of course I'll keep posting. If I'm that much of a joke you wouldn't keep communicating with me now, would you? No, you wouldn't. There's clearly a different reason why YOU keep posting. Because you enjoy the entertainment of ripping someone apart and watching them struggle when they're down. It's just like the other PP said, it's a train wreck you all thoroughly feed off of like parasites to fulfill your own boredom or stimulate that part of your demented brain that seems to need confrontation to feel solace. My guess is once you're frustrated enough, you'll look for the next poor DCUM'er who innocently posts to get advice and cause another train wreck.

It is hard to keep arguing though with women who really are just plain mean and stupid too, such as the other PP who said I must be mentally unstable to keep posting. But she apparently exhibits the height of intelligence and emotional stability by continually responding on this thread.

Get off this thread and crawl back into your miserable holes, snarks. I'm sorry your lives are so miserable that you need to seek entertainment at the expense of innocent posters.

This began as a truly innocent thread with a very serious problem I have with my sister. It took me years to get the nerve up to discuss it on here. You derailed it on purpose. I will never, ever, post a question on DCUM again.

As for my mother, I have taken that one piece of decent advice and have ceased telling her anything anymore about my pregnancy. It is driving my sister crazy apparently, because she has no information to feed her jealousy off of, but at least my mom can never feel uncomfortable having to lie.

[Anonymous]

Okay, OP, do you feel better now?

That's a rhetorical question BTW. No need to answer.

[Anonymous]

Yikes

[Anonymous]

"I will never, never post a question on DCUM again."

Maybe not, but you sure as heck won't leave this thread.

You really don't get it -the more you do this, the more evidence there is that you are a mental case.

In all seriousness, for your own good, get DCUM, go see some friends, and stop engaging people in this manner. You say you have a great marriage, child, etc. Go enjoy, them, then. Because if your life is really full and complete, what people say on here won't put a chink in your armor.

[Anonymous]

It's not only this thread, it's many, many threads that are contaminated by snarky posts oftentimes for the pure entertainment. I'll keep posting until you snarks stop. The goal is to teach you to stop posting and realize snarkiness won't get you anywhere but frustrated and tired.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not only this thread, it's many, many threads that are contaminated by snarky posts oftentimes for the pure entertainment. I'll keep posting until you snarks stop. The goal is to teach you to stop posting and realize snarkiness won't get you anywhere but frustrated and tired.

oh dear OP, there are thousands of us out there reading this and there is just you. What a challenge you have ahead of yourself. I do hope you will get a break from it after the baby is born. Maybe you could consider it DCUM leave, since it's kind of like a full-time job you have taken on here. Really letting people bother you this much can't be good for your health. Will you stop when your baby turns 1? That might be a good time, surely after a year of this back and forth you will be ready to get out of the sandbox? no?

[Anonymous]

As for my mother, I have taken that one piece of decent advice and have ceased telling her anything anymore about my pregnancy. It is driving my sister crazy apparently, because she has no information to feed her jealousy off of, but at least my mom can never feel uncomfortable having to lie.[code]

I assume this is the point of all of your childish games---to drive your sister crazy. Your narcissism is truly astounding.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP:

It's not me, it's you.

[Anonymous]

Hahahahahahaha!!! Wonder if OP is friends with Amy, Brazilian Nanny, FBFNFTN and the maroon wash cloth!!

Oh Lordy, get some help OP. You are certifiable. Trust me when I say, no one (and I mean NO ONE) is jealous of you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oooohhhhhh look I have the last word!!!! And with those last words I would like to tell OP that she is a JOKE!!! I am laughing so hard at you.

OP will come post new insults in 5..4..3..2..

You bet I will, PP. If it'll frustrate you to the point of giving up your continuous snarky posts, of course I'll keep posting. If I'm that much of a joke you wouldn't keep communicating with me now, would you? No, you wouldn't. There's clearly a different reason why YOU keep posting. Because you enjoy the entertainment of ripping someone apart and watching them struggle when they're down. It's just like the other PP said, it's a train wreck you all thoroughly feed off of like parasites to fulfill your own boredom or stimulate that part of your demented brain that seems to need confrontation to feel solace. My guess is once you're frustrated enough, you'll look for the next poor DCUM'er who innocently posts to get advice and cause another train wreck.

It is hard to keep arguing though with women who really are just plain mean and stupid too, such as the other PP who said I must be mentally unstable to keep posting. But she apparently exhibits the height of intelligence and emotional stability by continually responding on this thread.

Get off this thread and crawl back into your miserable holes, snarks. I'm sorry your lives are so miserable that you need to seek entertainment at the expense of innocent posters.

This began as a truly innocent thread with a very serious problem I have with my sister. It took me years to get the nerve up to discuss it on here. You derailed it on purpose. I will never, ever, post a question on DCUM again.

As for my mother, I have taken that one piece of decent advice and have ceased telling her anything anymore about my pregnancy. It is driving my sister crazy apparently, because she has no information to feed her jealousy off of, but at least my mom can never feel uncomfortable having to lie.

I love how OP keeps talking about how intelligent she is and how everyone else went to Rinky Dink Universities... Can someone please translate the bolded statement? Nice writing for a 'genuis'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahahaha!!! Wonder if OP is friends with Amy, Brazilian Nanny, FBFNFTN and the maroon wash cloth!!

Oh Lordy, get some help OP. You are certifiable. Trust me when I say, no one (and I mean NO ONE) is jealous of you!!

I am new to DCUM and completely bewildered/amused by this thread! But, I keep hearing about this "Amy" and I am curious! Could someone post a link to this?