if you stay at home with kids (mom or dad), is cleaning one of your "jobs"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I truly do not think most WOHM's in the real world think SAHM's are lazy, whining idiots who eat bon bons all day, but there are some truly nasty people on DCUM. Look in the mirror and ask yourselves why you get off on making other people feel like crap.

Nice try, but OP still comes off as a Princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I truly do not think most WOHM's in the real world think SAHM's are lazy, whining idiots who eat bon bons all day, but there are some truly nasty people on DCUM. Look in the mirror and ask yourselves why you get off on making other people feel like crap.

Nice try, but OP still comes off as a Princess.

yup, no wonder her husband works so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading the thread at this post. There is nothing lazy about supervising a 4 yo and 1 yo at a pool, especially since they are probably playing in different pools at the same time. When we get home from the pool I'm exhausted.

This is not lazy, it is dangerous. There was no way I would have ever left my 1 yo in a pool without my physical presence and I would not let my now 4-yo in a pool that I wasn't watching. So unless OP is splitting pool duty with a friend, I don't see how she could responsibly be watching 2 kids that young in 2 different pools.

NP-I mostly stay in the baby pool area with my infant and my 2 yo. The 2 yo is terrified of the "big pool". The 4 yo swims around in the shallow 3 - 3 1/2 foot part of the big pool (divided by a rope). He is a really strong swimmer (red cross level 6) and there are lifeguards, and I can see both of them from where I am in the baby pool. If I didn't do it this way, we wouldn't have been able to go to the pool all summer. It is not relaxing, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I'm with your DH on this one.

When I was a SAHM, keeping the house clean was something that came with it, clutter included.

As a homemaker, a SAHM, unless you have a full time maid, then it is your job to take cae of children and their needs, cook, clean, launder clothes, grocery shop, take clothes to cleaners. You may not get a paycheck but you opted to stay home and all the duties this entails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I'm with your DH on this one.

When I was a SAHM, keeping the house clean was something that came with it, clutter included.

As a homemaker, a SAHM, unless you have a full time maid, then it is your job to take cae of children and their needs, cook, clean, launder clothes, grocery shop, take clothes to cleaners. You may not get a paycheck but you opted to stay home and all the duties this entails.

Who died and made you queen? That might have been what you and your DH agreed on, but every family makes its own choices about division of household tasks and childcare.

[Anonymous]

My DH stays at home and we are constantly having arguments about his job including cleaning up. Of course, I feel that's so much the case because our apt is pretty small. OP, maybe your house is too big. Big spaces are way too much to expect one person to keep tidy when two kids just come and wreak havoc behind you.

So yes, it is part of your job description to clean, but not to keep a spotless house.

[Anonymous]

"Who died and made you queen? That might have been what you and your DH agreed on, but every family makes its own choices about division of household tasks and childcare. "

It's obvious that Princess OP hasn't even come close to her DH's expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading the thread at this post. There is nothing lazy about supervising a 4 yo and 1 yo at a pool, especially since they are probably playing in different pools at the same time. When we get home from the pool I'm exhausted.

This is not lazy, it is dangerous. There was no way I would have ever left my 1 yo in a pool without my physical presence and I would not let my now 4-yo in a pool that I wasn't watching. So unless OP is splitting pool duty with a friend, I don't see how she could responsibly be watching 2 kids that young in 2 different pools.

NP-I mostly stay in the baby pool area with my infant and my 2 yo. The 2 yo is terrified of the "big pool". The 4 yo swims around in the shallow 3 - 3 1/2 foot part of the big pool (divided by a rope). He is a really strong swimmer (red cross level 6) and there are lifeguards, and I can see both of them from where I am in the baby pool. If I didn't do it this way, we wouldn't have been able to go to the pool all summer. It is not relaxing, though.

First, I'm going to call BS on your 4 year old being red cross level 6. That level is when kids can swim 100 meters freestyle with flip turns. But even if you have a mini-Michael Phelps on your hands, a 4 year old shouldn't be a pool unsupervised, even with a lifeguard. Remember that 16 year old lifeguard is watching a whole pool full of people. And if that meant that you couldn't go to the pool or that your 4 year old had to hang out in the baby pool, fine. But that's the sort of description that is the lead in to a newspaper story about a kid drowning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Who died and made you queen? That might have been what you and your DH agreed on, but every family makes its own choices about division of household tasks and childcare.

and clearly in the OP's case, her husband expects all of the household tasks to be done, so she needs to hop to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, I'm going to call BS on your 4 year old being red cross level 6. That level is when kids can swim 100 meters freestyle with flip turns. But even if you have a mini-Michael Phelps on your hands, a 4 year old shouldn't be a pool unsupervised, even with a lifeguard. Remember that 16 year old lifeguard is watching a whole pool full of people. And if that meant that you couldn't go to the pool or that your 4 year old had to hang out in the baby pool, fine. But that's the sort of description that is the lead in to a newspaper story about a kid drowning.

that's one damn good 4 year old...level 6 requirements:

LEVEL SIX: SKILL PROFICIENCY
The objective of Level Six is to polish strokes so
students swim with more ease, efficiency, power,
and smoothness over greater distances.
1 - Approach and hurdle
2 - Jump tuck diving
3 - Front/back crawl (100 yards one turn minimum
at wall)
4 - Breaststroke (25 yards)
5 - Sidestroke (25 yards)
6 - Butterfly (10 yards)
7 - Approach stroke (25 yards)
8 - Breaststroke turn
9 - Sidestroke turn
10- Speed turn and pull-out for breaststroke
11- Flip turn for front crawl
12- Pike/tuck surface dive
13- Alternate kicks for treading water
(3 min., 1 minute - no hands)
14- Throwing rescue
15- Roll spinal injury victim

I'm 35, was on swim team throughout high school, and still can't swim the damn butterfly.

Looks like thsi kid should be watching everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Look, a SAHM should only do the level of housework a nanny would be expected to do. That means I clean up the messes we make during the day, prepare our breakfast and lunches, and DH, as a member of this household, is expected to pitch in to keep it running, as well.

He is a dad and a husband, a part of the family and the house, not an employer to a maid and a nanny. He does his share of the laundry and the dishes, and takes care of dinner on his nights as well.

To expect a SAHP to be a full time housekeeper is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, a SAHM should only do the level of housework a nanny would be expected to do. That means I clean up the messes we make during the day, prepare our breakfast and lunches, and DH, as a member of this household, is expected to pitch in to keep it running, as well.

He is a dad and a husband, a part of the family and the house, not an employer to a maid and a nanny. He does his share of the laundry and the dishes, and takes care of dinner on his nights as well.

To expect a SAHP to be a full time housekeeper is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, a SAHM should only do the level of housework a nanny would be expected to do. That means I clean up the messes we make during the day, prepare our breakfast and lunches, and DH, as a member of this household, is expected to pitch in to keep it running, as well.

He is a dad and a husband, a part of the family and the house, not an employer to a maid and a nanny. He does his share of the laundry and the dishes, and takes care of dinner on his nights as well.

To expect a SAHP to be a full time housekeeper is ridiculous.

gee, wonder what you do for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

First, I'm going to call BS on your 4 year old being red cross level 6. That level is when kids can swim 100 meters freestyle with flip turns. But even if you have a mini-Michael Phelps on your hands, a 4 year old shouldn't be a pool unsupervised, even with a lifeguard. Remember that 16 year old lifeguard is watching a whole pool full of people. And if that meant that you couldn't go to the pool or that your 4 year old had to hang out in the baby pool, fine. But that's the sort of description that is the lead in to a newspaper story about a kid drowning.

At our pool, the "red cross level 6" kids have mastered freestyle side breathing, backstroke and those deep end bobs. They definitely don't do flip turns, so maybe our pool is using the wrong terminology, I doubt ds could swim 100 meters without stopping, isn't that four laps? Anyway, he is not unsupervised, I am watching him from the baby pool. And our pool is rarely crowded (neighborhood HOA type pool) so there are usually just a handful of other kids swimming. It is pretty common at our pool for kids his level/age to swim around the shallow end without their parents right there in the pool. Not your parenting, fine, I get it.

[Anonymous]

"To expect a SAHP to be a full time housekeeper is ridiculous. "

Because?