if you stay at home with kids (mom or dad), is cleaning one of your "jobs"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM and had to go into repressed memory therapy due to the whole ABC cancelling All My Children fiasco. Through this difficult time, we've found Guatemalans to be fairly cheap when it comes to hired help. I want to make sure my children have enough time to concentrate on their studies.

I agree 100% with you, whenever my house gets too bad, I swing by Home Depot on my way home from tennis lessons, pick up a few mexicans, and $50 later my hose is spotless.

People underestimate the power of illegals, they're a great resource.

You all sound disgusting.

this isn't disgusting, my husband brings home mexicans to work around the house all of the time. our home is far too large to manage by himself, so cheap pick up labor helps us out a lot.

the way I see it, if we don't give them work, they're just going to continue sponging off of the government.

If you have money for tennis lessons, you have money to pay them a fairer price than $50. Underpaying the vulnerable is nothing to be proud of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree--a 4 and 1 year old are plenty of work anyday. Some of these responders are DH a**holes or moms of kids who are already in school who are mis-remembering how all-consuming little kids were.

A big bag of B.S.!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I really wasn't expecting all the harsh criticism. To the pps who actually offered things I could do to help, thank you. It does seem like many SAHMs do a lot more than I do, which I had not realized (most of my friends do the same level as me). I will work on a schedule (pp who said I am not naturally organized hit it on the head-I need to do better in that area), and get the kids more involved with their tasks.

To everyone else who assumes I'm fat, lazy, at the pool all day, or whatever-eff off.

like it was said above:

less time whining on the internet....more time cleaning.

it seems like you have a serious priority issue, where are your kids right now while you're "looking for help"?

you should be less concerned with what your friends do, and more concerned with keeping your own affairs in order.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you sound LAZY...if you consider this a "job" takes some pride in it. Obviously your child under 2 naps each day and your 4 year old may nap too or has some quiet time. What do you do then? Catch up on DCUM?

I work 40+ hours a week; have a 4year old and am 8 months pregnant. My house is clean, refrigerator is stocked and I cook dinner every night during the week. I have no outside hep. People like you give SAHM a bad name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM and had to go into repressed memory therapy due to the whole ABC cancelling All My Children fiasco. Through this difficult time, we've found Guatemalans to be fairly cheap when it comes to hired help. I want to make sure my children have enough time to concentrate on their studies.

I agree 100% with you, whenever my house gets too bad, I swing by Home Depot on my way home from tennis lessons, pick up a few mexicans, and $50 later my hose is spotless.

People underestimate the power of illegals, they're a great resource.

You all sound disgusting.

this isn't disgusting, my husband brings home mexicans to work around the house all of the time. our home is far too large to manage by himself, so cheap pick up labor helps us out a lot.

the way I see it, if we don't give them work, they're just going to continue sponging off of the government.

If you have money for tennis lessons, you have money to pay them a fairer price than $50. Underpaying the vulnerable is nothing to be proud of.

if you did the math you'd realize that $50 for 4 hours labor is $12.50/hr.
factor in to the equation that it's not taxed income, that's roughly the equivelent of $22/hr. of taxed income.

now go ahead and tell me that's not fair. I pay damn well thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

"OP here: I really wasn't expecting all the harsh criticism. To the pps who actually offered things I could do to help, thank you. It does seem like many SAHMs do a lot more than I do, which I had not realized (most of my friends do the same level as me). "

Water seeks its own level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading the thread at this post. There is nothing lazy about supervising a 4 yo and 1 yo at a pool, especially since they are probably playing in different pools at the same time. When we get home from the pool I'm exhausted.

This is not lazy, it is dangerous. There was no way I would have ever left my 1 yo in a pool without my physical presence and I would not let my now 4-yo in a pool that I wasn't watching. So unless OP is splitting pool duty with a friend, I don't see how she could responsibly be watching 2 kids that young in 2 different pools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading the thread at this post. There is nothing lazy about supervising a 4 yo and 1 yo at a pool, especially since they are probably playing in different pools at the same time. When we get home from the pool I'm exhausted.

This is not lazy, it is dangerous. There was no way I would have ever left my 1 yo in a pool without my physical presence and I would not let my now 4-yo in a pool that I wasn't watching. So unless OP is splitting pool duty with a friend, I don't see how she could responsibly be watching 2 kids that young in 2 different pools.

she's not, she takes the pool time to whine on the internet, and see what her friends are up to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you have money for tennis lessons, you have money to pay them a fairer price than $50. Underpaying the vulnerable is nothing to be proud of.

if you did the math you'd realize that $50 for 4 hours labor is $12.50/hr.
factor in to the equation that it's not taxed income, that's roughly the equivelent of $22/hr. of taxed income.

now go ahead and tell me that's not fair. I pay damn well thank you very much.

I don't see how this is taking advantage of vulnerable people. I wouldn't call them vulnerable, they know exactly what they're doing.
I'm sure if they wanted to enter the job market just like everyone else, they'd apply for citizenship, and get a job.

I actually think they're pretty smart, they get all of the benefits of our govt programs, and don't have to pay in to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We are out of the house a lot, especially during summer, and I am with the kids, not sitting on my ass watching soaps in my nightgown. If you could expand on how taking kids to the pool and playing with other kids to build social skills is "pretentious" or "frivolous", I'd love to hear it! "

OP - you sound lazier and lazier with each post. Quit while you're ahead!

Wait - am I missing something? How is this lazy? (not OP but curious)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Between playdates, swimming classes, going to parks and playgrounds, etc, I just don't have a lot of time, energy, or frankly, desire, to do mundane housework. We have a housecleaner who comes 2x a month"

SAHMs have the HARDEST JOB in the world!

Oh for f**k's sake, please don't turn this into another mommy war debate with both sides frothing at the mouth to unload their vitriol.

[Anonymous]

OP - you may just need to revamp your routines a bit. Check out Flylady. I found that housework using my own system took tons longer than if I just used her system (and my house is much cleaner and neater now). I particularly like Flylady's concepts of one load of laundry a day, the 5 minute room rescue, and decluttering 15 minutes a day.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I truly do not think most WOHM's in the real world think SAHM's are lazy, whining idiots who eat bon bons all day, but there are some truly nasty people on DCUM. Look in the mirror and ask yourselves why you get off on making other people feel like crap.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you got some good tips so ignore the unhelpful comments. Before kids I was the most organized, efficient person in the world. As a SAHM, I am not but I am one of the lucky ones in that DH has always said my job was to take care of the kids. So, with that said, I do think your husband should be more understanding of what actually happens during a typical day and how hard it can be (sometimes) to get things done ...just like when I worked full-time, some days you got very little accomplished because others demanded so much of your time. Same thing really.

On the other other hand, I need structure and a clean, organized environment. So it is usually me upset with DH or DCs since throwing 3 kids in the mix can make it very difficult. ( I so get you on not being able to put the laundry away.) However, what I have learned is that you do need to stay home - at least some. When I was doing preschool drop-off, play date coffees, target runs, prescriptions, DH dry cleaning, exercise class. All that eats in to your day and you really cannot get anything done. Two or three days of that each week and you will never be able to do more than maintain. You just have to stay home more. The kids will eventually play with each other. Or, you take them outside, ride bikes, etc. for 20-30 min and then you tell them time to come in to make beds, laundry, etc. You might have to do this 2-4 times a day. I did. Break the chunks up for them. You don't have to clean 2-3 hrs straight.

Also, not sure if you are, but I am a morning person so now I run with a friend 3x a week at 6am. Sometimes before I go I throw in a load of laundry, empty dishwasher (but the kids really do that now - 1st thing after they have breakfast.) I also try and plan in my head what's for dinner. Very boring but we now tend to eat the same things. I was trying to have nice dinners but kids would only pick and then I was throwing out tons of food and wasting money. So, find 3-4 things they like and make them every week. That will free up time.

Hope this helps and don't be too hard on yourself. Also, really talk about expectations with your husband. He should not be comparing you to someone else but try and listen to his side and then come up with a compromise. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

+1 for day laborers, they have really saved me.