if you stay at home with kids (mom or dad), is cleaning one of your "jobs"?

[Anonymous]

"Between playdates, swimming classes, going to parks and playgrounds, etc, I just don't have a lot of time, energy, or frankly, desire, to do mundane housework. We have a housecleaner who comes 2x a month"

SAHMs have the HARDEST JOB in the world!

[Anonymous]

OP, here's a suggestion. rather than whining about how hard life is on message boards, why don't you get your fat lazy ass up from in front of the computer, and use this time to clean something. this is clearly down time right now, so hop to it.

[Anonymous]

I work FT, do not have a house cleaner and still keep a clean home and cook dinner most nights. I would LOVE to have someone come in twice a month to clean. Consider yourself lucky to have the option to SAH and have help twice a month.

But, in your defense, your DH sounds like he has some issues if he is that upset that the clothes, that have been cleaned and folded, are not put away in drawers when he gets home. Sounds like he has some unrealistic expectations that are pretty anal if you ask me.

I don't think you could make him happy no matter how clean and organized your house is. And to compare you to someone else's wife--that's a dick move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's a suggestion. rather than whining about how hard life is on message boards, why don't you get your fat lazy ass up from in front of the computer, and use this time to clean something. this is clearly down time right now, so hop to it.

OP is at the pool for day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My wife is currently a SAHM with a 10 and 14 year old. The last couple of years when she homeschooled, I had to have someone come in and clean 3 times a week. It was asking too much of her. Now that they're back in school, she does the cleaning buy may have someone come in one day every other week. "

Why? Is your DW disabled? Is there some reason the 10 and 14 year olds can't be assigned cleaning duties?

lol..they do have cleaning duties, just my wife has to have everything clean. Window wells, base boards, no dust behind toilet bowl, kitchen mopped every day - u get the idea.

[Anonymous]

^ plus the house is 4200 sq feet..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My wife is currently a SAHM with a 10 and 14 year old. The last couple of years when she homeschooled, I had to have someone come in and clean 3 times a week. It was asking too much of her. Now that they're back in school, she does the cleaning buy may have someone come in one day every other week. "

Why? Is your DW disabled? Is there some reason the 10 and 14 year olds can't be assigned cleaning duties?

lol..they do have cleaning duties, just my wife has to have everything clean. Window wells, base boards, no dust behind toilet bowl, kitchen mopped every day - u get the idea.

Why can't your wife do this work herself? Why are there so many lazy SAHMs on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

God, threads like these are why I hate DCUM at times. Why is it necessary to pile on the OP? Why not try to offer her workable solutions, instead of just calling her lazy and fat?

OP, I do think you should be doing more, and FWIW, I am one of those SAHMs who "do it all". Here are my tricks:

on the weekends, when DH is with the kiddos, I do a lot of prep for food for the weeks. Veggies washed, cut, and stored, meals planned for different nights, and I also make a crock-pot full of spaghetti sauce or chili. That stuff just gets better as it stews, so having it later in the week is great.

I make a "game" of straightening every evening with the kids. The little one likes to mimic his older bro, so one DS#1 is on board, it's easy.

Get a schedule going. It may be that you are just not that naturally organized, which is fine, but to promote marital harmony, it will really help if you have a schedule like: DS's laundry-monday. DH's and my laundry-tuesday. Sheets-weds. Vacuum/clean main areas-weds and sat (or more, if necessary). Towels-thurs. Grocery-sun and thurs.

Figure out EXACTLY what DH's expectations are, and realize that you may have to do more than you are used to. That being said, I do think some of his expectations are a little high, but it could be once he sees you making an effort, he chills out a bit too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM and had to go into repressed memory therapy due to the whole ABC cancelling All My Children fiasco. Through this difficult time, we've found Guatemalans to be fairly cheap when it comes to hired help. I want to make sure my children have enough time to concentrate on their studies.

I agree 100% with you, whenever my house gets too bad, I swing by Home Depot on my way home from tennis lessons, pick up a few mexicans, and $50 later my hose is spotless.

People underestimate the power of illegals, they're a great resource.

You all sound disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We are out of the house a lot, especially during summer, and I am with the kids, not sitting on my ass watching soaps in my nightgown. If you could expand on how taking kids to the pool and playing with other kids to build social skills is "pretentious" or "frivolous", I'd love to hear it! "

OP - you sound lazier and lazier with each post. Quit while you're ahead!

I stopped reading the thread at this post. There is nothing lazy about supervising a 4 yo and 1 yo at a pool, especially since they are probably playing in different pools at the same time. When we get home from the pool I'm exhausted.

The problem is that you could clean/declutter/organize 24-7 with small children and you would still never be "done". It is a neverending, thankless job. Do the bare minimum in between the housekeeping service.
I SAH with three small children (3, 1 and 1) and never in a million years would I agree to do all the housework, too. I would be back to work so fast it would make my DH's head spin. I think it is much more important to be out getting exercise and fresh air vs. sitting around the house while I clean something that no one cares about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM and had to go into repressed memory therapy due to the whole ABC cancelling All My Children fiasco. Through this difficult time, we've found Guatemalans to be fairly cheap when it comes to hired help. I want to make sure my children have enough time to concentrate on their studies.

I agree 100% with you, whenever my house gets too bad, I swing by Home Depot on my way home from tennis lessons, pick up a few mexicans, and $50 later my hose is spotless.

People underestimate the power of illegals, they're a great resource.

You all sound disgusting.

this isn't disgusting, my husband brings home mexicans to work around the house all of the time. our home is far too large to manage by himself, so cheap pick up labor helps us out a lot.

the way I see it, if we don't give them work, they're just going to continue sponging off of the government.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I really wasn't expecting all the harsh criticism. To the pps who actually offered things I could do to help, thank you. It does seem like many SAHMs do a lot more than I do, which I had not realized (most of my friends do the same level as me). I will work on a schedule (pp who said I am not naturally organized hit it on the head-I need to do better in that area), and get the kids more involved with their tasks.

To everyone else who assumes I'm fat, lazy, at the pool all day, or whatever-eff off.

[Anonymous]

"God, threads like these are why I hate DCUM at times. Why is it necessary to pile on the OP? Why not try to offer her workable solutions, instead of just calling her lazy and fat? "

'Cause it sound like OP spends her day as a limo driver, taking her kids on B.S. outings.

[Anonymous]

Agree--a 4 and 1 year old are plenty of work anyday. Some of these responders are DH a**holes or moms of kids who are already in school who are mis-remembering how all-consuming little kids were.

[Anonymous]

"To everyone else who assumes I'm fat, lazy, at the pool all day, or whatever-eff off. "

Classy. Did you learn that in an Ivy?