Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different last name is embarrassing to your children especially middle and high school , save them the grief

Only for morons like you inventing problems and inventing ways to judge people. Not once has my child been embarrassed by his or my name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

[Anonymous]

Father's name is more important than husband's. He might end up abusive, and you might get divorced, and he isn't blood related.

[Anonymous]

A woman who truly loves the guy she says she wants to marry doesn't think twice about taking his last name. In fact, she wants to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

It's truly impressive that people like you make it to adulthood, considering you have so many limitations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

I like Oliphant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman who truly loves the guy she says she wants to marry doesn't think twice about taking his last name. In fact, she wants to.

I most certainly didn't want to. But I chose a much better, smarter man to be my husband than you are so there is that. My name is part of who I am, just like his name is part of who he is. If he is so cavalier about giving that up, maybe he should change his name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

It's truly impressive that people like you make it to adulthood, considering you have so many limitations.

Have you ever coached kids? It very hard to associate kids with their mom when they have different last names. I assume it’s difficult for teachers as well, along with anyone else interacting with the family.

[Anonymous]

I love this sort of threads.
Posters: "OP is so dramatic!"
Also posters: "If you don't take husband's name your children will be humiliated by their peers and you'll get burnt at the stake for being a harlot".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different last name is embarrassing to your children especially middle and high school , save them the grief

As someone whose mom never changed her name, no, no it's not. I don't think anyone ever even noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

It's truly impressive that people like you make it to adulthood, considering you have so many limitations.

Have you ever coached kids? It very hard to associate kids with their mom when they have different last names. I assume it’s difficult for teachers as well, along with anyone else interacting with the family.

I know it's hard for you, honey. That's why I said it's impressive you made it this far, considering how stupid you are (in case you didn't get what I said above). Literally not one person has had a hard time associating my child with me, despite us having different last names. Hell, he doesn't even look like me (he is blond, blue-eyed and I look hispanic).

[Anonymous]

There are lots of potential compromises. I agree that you should try to have another conversation about this and see if you can both do so empathetically, calmly, and with open minds. That- more than the outcome that's reached- will be most telling.

It is valid for DH to want you to take his last name. It is valid for you not to want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

It's truly impressive that people like you make it to adulthood, considering you have so many limitations.

Have you ever coached kids? It very hard to associate kids with their mom when they have different last names. I assume it’s difficult for teachers as well, along with anyone else interacting with the family.

It's really not. I just write "Hi, John Smith's mom here" or "Thanks, Jane (John's mom)". If I get emails or texts to "Mrs. Smith" it's not remotely a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

It's truly impressive that people like you make it to adulthood, considering you have so many limitations.

Have you ever coached kids? It very hard to associate kids with their mom when they have different last names. I assume it’s difficult for teachers as well, along with anyone else interacting with the family.

Would you admit this on a job interview when asked about weaknesses:

"It find it very hard to associate kids with their mom when they have different last names."

This is just embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction. Don’t blow this out of proportion.

Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage. Good luck!

Burden how?

Bubbling in all those letters on the SAT, not being able to complete it on written forms (running out of boxes), which can lead to inconsistency across documents, what to do when they themselves get married...
No dog in this fight, but I knew I didnt want to hyphenate for this reason.
Almost all of the moms in my neighborhood kept their names, and most of the kids have dad's last name (one hyphenates but they have short names)

I'm hyphenated. Never had any of the issues you list.

its very confusing what do you children decide or do you let them chose which name to take? WILD! they could have 3 different options, husband, wife's or the hyphan or maybe they can make a cool one up like fireman, or unicorn

It's truly impressive that people like you make it to adulthood, considering you have so many limitations.

Have you ever coached kids? It very hard to associate kids with their mom when they have different last names. I assume it’s difficult for teachers as well, along with anyone else interacting with the family.

No, it's not. Do you also forget to put the milk in the fridge because neither share a surname?