Disclosing if you’re sleeping with other people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larla and Larlo have been dating for 5 weeks, seeing each other about once a week. They’ve slept together 3 times.

The last time they met up (which was early afternoon), Larlo mentioned he had plans that evening. Larla asked if it was a date, Larlo said yes. Larla asked if Larlo was sleeping with her as well, Larlo said yes.

Larla broke things off because while he didn’t directly lie, he failed to communicate he was sleeping with someone else. Larlo maintains that he did nothing wrong since they hadn’t talked about being exclusive, and was still figuring out which woman he wanted to commit to, but has told Larla he will stop seeing the other woman and exclusively date her.

Larla is debating it, but is leaning towards no, because she believes he should have been upfront and honest about sleeping with someone else even if they weren’t exclusive because of the emotional and STD risks. Dating others would have been fine, sleeping with them, not okay. Also, felt very gross that Larlo literally slept with her that afternoon and the other woman that evening.

Who is right/wrong here?

It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong and that is a childish way to even think about this.

All that matters is how they feel.

If Larla doesn’t like finding while she is getting dressed that he is on his way to his next hookup then she isn’t obligated to keep seeing him.

This is maybe also an argument for getting to know someone first…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larla and Larlo have been dating for 5 weeks, seeing each other about once a week. They’ve slept together 3 times.

The last time they met up (which was early afternoon), Larlo mentioned he had plans that evening. Larla asked if it was a date, Larlo said yes. Larla asked if Larlo was sleeping with her as well, Larlo said yes.

Larla broke things off because while he didn’t directly lie, he failed to communicate he was sleeping with someone else. Larlo maintains that he did nothing wrong since they hadn’t talked about being exclusive, and was still figuring out which woman he wanted to commit to, but has told Larla he will stop seeing the other woman and exclusively date her.

Larla is debating it, but is leaning towards no, because she believes he should have been upfront and honest about sleeping with someone else even if they weren’t exclusive because of the emotional and STD risks. Dating others would have been fine, sleeping with them, not okay. Also, felt very gross that Larlo literally slept with her that afternoon and the other woman that evening.

Who is right/wrong here?

I am sorry the default contract is non being exclusive until verbally confirmed. Larla can break up but will face the same issue with the next Larlo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe don't' sleep with someone after 2 dates?

Guy here.

I’m fine with waiting but women who wait always end things with me

The only girlfriends I’ve ever had were ones who slept with me on the first date.

There are plenty of women I’ve gone on dates with and haven’t had an expectation of sex but those never turn into relationships, which is unfortunate.

I’d love to have the experience of courting a woman without rushing into sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe don't' sleep with someone after 2 dates?

Guy here.

I’m fine with waiting but women who wait always end things with me

The only girlfriends I’ve ever had were ones who slept with me on the first date.

There are plenty of women I’ve gone on dates with and haven’t had an expectation of sex but those never turn into relationships, which is unfortunate.

I’d love to have the experience of courting a woman without rushing into sex.

That’s just not the case for most women. I don’t feel anything romantic if sex happens on 2-3 dates . All these connections ended up short lived. My only relationships that lasted were only with men who actually courted me and organized substantive dates.

Maybe you are committing too soon and opting for easily available sex instead of trying to find “your person”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

Do your daughters know that their mother banged 40 strangers in her 4 years in NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

Do your daughters know that their mother banged 40 strangers in her 4 years in NYC?

DP. Why in the world you be talking about your old sex life with your kids? Very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

Do your daughters know that their mother banged 40 strangers in her 4 years in NYC?

DP. Why in the world you be talking about your old sex life with your kids? Very weird.

Talking with your kids is 'weird' but letting rando dudes ejaculate inside your is normal? Yeah, you're the freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

Do your daughters know that their mother banged 40 strangers in her 4 years in NYC?

DP. Why in the world you be talking about your old sex life with your kids? Very weird.

Talking with your kids is 'weird' but letting rando dudes ejaculate inside your is normal? Yeah, you're the freak.

Would it be ok if dad had multiple sexual partners before meeting mom or is it only a problem for young single women to have sex?

[Anonymous]

Larlo is gross and hopefully Larla has learned to communicate her expectations. This is going nowhere at this point and hopefully over

[Anonymous]

I think it's fair to assume in the first month or two of dating that people are seeing other people. But absolutely no one wants to be the afternoon lay as their partner gets ready for their evening date. It's messy psychologically. But also the STD risks alone.

Would be out in a nanosecond. Incompatible. Not on the same page when it comes to sex. Don't want syphilis or gonorrhea or HIV. There is either trust or there is zero trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

Do your daughters know that their mother banged 40 strangers in her 4 years in NYC?

How many men should a single woman be allowed to sleep with in her 20s? And when you say strangers, exactly how long must she know each of them before having sex so no one calls them “strangers” 25 years later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

I’m a woman, now 49 and married for 20 years with no cheating.

Do your daughters know that their mother banged 40 strangers in her 4 years in NYC?

Probably. Do they send her a card saying "Happy Mother's Day, you retired slut!"

[Anonymous]

Yeah that's a heck no for me.

Larla needs to communicate better.

Larlo is a gross man whore.

[Anonymous]

This is all so funny. Retired sluts are trying to reshape the narrative 20 years later, but I bet a milion dollars each and every one of them would be horrified if their daughters did as they did.