Disclosing if you’re sleeping with other people

[Anonymous]

Larlo is a player but Larla should have known better than to assume that it was exclusive. She should have asked. And it's better to wait longer than this to sleep with a a guy - that helps weed out the players.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

Agreed this was not the norm just 25 years ago. I’m guessing it was the internet, phones, apps that changed the culture, and I agree there’s likely to be pushback. All the driven 18 year old girls I know are looking for husbands - which is gross in its own way, but definitely a pendulum swing from the bizarre expectation the posters on this have that you should assume everyone is constantly sleeping with multiple people.

When I met dh 25 years ago, we were both young, social good looking mid 20s with an active dating and social life. Dh was a frat bro. But even then, when we met at a party and super hit it off, dh opted not to call me (he told me later) because he had just reconnected with an ex gf and hooking up with her. The unspoken thing from that being that, while he was hanging out with her, it wouldn’t have been cool to start something with me. Then we ran into each other six weeks later, I guess that girl was out of the picture, and so it was 100 percent on between us. That’s what dating was like back then with normal healthy people. Anyone seeing (or worse sleeping with) multiple ppl at once was seen as a defective cad who you wanted to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I’d like to avoid moralizing here, but when did this kind of behavior become the norm? What happened to liking someone, pursuing them, and wanting just that one person?! I never had to negotiate with and interview a man to understand that we are in a relationship—an “exclusive” one! That word, or even the concept, doesn’t exist in my native language. What nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

Agreed this was not the norm just 25 years ago. I’m guessing it was the internet, phones, apps that changed the culture, and I agree there’s likely to be pushback. All the driven 18 year old girls I know are looking for husbands - which is gross in its own way, but definitely a pendulum swing from the bizarre expectation the posters on this have that you should assume everyone is constantly sleeping with multiple people.

When I met dh 25 years ago, we were both young, social good looking mid 20s with an active dating and social life. Dh was a frat bro. But even then, when we met at a party and super hit it off, dh opted not to call me (he told me later) because he had just reconnected with an ex gf and hooking up with her. The unspoken thing from that being that, while he was hanging out with her, it wouldn’t have been cool to start something with me. Then we ran into each other six weeks later, I guess that girl was out of the picture, and so it was 100 percent on between us. That’s what dating was like back then with normal healthy people. Anyone seeing (or worse sleeping with) multiple ppl at once was seen as a defective cad who you wanted to avoid.

I have late teen daughters and while I don’t necessarily agree that they are searching for husbands right now, it’s not at all what’s described on this post. I’m guessing that some of this is middle aged people who feel they missed out earlier and now apps make so many people available?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I’d like to avoid moralizing here, but when did this kind of behavior become the norm? What happened to liking someone, pursuing them, and wanting just that one person?! I never had to negotiate with and interview a man to understand that we are in a relationship—an “exclusive” one! That word, or even the concept, doesn’t exist in my native language. What nonsense.

I know, right? It’s so transactional and off-putting. That so many people here normalize it doesn’t speak for them. It’s apparently the middle aged people - early-mid 40s? It’s apparently worse in The Villages…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larlo is a player but Larla should have known better than to assume that it was exclusive. She should have asked. And it's better to wait longer than this to sleep with a a guy - that helps weed out the players.

Larla is also a slut. She was willing to jump into bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

[Anonymous]

Team Larlo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call me old fashioned, but when I was growing up only whores and man sluts slept with multiple people at the same time.

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Are you a man or a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me old fashioned, but when I was growing up only whores and man sluts slept with multiple people at the same time.

😩

I go by what the man says. If he doesn't want exclusivity I'm dating others and sleeping with others. That being said, it never happened on a same day (!!!). Usually I would spend different weekends with different men until one exclusive relationships developed when I was dating. It was fine with protection but somewhat limited sex. Late 40s. I didn't date like that in my 20s before marriage/apps. but with the apps I presume all men are sleeping around a lot

[Anonymous]

Larlo did nothing wrong. Larla needs to ask if partner is intimate with anyone else ‘before’ being intimate with them if she cares about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous millennials… we didn’t do that in GenX, and young people don’t do that either. It’s considered gross, and serious/normal people don’t do that. Way to ruin your reputation in high school/college - for both men and women.

I'm a Gen Xer who lived in NYC in my early 20s and absolutely did that stuff, my friends and I seemed to have two or more partners simultaneously which was fine as long as we didn't promise exclusivity. When I hit my late 20s and wanted to settle down my behavior changed and I only looked for exclusive relationships, waiting longer to have sex. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as everyone is honest and upfront about your intentions and behavior.

Yeah but nyc has always been infamously known as a terrible place for dating where men treat women terribly and women have terrible odds of finding a decent husband. So yeah I would expect this trashy behavior there in the 90s and 2000s, but I also know that pretty much every female friend I had in New York at the time was miserable and leading a shitty dating life compared to the rest of us. So not a model to emulate

[Anonymous]

Many people on elite university campuses definitely were doing this kind of stuff in the late 1990s and early 2000s.