Feeling left behind —— BF isn’t committing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re 26 and want six babies? I wouldn’t want to marry you either. Who are you expecting to financially support that many mouths?

This is code for “I don’t want to work yet be provided everything I want.”

LOL, I’d rather work on a deep sea oil rig than raise 6 kids. That would be intense 24/7 work. You’re ridiculous.

plus a million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends

Haha The real question is would their wives agree with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am the youngest of five which is why I want my own big family. He makes a very high salary, one that’s definitely high enough to support five or six kids, so that isn’t really the issue. I also have a very supporting high earning family.

But, I recently moved in with him, a few months ago, I’m not even fully moved in, so I could still move back out.

I’m hesitant to leave because social relationships (friends or boyfriends) are honestly very mentally exhausting and hard to maintain for me (I feel really shy and drained) especially when new, but after 3.5 years, I feel so comfortable that it would be so hard to leave.

dont move in unless engaged,,,,

[Anonymous]

This is ultimatum time. You have been together long enough for him to know. I would not move in. It will be harder to move out. You guys are both the perfect age to get engaged.

I remember feeling somewhat similarly to you with my husband. I was around 26. I told him it is fine if he doesn’t want to get married and that we should break up if he doesn’t want to. He proposed a few months later. Immediately after I got engaged, I met so many guys.

You are still young and the perfect age to meet someone. Don’t waste these precious years on him if he doesn’t want to get married.

[Anonymous]

A man who wants 6 kids is not still trying to buy a "few" more years at 34.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man who wants 6 kids is not still trying to buy a "few" more years at 34.

You are right about that. Take away that he may or may not want to marry OP. Seems misaligned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends

Haha The real question is would their wives agree with you?

+1. These are the 20% types who claim to do 80.

"I rake the leaves!"*

*1x/year

[Anonymous]

He is not into you and he doesn’t see you as his future wife. He probably enjoys your youth and beauty, but you are not likely to have his last name. Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Two years is the limit for dating, IMO. A guy should know by then. Don't live with him unless you're engaged and in this case, have an actual date for the wedding. Because the next step will be that you are his forever fiancee. Some people are comfortable with being the fiancee indefinitely (and even have kids) but if you're not, don't settle for this! Find someone else. You are likely to meet someone where you and he commit much sooner. I met my husband at 29 and we were married by the next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends

Haha The real question is would their wives agree with you?

Yes, because I’m friends with them, too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends

Haha The real question is would their wives agree with you?

+1. These are the 20% types who claim to do 80.

"I rake the leaves!"*

*1x/year

People like you are so insufferable. Just because you married the wrong guy, not everyone else did. My friends are phenomenal dads, they just are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends

Haha The real question is would their wives agree with you?

+1. These are the 20% types who claim to do 80.

"I rake the leaves!"*

*1x/year

People like you are so insufferable. Just because you married the wrong guy, not everyone else did. My friends are phenomenal dads, they just are

Good to hear. All the studies beg to differ. Believe me or don't, it is what it is. Sorry that makes you mad (imagine how the wives feel).

[Anonymous]

Setting aside any kind of judgment of OP's desire for 5+ children, finding a partner who ALSO wants that kind of family requires more commitment up front than this guy is demonstrating. A man who wants that kind of family life is dating to marry in his mid-20s, like OP.

OP's boyfriend might be open to a bunch of kids and be able to pay for them, but if that was the kind of family HE was planning for, he would already be married and have those kids at 34.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends

Haha The real question is would their wives agree with you?

+1. These are the 20% types who claim to do 80.

"I rake the leaves!"*

*1x/year

People like you are so insufferable. Just because you married the wrong guy, not everyone else did. My friends are phenomenal dads, they just are

Good to hear. All the studies beg to differ. Believe me or don't, it is what it is. Sorry that makes you mad (imagine how the wives feel).

"All the studies" beg to differ on what - that poster's male friends being good dads? How many studies can there possibly be on that topic?

Please point me to the studies that indicate that there are no good dads of more than 2 kids. Because that's essentially what you're saying - that it's not possibly to be a good dad with more than 2 kids. I can't imagine that "all the studies" actually support that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am the youngest of five which is why I want my own big family. He makes a very high salary, one that’s definitely high enough to support five or six kids, so that isn’t really the issue. I also have a very supporting high earning family.

But, I recently moved in with him, a few months ago, I’m not even fully moved in, so I could still move back out.

I’m hesitant to leave because social relationships (friends or boyfriends) are honestly very mentally exhausting and hard to maintain for me (I feel really shy and drained) especially when new, but after 3.5 years, I feel so comfortable that it would be so hard to leave.

What do you bring to the relationship beyond a sx drive? Make your own money, girliepop, then come back to us.