Feeling left behind —— BF isn’t committing

[Anonymous]

Sorry, it's time to s*it or get off the pot. 3.5 years, he doesn't want to marry you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I listen to your reasons for wanting to get married and they seem to boil down to:

1) It’s time; and
2) He’s loaded.

You say he’s the best partner you have ever had (in your very limited experience) but you never really describe what it is that you love about him beyond a checklist.

My sweet, summer child: He sees that, too. What do you really have to offer except youth and presumably beauty? And just because he CAN afford 5-6 children in no way means he wants half a football team.

I laughed out loud at best partner she has ever had. Better than the guys you dated in HS and college. Mmmmmkay. OP sounds immature and her BF sounds like a guy who is not that into his hot young thing except as a toy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he's a rich guy who tries to date younger women, and not settle.

Also, you're the baby of five and also young, do you really know what it takes to have a large family nowadays?

This! Like a lot of things,a big family is more work and less fun when you're the mom.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Time to move on.

There are plenty of high value men who would love to settle down with a grounded woman who wants 5 - 6 babies. Ignore the hags here who think that 3 children is ridiculous. Large families are lovely but you need the right man and this guy isn’t it.

[Anonymous]

Leave and find one of those fruitful quiver type fellas. Jim Bob or one of his sons. No sane guy making good money at 34 wants that many kids.

You have to be really dumb, young and not very experienced with the richness of this life to think that is a good idea.

Life is a buffet and most sorry suckers are starving, a 34 year old, never been married man isn’t starving and probably has no plans to start starving himself with 5-6 kids and a McMansion any time soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am the youngest of five which is why I want my own big family. He makes a very high salary, one that’s definitely high enough to support five or six kids, so that isn’t really the issue. I also have a very supporting high earning family.

But, I recently moved in with him, a few months ago, I’m not even fully moved in, so I could still move back out.

I’m hesitant to leave because social relationships (friends or boyfriends) are honestly very mentally exhausting and hard to maintain for me (I feel really shy and drained) especially when new, but after 3.5 years, I feel so comfortable that it would be so hard to leave.

Move to Utah and convert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t live with someone you aren’t engaged to.

You are still very young, but old enough to know what you want. He is certainly old enough to know what he wants. If you’re not engaged after 3+ years, it’s not going to happen. I know it’s hard, but in your shoes I would move out and move on.

+1. Do not waste one more day on this guy. He’s just not that into you.

And next time, do not shack up without a ring and a date.

Yup. Learned this the hard way myself. And… shocker… exBF regretted letting me go. Tough. Find a guy who knows it when he has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re 26 and want six babies? I wouldn’t want to marry you either. Who are you expecting to financially support that many mouths?

This is code for “I don’t want to work yet be provided everything I want.”

[Anonymous]

Tell him you think it's best you move out since he isn't sure about marriage. He should not get the benefit of living with you without marriage when marriage is what you want.

Then are sure he is having to spend time at your place, not just his. Make him come to you. Even if it means he's having to shower in a communal shower.

Basically, don't make it super comfortable for him to date you without marrying you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re 26 and want six babies? I wouldn’t want to marry you either. Who are you expecting to financially support that many mouths?

This is code for “I don’t want to work yet be provided everything I want.”

LOL, I’d rather work on a deep sea oil rig than raise 6 kids. That would be intense 24/7 work. You’re ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he doesn’t know after 3.5 years, he’s just not that into you and you should move on. I speak from experience. If you choose to waste any more time, that’s on you.

+1 If you want to get married looking at 26 is a lot less stressful than looking in your thirties because some guy strung you along for all of your 20s.

But also: 6 babies is a dumb goal, and moving in without a ring is not a good idea if marriage is your plan.

[Anonymous]

OP what does your BF think about having a large family? I’m not against big families-I have 4 kids-but my husband isn’t that thrilled that we have so many kids, and there’s some resentment. Have you talked to your BF about it?

[Anonymous]

1. Who do you expect to take care of these six kids? Not just financially but emotionally, academically, socially?
2. Did he say he's happy to spend his high income on six kids?
3. Do you intend to be a SAHM?
4. Do you really think he wants to haul a basketball team's worth of kids around on a vacation? You think that'll be relaxing?

[Anonymous]

This guy is dodging a bullet.

7 bullets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many husbands do you know who are fully competent fathers of 2+ children? Or any children for that matter?

guy here- answer, every single one of my friends